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Domestic partner is cheating - what rights to I have? Can I kick her out

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Ghost.Rider

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland.

The question I would like to get answered specifically is, if I am not married, but have been living with a "domestic partner" for the past 8 years, and we have two children together, can I legally kick her out of my house?

Now for the background. Met this woman 8 years ago. She moved to my state to be with me. Two years later, we had kids. Yet in the first year together, things were so bad that we had to go through a church-offered marriage counselling service for a full year. Counselling did not help. She did not think anything is wrong with her - that everyone just doesn't understand, and even the counsellor told her/us that she is a "deeply tourbled young lady. The counsellor counciled me on what in her opinion would be to end the relationship before I get in "too deep". At that time, I wouldn't listen. The relationship moved on, and we had kids, including one miscarriage. You can just imagine how devestating that was to her. First child is great, 2nd child has autism.

Fast forward 6 years later. Sons are 6 and 5 years old. Relationship has spun out of control, and I have caught her cheating on me, or about to cheat on me. Every attempt to reconcile the relationship at this point has failed miserably. Right now she is a drain on my finances and emotions. She does not work, does not collect unemployment or government assistance. All she does is sit on the computer and gossip on facebook all day telling all of her friends how bad of a guy I am and how great she is. In the 8 years that she has been here with me, she has worked a grand total of 18 months. I have supported her fully this entire time. Now, I have found out that she is chatting with old boyfriends and new love interests on the internet from back in Ohio. I have caught her taking provocative photo's of herself and sending them to other men secretly via her cell phone, tablet, and emails. Life with her in this house is miserable. She has the ability to work, and she is incredibly gifted in office skills. Yet she refuses to find a job. She is eligible for food stamps and other medical assistance, yet she refuses to apply. I no longer wish to put up with this intolerable situation.

Thus, what rights - if any - do I have to remove her from the house? The children are in my name on the birth certificate. I want to protect my rights, and if anything, have the upper hand here. We are both named on the lease by name, but the lease has converted to month-to-month years ago. However I am the sole wage earner. for 6.5 out of the 8 years. Can you think of any "legal" way for me to evict her from my residence? How can I protect myself from her taking my kids out of state? Is there a legal way for me to get a new place of residence AND take my kids with me?

Any assistance here would be greatly appreciated!
 


ecmst12

Senior Member
If you are both on the lease then it's not your house and you can't make her leave. Only the landlord can do that and I highly doubt he will want to get involved.
 

single317dad

Senior Member
Find a new residence. Give your current landlord required advance notice that you're vacating the premises in writing (one month unless the lease says differently). Inform him that your partner is not invited to the new location, and any continuing agreement will be between him and her after the move-out date. At the same time, go to court and file for joint legal and shared physical custody of the children.

http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmStatutesText.aspx?article=grp&section=8-402&ext=html&session=2013RS&tab=subject5

This site has a pretty good outline of what to expect in a custody determination.

http://www.peoples-law.org/node/208

Note that #1 under "best interests of child" is "Primary Care Giver". While you've worked, Mom has likely primarily cared for the children. This is a big hurdle to overcome if you can't agree between yourselves on custody. Be prepared to pay child support per guidelines in any case.

http://www.dhr.state.md.us/CSOCGuide/App/disclaimer.do
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland.

The question I would like to get answered specifically is, if I am not married, but have been living with a "domestic partner" for the past 8 years, and we have two children together, can I legally kick her out of my house?

Now for the background. Met this woman 8 years ago. She moved to my state to be with me. Two years later, we had kids. Yet in the first year together, things were so bad that we had to go through a church-offered marriage counselling service for a full year. Counselling did not help. She did not think anything is wrong with her - that everyone just doesn't understand, and even the counsellor told her/us that she is a "deeply tourbled young lady. The counsellor counciled me on what in her opinion would be to end the relationship before I get in "too deep". At that time, I wouldn't listen. The relationship moved on, and we had kids, including one miscarriage. You can just imagine how devestating that was to her. First child is great, 2nd child has autism.

Fast forward 6 years later. Sons are 6 and 5 years old. Relationship has spun out of control, and I have caught her cheating on me, or about to cheat on me. Every attempt to reconcile the relationship at this point has failed miserably. Right now she is a drain on my finances and emotions. She does not work, does not collect unemployment or government assistance. All she does is sit on the computer and gossip on facebook all day telling all of her friends how bad of a guy I am and how great she is. In the 8 years that she has been here with me, she has worked a grand total of 18 months. I have supported her fully this entire time. Now, I have found out that she is chatting with old boyfriends and new love interests on the internet from back in Ohio. I have caught her taking provocative photo's of herself and sending them to other men secretly via her cell phone, tablet, and emails. Life with her in this house is miserable. She has the ability to work, and she is incredibly gifted in office skills. Yet she refuses to find a job. She is eligible for food stamps and other medical assistance, yet she refuses to apply. I no longer wish to put up with this intolerable situation.

Thus, what rights - if any - do I have to remove her from the house? The children are in my name on the birth certificate. I want to protect my rights, and if anything, have the upper hand here. We are both named on the lease by name, but the lease has converted to month-to-month years ago. However I am the sole wage earner. for 6.5 out of the 8 years. Can you think of any "legal" way for me to evict her from my residence? How can I protect myself from her taking my kids out of state? Is there a legal way for me to get a new place of residence AND take my kids with me?

Any assistance here would be greatly appreciated!
And this, my friends, is why playing house with a person you KNOW to have serious issues, is not wise. Especially when you decide to put kids in the midst of an unstable relationship. It is the kids who inevitably lose.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
And this, my friends, is why playing house with a person you KNOW to have serious issues, is not wise. Especially when you decide to put kids in the midst of an unstable relationship. It is the kids who inevitably lose.
Would things be different if they were legally married?

The kids don't always lose, read the bio of John Lennon.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland.

The question I would like to get answered specifically is, if I am not married, but have been living with a "domestic partner" for the past 8 years, and we have two children together, can I legally kick her out of my house?
If you do it the right way.
Now for the background. Met this woman 8 years ago. She moved to my state to be with me. Two years later, we had kids. Yet in the first year together, things were so bad that we had to go through a church-offered marriage counselling service for a full year. Counselling did not help. She did not think anything is wrong with her - that everyone just doesn't understand, and even the counsellor told her/us that she is a "deeply tourbled young lady. The counsellor counciled me on what in her opinion would be to end the relationship before I get in "too deep". At that time, I wouldn't listen. The relationship moved on, and we had kids, including one miscarriage. You can just imagine how devestating that was to her. First child is great, 2nd child has autism.
So you KNEW she was deeply troubled and then you CHOSE to have not one, BUT TWO children. Only the first child is great and the second has autism according to you. So the second child is not great? You are ridiculous. You also have no comprehension of what causes autism and how YOU contributed to that, do you? Because what, you are PERFECT?


Fast forward 6 years later. Sons are 6 and 5 years old. Relationship has spun out of control, and I have caught her cheating on me, or about to cheat on me. Every attempt to reconcile the relationship at this point has failed miserably. Right now she is a drain on my finances and emotions. She does not work, does not collect unemployment or government assistance. All she does is sit on the computer and gossip on facebook all day telling all of her friends how bad of a guy I am and how great she is. In the 8 years that she has been here with me, she has worked a grand total of 18 months. I have supported her fully this entire time. Now, I have found out that she is chatting with old boyfriends and new love interests on the internet from back in Ohio. I have caught her taking provocative photo's of herself and sending them to other men secretly via her cell phone, tablet, and emails. Life with her in this house is miserable. She has the ability to work, and she is incredibly gifted in office skills. Yet she refuses to find a job. She is eligible for food stamps and other medical assistance, yet she refuses to apply. I no longer wish to put up with this intolerable situation.
She lives with you. You say she is eligible for food stamps and medical assistance? How if you live in the same household? Do you eat meals together with her? If she is eligible, so would you be. Why haven't you applied?

Thus, what rights - if any - do I have to remove her from the house? The children are in my name on the birth certificate.
Birth certificates are NOT ownership documents.

I want to protect my rights, and if anything, have the upper hand here. We are both named on the lease by name, but the lease has converted to month-to-month years ago. However I am the sole wage earner. for 6.5 out of the 8 years. Can you think of any "legal" way for me to evict her from my residence? How can I protect myself from her taking my kids out of state? Is there a legal way for me to get a new place of residence AND take my kids with me?
You can give notice at the apartment to move. You can file for custody of the children in the appropriate court and request an order for them not to be removed from the jurisidiction until custody is decided.
You can recognize your contribution to the situation and the reality of the situation.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
what the flying monkey?

your first one is great....your second is what? excuse me?

go ahead. repeat that again.

tell mom to come online. i'd really like to talk to her.
 

Ghost.Rider

Junior Member
If you do it the right way.


So you KNEW she was deeply troubled and then you CHOSE to have not one, BUT TWO children. Only the first child is great and the second has autism according to you. So the second child is not great? You are ridiculous. You also have no comprehension of what causes autism and how YOU contributed to that, do you? Because what, you are PERFECT?



She lives with you. You say she is eligible for food stamps and medical assistance? How if you live in the same household? Do you eat meals together with her? If she is eligible, so would you be. Why haven't you applied?



Birth certificates are NOT ownership documents.



You can give notice at the apartment to move. You can file for custody of the children in the appropriate court and request an order for them not to be removed from the jurisidiction until custody is decided.
You can recognize your contribution to the situation and the reality of the situation.
WE are not married. She can apply and receive on her own. She has in the past.
 

Ghost.Rider

Junior Member
what the flying monkey?

your first one is great....your second is what? excuse me?

go ahead. repeat that again.

tell mom to come online. i'd really like to talk to her.
Obviously that one did not come out quite as intended.
Obviously, you are female.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
WE are not married. She can apply and receive on her own. She has in the past.
Is she a member of your household? That is a strict definition. If the definition is met, then she cannot apply "on her own." Well, not legally.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
WE are not married. She can apply and receive on her own. She has in the past.
Then she did so in the past illegally. Benefits are based on household income, not just the income of the person applying. It doesn't matter if you are married or not. The only way it might not matter is if you were purely roommates (did not share children together).
 
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