Dr. Appt. - His Time

[bononos]

What is the name of your state?
OH
I made an appt. for a well check-up and shots for son.
The appt. is on a day dad has him.
Dad is supposed to carry ins., does not, I do. Has never gone to an appt. nor even knows the name or location of doc, no has never asked.
After receiving the reschedule hearing papers for CS, he calls and insists I cannot pick up son for appt.
I said fine, you can take him, I'll meet you there.
He is now saying I can't be there.
We have joint custody. I AM GOING. I know all his medical history, he has never had concern for it.
Am I LEGALLY allowed to be there?

 

[stealth2]

You can be there. But you shouldn't be making appointments on his time.

 

[bononos]

You can be there. But you shouldn't be making appointments on his time.

Understandable, but I had scheduled and went to an earlier appt. on my time, I took his ins. card (he is reaponsible for) and when called on because he had a pediatrician son had NEVER been to as primary, it had expired in January of 2004.
I had to leave embarassed as I didn't have enough $$$ to pay without ins.
He did not bother to get the ins. updated.
Got my own insurance for him and rescheduled, so he is now greatly behind on his shots and this was the earliest available appt.
Should I maybe just call and see if there has been a cancellation on a close following date and they can take him then?
Thank You.

 

[CJane]

Understandable, but I had scheduled and went to an earlier appt. on my time, I took his ins. card (he is reaponsible for) and when called on because he had a pediatrician son had NEVER been to as primary, it had expired in January of 2004.
I had to leave embarassed as I didn't have enough $$$ to pay without ins.
He did not bother to get the ins. updated.
Got my own insurance for him and rescheduled, so he is now greatly behind on his shots and this was the earliest available appt.
Should I maybe just call and see if there has been a cancellation on a close following date and they can take him then?
Thank You.

Your area doesn't have a county health department that does free well child/vaccinations? Lack of funds is never a good excuse for missing these things. And, you shouldn't be making appointments on his time, regardless of the reasoning. It's incredibly presumptuous.

 

[bononos]

Your area doesn't have a county health department that does free well child/vaccinations?
***I assume they do, but I am not low income and also assume they are low-income based, I'll check for future refrence, but I did get an insurance plan myself now.***
Lack of funds is never a good excuse for missing these things. And, you shouldn't be making appointments on his time, regardless of the reasoning. It's incredibly presumptuous.

***It is very presumptuous, as I presume a child's health and care are more important than an hour of a visit to which he will be with child as well if he chooses to go to the appt. I am not keeping him from the appt.
Thank You for the thoughts.***

 

[stealth2]

So you'd have no problem if Dad started making appointments on your time? Be honest now.

 

[critterperson]

Your area doesn't have a county health department that does free well child/vaccinations? Lack of funds is never a good excuse for missing these things. And, you shouldn't be making appointments on his time, regardless of the reasoning. It's incredibly presumptuous.

I'm going to get jumped for this, but here it goes........If CP and NCP are supposed to be equal as everyone on this forum believes or strongly suggests.........Why can't the CP schedule an appointment on the NCP's time??? If you truly want to be a part of your child's life...........check-ups and doctors appointments are a part of parenting right??? You can't have it both ways, or is everyone implying that NCP's only want to be equal when it comes to play time with the children??? Food for thought............

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If he is supposed to provide medical insurance, an\nd doesn't, you file contempt charges and take him to court, you don't manipulate him for any purpose or agenda. There are plenty of places to obtain vaccinations and most doctors can make acute care appointments. It sounds like there is something else going on and he is not playing your game.

 

[stealth2]

Not at all. But neither CP nor NCP knows what the other may or may not have planned for any particular time, and it is thoughtless to simply assume that one (or the other) can make appointments and expect the other parent to not have other commitments at that time and that they'll simply comply.

(edit - in response to critter)

 

[CJane]

So you'd have no problem if Dad started making appointments on your time? Be honest now.

Exactly. I struggle with this with my ex all of the time. He continually makes appointments for the doctor/dentist/etc on my days because he assumes that it's easier for me to 'ditch work'. It's rude, presumptuous, and has NOTHING to do with my priorities in regards to the health of my children.

 

[CJane]

I'm going to get jumped for this, but here it goes........If CP and NCP are supposed to be equal as everyone on this forum believes or strongly suggests.........Why can't the CP schedule an appointment on the NCP's time??? If you truly want to be a part of your child's life...........check-ups and doctors appointments are a part of parenting right??? You can't have it both ways, or is everyone implying that NCP's only want to be equal when it comes to play time with the children??? Food for thought............

Umm, because it's rude? It has nothing to do with parenting time or equality. It has EVERYTHING to do with making the assumption that the other parent doesn't have anything else to do.

 

[critterperson]

Not at all. But neither CP nor NCP knows what the other may or may not have planned for any particular time, and it is thoughtless to simply assume that one (or the other) can make appointments and expect the other parent to not have other commitments at that time and that they'll simply comply.

I agree stealth2.........But admit it..... How many times have you made appointments for your children that weren't exactly convenient?
I can guess that you took them anyway, because it is your job as a parent to make sure that their health comes before your convenience ...................
Food for thought.............

 

[stealth2]

And I made them KNOWING that I would have to change things around in my own schedule. And sometimes I've changed them (edit - appointments) when something else has come up. That's my choice. I would never presume that Dad could just juggle things, nor would I expect him to make that assumption regarding my schedule.

Would it be nice if this Dad either made the time or allowed Mom to take the kid? Sure it would. But it would be just as nice if Mom contacted Dad prior to assuming he'd either take the kid or allow her to.

 

[bononos]

I'm going to get jumped for this, but here it goes........If CP and NCP are supposed to be equal as everyone on this forum believes or strongly suggests.........Why can't the CP schedule an appointment on the NCP's time??? If you truly want to be a part of your child's life...........check-ups and doctors appointments are a part of parenting right??? You can't have it both ways, or is everyone implying that NCP's only want to be equal when it comes to play time with the children??? Food for thought............

That is my thinking, but on the good advice of others, I just called and luckily they had an opening for the following day on my time so I rescheduled just to avoid the problem.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I agree stealth2.........But admit it..... How many times have you made appointments for your children that weren't exactly convenient?
I can guess that you took them anyway, because it is your job as a parent to make sure that their health comes before your convenience ...................
Food for thought.............

But in that case the person taking them made the decision to take them inconvenient or not. In OP's case they are making the decision for the other parent without their knowledge or consent, when they could have just as easily done something else. Also note that OP has suddenly dorpped out of this thread since no one agrees with her?
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