Does summer vacation supercede Father's Day?

[MichaCA]

Hi,

I'm getting some good ideas, and by golly, I'm gonna learn to cut and paste today if it kills me.

This is not a do or die trip. At all. It makes me sad its so cumbersome, but thats all.

After my last post here, I decided to drop it. Just go in July.

To CJane, the problem for ME...is this year...I am just not up to a whirlwind trip (very appropriate name). My health is not up to it. Frankly, I am deciding at the last minute to take us this year...I hesitated to go last year...I have a non life threatening disease which acts up a lot. But we went (the second beach trip with my dad and sisters, husbands, kids, cousins) and me and my dad got in this bad wreck I we are both still recovering from (I have another round of physical therapy this summer).

This scheduling issue popped up, just one more thing to navigate...so I posted.

I keep thinking to go to court (before summer) each year for at least these summer logistics, and keep not doing it for one reason or other.

I think I'm going to get some coffee and answer more specific questions.

CJane, I appreciate you describing your schedule...its interesting and I'd like to ask some questions about it...although its FAR different from what we are doing...who knows, maybe one day dad and I can agree to some changes.

 

[MichaCA]

OK, basically, w/out looking at the court order (its in different orders)...our vacation period is as follows;

*vacations to be taken in July or August" - (I have let dad take two vacations in June, he let me take that one three years ago...now its up again...not just Fathers Day)

we each get to exercise up to two weeks of vacation...if we use two weeks together, then the other parent gets an automatic 48 hour period with child upon return...then normal visitation resumes.

Vacation must begin using the longest period of visitation. (that one I don't get and plan to write out what would be lost if we just picked any old time...keeping the mandatory 48 hours upon return).

Also, it got included child must be home from any vacation one week before school starts, and I know dad tried to get it in that she not travel right after school out for one week (?!)...so in other words...esp on years dad gets first pick (he has past three years...one of the concessions for his losing fathers day three years ago)...I usually get one date out of the summer. Since we go back east, its troublesome as I want to see my direct nieces and nephews and other folks...sometimes it works, sometimes they are on a pre-planned vacation.

CJane, what do you do if you want to take family for a two week vacation to HI...do you just wait for "your" year to plan it?

Can you pick any old time for your two week times (outside of the holiday times) or do you need to leave on a specific day of your visitation period?

The reality is, is I moved out west a long time ago. Another reality is when I was pregnant, I chose to stay in CA because at that time I was very concerned that the father show up in daughters life, even if we were separated. So I know I need to take responsibility for being so far away from my family. However they are my family, and part of daughters' family...and I swear the father has made it hard for us to have meaningful time with them. (before we had our current court order that addresses summer vacation he would not "allow" me to visit NC at all with daughter for years).

I do make a point to wholeheartedly support visitation changes when his family visits from HI, or he can afford to take daughter there. I think family is impo. all the way around...esp as neither of us has remarried...our families are still "out there".

I hope that answers questions. I'm letting the wedding go. My family knows I'm not well and they will understand. (they were all with us when the wreck happened and our caretakers). However I do intend to be more proactive in trying to come up with a less cumbersome summer schedule for the future.

 

[CJane]

CJane, what do you do if you want to take family for a two week vacation to HI...do you just wait for "your" year to plan it?

Yes, I'd plan the trip for a year that I had first choice. Right now, I could plan every one of my weekends and summer periods until the kids age out (03/2018) if I wanted to. Holidays too. There's no room for 'accidentally' infringing on dad's time.

Can you pick any old time for your two week times (outside of the holiday times) or do you need to leave on a specific day of your visitation period?

Our time is unrestricted as far as what we with it. If I want to spend every second of it out of town, I can. Or we can go nowhere at all.

Is this single 2 week period specified as the only time you can travel?

 

[MichaCA]

No, there are two other times in July when I can still use my "beginning of longest custodial period" without running into other restrictions.

I just thought I'd ask about the fathers' day thing in general. Very enlightening...what I thought, I just wanted to make sure. (much of the dispute three years ago @fathers day was also about leaving in June...I had almost forgotten that issue).