Does Son have to show up at adotion hearing?

[enjmabe]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I have a question about "step parent" adoption. Everything has went as planned up until now, I got a call from attorney's office this morning. The papers have been signed by both the biological dad, my self and my husband, we are all supposed to go to the hearing next Wednesday. My only problem is that I was told by the parlegal that my son needed to be present at the hearing, I called the Clerks office and explained my situation " I have always had sole custody, the father left when our son was 6 weeks old, he has seen his biological dad a few times when he was 3, he does not know that my husband is not his real father currently, he is an AG student, we have been married over 5 years, he has a 5 year old brother, We gave my son the option to keep his last name or have it changed to ours, he chose ours, by laws does an eight year old have to be present during a consentual step parent adotion? I am waiting on a phone call from the clerks office and want to know my rights. Thanks to all!

 

[CourtClerk]

So, you lied to your son and you want to continue on that lie instead of explaining to him how SPECIAL and WONDERFUL adoption is and how lucky he is to have someone CHOOSE you instead of having to be stuck with irresponsible liars for parents (ok, well he's still stuck with a liar for a parent but you can't win them all).

Generally, after a certain age, a child has to be present at the adoption hearing, and sometimes they even have to give their consent to the adoption. 8 is a little young for a child to give consent, but I have NEVER seen an adoption done where the child isn't present.

Tell your child the truth for God's sake. It's not like one day he won't find out, THEN how will you look????

 

[enjmabe]

So, you lied to your son and you want to continue on that lie instead of explaining to him how SPECIAL and WONDERFUL adoption is and how lucky he is to have someone CHOOSE you instead of having to be stuck with irresponsible liars for parents (ok, well he's still stuck with a liar for a parent but you can't win them all).

Generally, after a certain age, a child has to be present at the adoption hearing, and sometimes they even have to give their consent to the adoption. 8 is a little young for a child to give consent, but I have NEVER seen an adoption done where the child isn't present.

Tell your child the truth for God's sake. It's not like one day he won't find out, THEN how will you look????

You never answered my question! Does my son LEGALLY have to be there? This is the place for LEGAL advice correct, not morals, I am not asking for a judgement from you or anyone else in this forum, Only God will judge me!

 

[Zigner]

You never answered my question! Does my son LEGALLY have to be there? This is the place for LEGAL advice correct, not morals, I am not asking for a judgement from you or anyone else in this forum, Only God will judge me!

You've already been advised by your legal adviser. You are only here to get an answer you WANT to hear, instead of the legally accurate one.

 

[enjmabe]

You've already been advised by your legal adviser. You are only here to get an answer you WANT to hear, instead of the legally accurate one.

I have not heard anything from my legal advisor yet! But I guess that is what I will have to do since no one here seems to have an obvious answer! By the way, It is not "What I Want to hear, but what is "legally" right. Now if anyone knows North Carolina's Step Parent adoption laws, please feel free to reply.Other wise, keep the judging and smart remarks to yourself.Oh , How about I will let YOU know what is legally right when I find out from a REAL attorney, bunch of wanna be's!

 

[enjmabe]

So, you lied to your son and you want to continue on that lie instead of explaining to him how SPECIAL and WONDERFUL adoption is and how lucky he is to have someone CHOOSE you instead of having to be stuck with irresponsible liars for parents (ok, well he's still stuck with a liar for a parent but you can't win them all).

Generally, after a certain age, a child has to be present at the adoption hearing, and sometimes they even have to give their consent to the adoption. 8 is a little young for a child to give consent, but I have NEVER seen an adoption done where the child isn't present.

Tell your child the truth for God's sake. It's not like one day he won't find out, THEN how will you look????

So there is a LAW that tells me what age I should tell my son he is adopted, I guess there is a certain speech you have written out that I should practice saying before I tell him! Please let me read the speech, I am sure you have one well written out from previous experience, right? Who are you to tell me when or how I should tell my child about his adoption? Just stick to the question at hand, please!

 

[Silverplum]

Because quoting is good.

I have not heard anything from my legal advisor yet! But I guess that is what I will have to do since no one here seems to have an obvious answer! By the way, It is not "What I Want to hear, but what is "legally" right. Now if anyone knows North Carolina's Step Parent adoption laws, please feel free to reply.Other wise, keep the judging and smart remarks to yourself.Oh , How about I will let YOU know what is legally right when I find out from a REAL attorney, bunch of wanna be's!

Yes, you have heard from your legal advisor:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I have a question about "step parent" adoption. Everything has went as planned up until now, I got a call from attorney's office this morning. The papers have been signed by both the biological dad, my self and my husband, we are all supposed to go to the hearing next Wednesday. My only problem is that I was told by the parlegal that my son needed to be present at the hearing, I called the Clerks office and explained my situation " I have always had sole custody, the father left when our son was 6 weeks old, he has seen his biological dad a few times when he was 3, he does not know that my husband is not his real father currently, he is an AG student, we have been married over 5 years, he has a 5 year old brother, We gave my son the option to keep his last name or have it changed to ours, he chose ours, by laws does an eight year old have to be present during a consentual step parent adotion? I am waiting on a phone call from the clerks office and want to know my rights. Thanks to all!

We are entirely within OUR rights to help whomever we choose. Also to ignore whomever we choose.

Goodbye.

 

[Silverplum]

So there is a LAW that tells me what age I should tell my son he is adopted, I guess there is a certain speech you have written out that I should practice saying before I tell him! Please let me read the speech, I am sure you have one well written out from previous experience, right? Who are you to tell me when or how I should tell my child about his adoption? Just stick to the question at hand, please!

qu-qu-quoting!

 

[Zigner]

I have not heard anything from my legal advisor yet!

Then you are a liar (but your kid will find that out soon enough)

I got a call from attorney's office this morning. The papers have been signed by both the biological dad, my self and my husband, we are all supposed to go to the hearing next Wednesday. My only problem is that I was told by the parlegal that my son needed to be present at the hearing

 

[CourtClerk]

Who are you to tell me when or how I should tell my child about his adoption? Just stick to the question at hand, please!

Ok, I'll stick to the question at hand...

I am someone who sits in a courtroom for 45 - 50 hours a week listening to all kinds of tales of whoa from kids and adults who have jackasses for parents. Who have lived irresponsibly, who have continually lied to their children and then leave their children to figure out life, leave their children to figure out WHO THEY REALLY ARE because they've been LIED TO for a significant part of their lives. I am someone who has had to on countless times sit and talk to these children and console them because their (most of the time) mothers have crap for brains and care more about THEIR lives and THEIR feelings than REALLY thinking about how THEIR decisions effect their children. They make assinine decisions and then try and make themselves feel better because in their mind, they are doing it for the greater good of their kids... NOT.

I have been a foster parent, an adoptive parent and I have my own biological child. So when your child comes across someone like me who will have nothing but sympathy for them because they were born with YOU as a parent, you can thank me and those like me later.

 

[enjmabe]

Then you are a liar (but your kid will find that out soon enough)

Find somewhere else to get your kicks, you are on her 24/7, dont you have a life! Dont call me a LIAR, you are NOTHING!

 

[Some Random Guy]

If the judge wants to see the child and you cannot provide them in court, then your adoption will not go through.

Your attorney has already told you to bring the child.
You have already called the Clerk of Courts about the issue - but you did not tell us their response.

Senior members here have told you "Generally, after a certain age, a child has to be present at the adoption hearing" And that's the best answer you're going to get from us because it depends on the judge and the local court.

By your lawyer's own account, the judge is expecting to see a child and there will be none in the courtroom. So I would wager that the first question he will ask is "where is the child being adopted?" If you answer "we didn't bring him because we are hiding his adoption from him", expect you get a nice long lecture about wasting the court's time and then have the hearing rescheduled.

in NC, the child has to be 12 before their consent is required.
Chapter VI: Adoption Services

 

[Zigner]

So there is a LAW that tells me what age I should tell my son he is adopted, I guess there is a certain speech you have written out that I should practice saying before I tell him! Please let me read the speech, I am sure you have one well written out from previous experience, right? Who are you to tell me when or how I should tell my child about his adoption? Just stick to the question at hand, please!

How about "Hey, Johnny - we're headed to the court house so that your adoption can be completed...sorry for lying to you!"

 

[Zigner]

Find somewhere else to get your kicks, you are on her 24/7, dont you have a life! Dont call me a LIAR, you are NOTHING!

I'm sorry for pointing out the truth...

ETA: I'm not on here 24/7 - I let my wife use the computer for a MINIMUM of 17 minutes per day!

 

[enjmabe]

Ok, I'll stick to the question at hand...

I am someone who sits in a courtroom for 45 - 50 hours a week listening to all kinds of tales of whoa from kids and adults who have jackasses for parents. Who have lived irresponsibly, who have continually lied to their children and then leave their children to figure out life, leave their children to figure out WHO THEY REALLY ARE because they've been LIED TO for a significant part of their lives. I am someone who has had to on countless times sit and talk to these children and console them because their (most of the time) mothers have crap for brains and care more about THEIR lives and THEIR feelings than REALLY thinking about how THEIR decisions effect their children. They make assinine decisions and then try and make themselves feel better because in their mind, they are doing it for the greater good of their kids... NOT.

I have been a foster parent, an adoptive parent and I have my own biological child. So when your child comes across someone like me who will have nothing but sympathy for them because they were born with YOU as a parent, you can thank me and those like me later.

And still no answer! Did you foregt the question? Let me tell you again" Does my 8 year old son "legally" have to be present at a NC step parent adotion hearing?" And you are giving out what kind of advice again, was it legal or moral? If I had to pick, I would say moral, but do not "qu qu quote"me because I am a liar!