Dr. Appt. - His Time

[critterperson]

Umm, because it's rude? It has nothing to do with parenting time or equality. It has EVERYTHING to do with making the assumption that the other parent doesn't have anything else to do.

So....... basically you are saying that the doctors appoints should be made by the CP, executed by the CP, and make sure you don't infringe on the NCP??? Sounds like one sided parenting........Also, in this scenario, I think it was due to the NCP that the appointment needed to be rescheduled. (Lack of insurance) Sounds to me that it is the least this NCP can do is take the child to the rescheduled appointment. If the NCP hadn't screwed up in the first place CP would have already taken the child to the doctor............On the CP's time.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Also note that OP has suddenly dorpped out of this thread since no one agrees with her?
Fee, Fi, Foe, Fum
I detect the agends of a games playing mum

Sorry, I was posting at the same time, you did the right thing making the appointment on YOUR time, in the future, if an appointment must be scheduled on his time be sure to consult him first before making the appointment.

 

[casa]

That is my thinking, but on the good advice of others, I just called and luckily they had an opening for the following day on my time so I rescheduled just to avoid the problem.

I actually addressed this issue in court once. The judge was really irritated (NCP decided to suddenly be 'involved' and made appointments during my parenting time- in his city when I had 2 children in school on different schedules in my city- so I had to cancel the appt. & reschedule. Then the nuttyX said I was neglecting her health because the next avail. appt. was 2 weeks away ) The judge said that what we do during our own parenting time is up for us to decide ourselves, not for the other parent to infringe upon. Therefore we were both told to make appointments, activities, events etc. under our OWN parenting time.

I thought you might like to know what happened in one case. I know that no one situation is the same as another, but making appts on your time is really the way to avoid conflict.

 

[bononos]

But in that case the person taking them made the decision to take them inconvenient or not. In OP's case they are making the decision for the other parent without their knowledge or consent, when they could have just as easily done something else. Also note that OP has suddenly dorpped out of this thread since no one agrees with her?
Fee, Fi, Foe, Fum
I detect the agends of a games playing mum

Would you like to change your comment now?
I didn't know a kids health and care were considered a game.

 

[bononos]

I actually addressed this issue in court once. The judge was really irritated (NCP decided to suddenly be 'involved' and made appointments during my parenting time- in his city when I had 2 children in school on different schedules in my city- so I had to cancel the appt. & reschedule. Then the nuttyX said I was neglecting her health because the next avail. appt. was 2 weeks away ) The judge said that what we do during our own parenting time is up for us to decide ourselves, not for the other parent to infringe upon. Therefore we were both told to make appointments, activities, events etc. under our OWN parenting time.

I thought you might like to know what happened in one case. I know that no one situation is the same as another, but making appts on your time is really the way to avoid conflict.

Thanks, I'll avoid this in the future and just make sue to schedule the appt. on "my time". Better to avoid the battle then cause it.

 

[bononos]

Sorry, I was posting at the same time, you did the right thing making the appointment on YOUR time, in the future, if an appointment must be scheduled on his time be sure to consult him first before making the appointment.

Thank You. No hard feelings.
Acually I was on the phone.
It's good to see the side that you don't initially think about from you and others.
We (me and ex) have enough battles to make this an issue to add to it.

 

[stealth2]

So....... basically you are saying that the doctors appoints should be made by the CP, executed by the CP, and make sure you don't infringe on the NCP??? Sounds like one sided parenting........Also, in this scenario, I think it was due to the NCP that the appointment needed to be rescheduled. (Lack of insurance) Sounds to me that it is the least this NCP can do is take the child to the rescheduled appointment. If the NCP hadn't screwed up in the first place CP would have already taken the child to the doctor............On the CP's time.

You're either missing the plot or being deliberately argumentative. You don't find it the least bit interesting that "all of a sudden" there's an appointment available the following day on Mom's time?

And no, CP should not infringe on NCP's time any more than NCP should infringe on CP's time. It works both ways. ESPECIALLY when one knows the other is less than cooperative.

 

[CJane]

So....... basically you are saying that the doctors appoints should be made by the CP, executed by the CP, and make sure you don't infringe on the NCP??? Sounds like one sided parenting........Also, in this scenario, I think it was due to the NCP that the appointment needed to be rescheduled. (Lack of insurance) Sounds to me that it is the least this NCP can do is take the child to the rescheduled appointment. If the NCP hadn't screwed up in the first place CP would have already taken the child to the doctor............On the CP's time.

What I'm saying is that (in my case) my ex should NOT make appointments on my time without a couple of things happening. 1) Seeing if I can get off of work to take the kid. 2) Offering to take the kid to the appointment if I'm not going to be able to get out of work that day.

If I make appointments (and sometimes it's unavoidable that they take place on his days, as we have a 60/40 split and the kids spend a couple of days a week with each of us), I email him with the date/time/name of doc/location, and ALWAYS say "If that is inconvenient for you, please let me know so that I can either take them or ask my father to take them."

What I think most of us are saying is that it's NOT ok to just presume that the other parent has nothing at all scheduled. What if father has an important meeting that day? What if he's scheduled to have his car in the shop? What if HE has a dr appointment that day?

Yes, he should have been more flexible in allowing mom to take the child, but he's not obligated to sacrifice his parenting time so that SHE can honor appointments that SHE made during HIS time. And whether or not he carried insurance on the kid is irrelevant.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Would you like to change your comment now?
I didn't know a kids health and care were considered a game.

My statement still stands, it was re that you had left the thread, not the facts of the case. There is nothing in my statement to amend, just because you were finally convinced to do what was right doesn't change your original intent. You can use your children as pawns many ways and play games with words all you want, it doesn't change the facts.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thank You. No hard feelings.
Acually I was on the phone.
It's good to see the side that you don't initially think about from you and others.
We (me and ex) have enough battles to make this an issue to add to it.

They don't teach manners or Etiquette in school anymore, those of us who are older remember these things, as do the judges who will eventually resolve your disagreements with your ex, so better to learn it here and to mediate your parenting agreement between yourselves.

 

[critterperson]

Sorry........It's one of those days..........

sorry stealth2...........I think maybe I need to go back to bed, and wake up again.........

 

[critterperson]

What I'm saying is that (in my case) my ex should NOT make appointments on my time without a couple of things happening. 1) Seeing if I can get off of work to take the kid. 2) Offering to take the kid to the appointment if I'm not going to be able to get out of work that day.

If I make appointments (and sometimes it's unavoidable that they take place on his days, as we have a 60/40 split and the kids spend a couple of days a week with each of us), I email him with the date/time/name of doc/location, and ALWAYS say "If that is inconvenient for you, please let me know so that I can either take them or ask my father to take them."

What I think most of us are saying is that it's NOT ok to just presume that the other parent has nothing at all scheduled. What if father has an important meeting that day? What if he's scheduled to have his car in the shop? What if HE has a dr appointment that day?

Yes, he should have been more flexible in allowing mom to take the child, but he's not obligated to sacrifice his parenting time so that SHE can honor appointments that SHE made during HIS time. And whether or not he carried insurance on the kid is irrelevant.

I see your point...........I think I need more sleep today...........I'm in one of those moods I guess (crabby and argumentative)........forgive me...........

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I see your point...........I think I need more sleep today...........I'm in one of those moods I guess (crabby and argumentative)........forgive me...........

Cup of hot chocolate, apple fritter and a foot rub

 

[bononos]

Oh for the love of God, just shoot me!
I called and let him know I changed the appt.
His response, "Why so I can't effin go?"
I said it's fine if you want to meet us there.
Of course, I'm a B**** and trying to now keep him from the appointment.
I don't think anything I do can satisfy him.
Oh Well, It's kind of making me giggle it's so ridiculous.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Oh for the love of God, just shoot me!
I called and let him know I changed the appt.
His response, "Why so I can't effin go?"
I said it's fine if you want to meet us there.
Of course, I'm a B**** and trying to now keep him from the appointment.
I don't think anything I do can satisfy him.
Oh Well, It's kind of making me giggle it's so ridiculous.

You set yourself up for this. If you had originally asked him if the appointment on his time was ok and given him a chance to decide, then you would not have given him ammo.