Does writing "loan" in a check notation prove there was a loan?

[LdiJ]

You're right - you don't understand. An executor's job is to divide up the estate between the heirs. If two heirs have equal inheritance standing (i.e. the estate is split 50/50), then each heir gets 50% of the value. So no, he doesn't get to keep everything of value and leave you with the trash. That's not how it works. It's been explained to you several times on this thread.

And basically, you took everything of monetary value out of the house already and donated it

 

[stealth2]

I expect to be in a similar position. My brother - who I despise - is my parents' executor. I know how the wind blows. At the end of the day? I don't really care. Is there stuff I'd like to have? Sure. But it's not worth the fighting. I'll happily pack up my stuff and go away.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I was initially sympathetic, but at this point I think Mellie needs to get a grip.

If she wanted her childhood photos, she could have gotten them, or copies, years ago. Her life still exists, even if the photos are out of her possession. Fixating on that is melodramatic.

Stop communicating about the estate with the brother. Any communications about the estate should go through the lawyer, and be terse, unemotional, and to the point. Unlike this thread.

Multiple issues can be addressed in one communication. Briefly and precisely.

Including the issue of the ashes. Although you might expand on that. I'm sure that the lawyer would side with the idea that the lawyer getting paid is a higher priority than burying ashes. It is unfortunate that your mother did not do more end of life planning. My parents and grandparents were very explicit about what they wanted to be done with their remains. My grandmother included that she wanted no funeral or memorial services, and we bent that a little - because ministers came to the family and requested that they be allowed to have Memorial Services at their church (<-- no charge to the estate).

 

[MellieP]

And I didn't say he gets to do that. I said he gets to keep whatever he wants, and dole out whatever he wants, AS LONG AS it's of equal value. That's how it's been explained to me that it works. And this means it's pointless to say we inherited everything equally, when in fact, he is the one who gets to keep what he wants and leave what he wants to others. He can legally keep 50% and give me 40% and dole out the other 10 as he pleases. Therefore, I don't really own 50%. He owns everything in the eyes of the law, as long as all the value is equally split. I have no say. That's crystal clear, and it's insane.

 

[Just Blue]

And I didn't say he gets to do that. I said he gets to keep whatever he wants, and dole out whatever he wants, AS LONG AS it's of equal value. That's how it's been explained to me that it works. And this means it's pointless to say we inherited everything equally, when in fact, he is the one who gets to keep what he wants and leave what he wants to others. He can legally keep 50% and give me 40% and dole out the other 10 as he pleases. Therefore, I don't really own 50%. He owns everything in the eyes of the law, as long as all the value is equally split. I have no say. That's crystal clear, and it's insane.

After 109 posts I doubt that there is any other advice left to offer you. Your options have been explained ad nauseam. Discuss with an attorney if you like.

 

[MellieP]

I was initially sympathetic, but at this point I think Mellie needs to get a grip.

If she wanted her childhood photos, she could have gotten them, or copies, years ago. Her life still exists, even if the photos are out of her possession. Fixating on that is melodramatic.

Stop communicating about the estate with the brother. Any communications about the estate should go through the lawyer, and be terse, unemotional, and to the point. Unlike this thread.

Multiple issues can be addressed in one communication. Briefly and precisely.

Including the issue of the ashes. Although you might expand on that. I'm sure that the lawyer would side with the idea that the lawyer getting paid is a higher priority than burying ashes. It is unfortunate that your mother did not do more end of life planning. My parents and grandparents were very explicit about what they wanted to be done with their remains. My grandmother included that she wanted no funeral or memorial services, and we bent that a little - because ministers came to the family and requested that they be allowed to have Memorial Services at their church (<-- no charge to the estate).

This is about legal questions, not your personal opinions. You have no clue what the situation is or why I don't have those photos. Obviously, if I could have predicted he would do this, I would have done something about it ahead of time. The lawyer won't do anything about it, I would have to get my own lawyer, which is pointless. If I sued for these things and won, he'd give me ashes from his fireplace and tell me "whoops, the photos have been destroyed, guess you just wasted thousands on a lawyer huh" because he's mentally 3 years old. I didn't scan the photos, I don't have a time machine, and your comments aren't helpful.

 

[MellieP]

And since it WAS good advice to offer money to the estate for the photos, I have to wait until I get an answer about that offer, or at least wait until I've sent him the offer about 10 times so it looks very bad to the court for him not to acknowledge the offer due to his petty retaliation, or turn it down. Then, I'll stop communicating with him. But I will likely get notice in the mail that I'm getting sued, because this will piss him off, and he clearly has nothing better to do with his life than try to hurt me.

 

[stealth2]

Hon - it's *stuff*. That's all it is. Even the photos.

You're giving him too much rent-free space in your head. Inhale..... Exhale.....

(who knows what I've just finished binge-watching? 100 stealth-points at stake.)

 

[MellieP]

Hon - it's *stuff*. That's all it is. Even the photos.

You're giving him too much rent-free space in your head. Inhale..... Exhale.....

(who knows what I've just finished binge-watching? 100 stealth-points at stake.)

You're not going to convince me that photos are just stuff. They are the most important stuff. That's why people run into their burning homes to save them.

 

[cbg]

You keep insisting that he will sue you. Do you realize that just because he claims he's going to sue you doesn't mean he has legal grounds to sue you? Or that he will win if he tries to anyway?

 

[MellieP]

As I stated earlier, some attorneys have told me (after I started this thread) that he can indeed drag me to court for the attorney fees. I was told here that he would have little chance to do this when it's his lawyer. I even have an email from the lawyer telling me she can't advise me because she works for the estate, and therefore my brother. But three attorneys still told me he can sue.

Not only is it a concern, but since I would also have to travel, I am fully convinced that his plan would be to get me to fly out there, and then keep last-minute continuing the case, so as to waste my time and money traveling, only to make me travel again and again in the future until he's satisfied that I wasted enough money. It is not all in my head. Everything I predicted he would do up until this point, he has done, and then some. And since he said I could take everything in the house, I am sure he will try to come after me for the furniture too, which isn't worth anything, but it's his word against mine. I have not sold any of the non-probatable items (clothes, etc) because I'm so afraid he will stalk my ebay and give it to the court.

 

[Just Blue]

As I stated earlier, some attorneys have told me (after I started this thread) that he can indeed drag me to court for the attorney fees. I was told here that he would have little chance to do this when it's his lawyer. I even have an email from the lawyer telling me she can't advise me because she works for the estate, and therefore my brother. But three attorneys still told me he can sue.

Not only is it a concern, but since I would also have to travel, I am fully convinced that his plan would be to get me to fly out there, and then keep last-minute continuing the case, so as to waste my time and money traveling, only to make me travel again and again in the future until he's satisfied that I wasted enough money. It is not all in my head. Everything I predicted he would do up until this point, he has done, and then some. And since he said I could take everything in the house, I am sure he will try to come after me for the furniture too, which isn't worth anything, but it's his word against mine. I have not sold any of the non-probatable items (clothes, etc) because I'm so afraid he will stalk my ebay and give it to the court.

What, exactly, do you want from FreeAdvice? You have been advised by 3 Attorney's... do what they said to do.

Please keep in mind this is not a vent/therapy site.