e-mails

[mommyto 2]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
How seriously does the legal system (i.e. judges) take e-mails written by ex to describe events? My ex continues to write me e-mails summerizing events that have occured between us. They always make me look like the crazy and his memory is very selective and distorted. I do not respond, but I quess I am wondering if others will take his written account seriously.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Send this forum the judge's email address and copies of the ex's emails and we'll find out for you.

 

[mommyto 2]

Didn't mean to ask a stupid question - guess I just wanted some input.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And that's the point. No one can answer your question based on what you have posted.

The rules of evidence vary depending on what court system you're in, the judge and the relevance of the materials to the subject matter of the trial.

 

[mommyto 2]

So just because he puts a story in writting does not mean that will be the determing factor? The fact that there are many other issues (like mental illness) is also reviewed. Should I respond to the e-mails or just ignore them? I have choosen not to respond because my ex then starts up and it just becomes a spitting match. Any suggestions?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

So just because he puts a story in writting does not mean that will be the determing factor? The fact that there are many other issues (like mental illness) is also reviewed. Should I respond to the e-mails or just ignore them? I have choosen not to respond because my ex then starts up and it just becomes a spitting match. Any suggestions?

Any suggestions?

Yes, ignore the ex.

 

[mommyto 2]

Okay - I am trying, he is really wearing me down. This weekend it was him screaming at me at my son's science fair. Lots of people to see. He is the only person I know who can take a wonderful event and turn it into a nightmare. Just so you know he approached me and my friend and starting yelling that my daughter hates him.

 

[ceara19]

In exactly what manner would the emails be submitted to the court? Are YOU wanting to use them against HIM or is it the other way around?

 

[mommyto 2]

Him using his "stories" against me. He took me back to court before with many made up stories (i.e. I was a drug pusher, drinking, child abusing mother) he had no support or proof of any of these things and the judge dismissed them. I may add none are true but I am dealing with an ex with severe documented mental illness. So my concern is now he is writting his own version of truths and I wanted to know if they held any weight. I don't respond because these e-mails are a waste of time as far as I am concerned. I too, could write very creative stories but I choose not to play that game. Once again though my fear is that if he takes me back to court if one sided e-mails carry any weight?

 

[ceara19]

Him using his "stories" against me. He took me back to court before with many made up stories (i.e. I was a drug pusher, drinking, child abusing mother) he had no support or proof of any of these things and the judge dismissed them. I may add none are true but I am dealing with an ex with severe documented mental illness. So my concern is now he is writting his own version of truths and I wanted to know if they held any weight. I don't respond because these e-mails are a waste of time as far as I am concerned. I too, could write very creative stories but I choose not to play that game. Once again though my fear is that if he takes me back to court if one sided e-mails carry any weight?

In this case the emails will mean absolutely nothing in court. You didn't even respond, much less admit that what was contained in the emails was in any way true. Even when a person tries to use emails that they claim were written by the OTHER party, it's not always simple. Anyone can open a free email account using your information and a screen name that you would normally use. It's very difficult to PROVE where an email came from if it ever comes into question.

 

[mommyto 2]

Thank you for the reply, it makes me feel much better. I don't answer the e-mails because they are not worth my time, yet it really gets to me that he can produce so many lies. Also if I reply he then goes and writes dozens more (and I really mean dozens) that just produce more lies. It is never ending. I have never known anyone to be so mean and hateful.

 

[ceara19]

Thank you for the reply, it makes me feel much better. I don't answer the e-mails because they are not worth my time, yet it really gets to me that he can produce so many lies. Also if I reply he then goes and writes dozens more (and I really mean dozens) that just produce more lies. It is never ending. I have never known anyone to be so mean and hateful.

If the emails DO come up in court, as soon as he establishes the fact that he emails you, you can turn right around and submit copies of EVERY email to show a pattern of harassment and mental instability on his part.

 

[mommyto 2]

So the 200 plus e-mails I have may actually be in my favor? His month long e-mails from him and his wife over how to do laundry, his ongoing e-mail assualts on my parenting, etc, etc, etc... may actually help me? I could only hope that the fact all of my e-mails to him are just based on facts, such as when the children have doctor appointments and special events. Thanks again!

 

[Halls]

Yes, they can help you, just don't respond to the them! My sister got lots of e-mails like this and it was still his word against hers. Just cause he says things in his e-mails does not make them true!He has to have proof!!

 

[ceara19]

So the 200 plus e-mails I have may actually be in my favor? His month long e-mails from him and his wife over how to do laundry, his ongoing e-mail assualts on my parenting, etc, etc, etc... may actually help me? I could only hope that the fact all of my e-mails to him are just based on facts, such as when the children have doctor appointments and special events. Thanks again!

Yep! Save them all and print a copy to bring to court. Not only does it show a pattern of harassment, depending on what the emails say, they can work to your advantage in many ways. Go through them before court and highlight any type of threats he has made. You might also be able to use them to impeach his testimony if he contradicts himself.