Emancipation in NJ

[stealth2]

The legal remedy that is appropriate here is for the OP to petition the court to terminate the mother's visitation rights. Everything else is a bunch of incompetent blah blah.

He apparently doesn't even need to do that, as it seems there is no order for parenting time. Or custody.

 

[njsingledad]

I'm going to be brutally honest here. 17 years of abuse and you did pretty much nothing until a year ago. Without an order for custody/parenting time/support? You've got bupkis. Sorry.

If you felt your lawyer wasn't looking out for your or your daughter's best interests? The solution was simple - fire him/her and retain a different lawyer. As for the car situation? You allowed yourself to be sucked into the deal. Frankly, as much bu your daughter as your "ex". Are you two actually divorced? How did that happen w/o a court order for custody/parenting time?

And yes, your daughter needs to learn coping skills. Sorry.

You sure are good at assumptions. What makes you think I knew about all this. My daughter grew up thinking that was how it was supposed to be. I work long hours and did not know what was going on when I was not home. I did not learn of any sort of abuse until my daughter turned 13. Initially I dismissed it as teenaged angst but gradually grew more concerned and had several interventions with the mother. I gave her mother her final warning prior to the 3 year mark.

We divorced in November of 2016. The custody agreement from the divorce had my ex as the full time custodial parent allowing me just some parenting time one day every other weekend. When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation. I hired an attorney to memorialize everything,,,but I hired one who evidently has some kind of connection to my ex and she has been giving me a run around for 8 months. I have finally accepted the fact I have lost over $7K to this attorney for nothing and am going to start from scratch with who I pray will be a proper choice.

 

[njsingledad]

Were they ever married? The lack of white space kind of blinded me.

We were married from June 16, 2000 through November 6, 2016.

 

[stealth2]

You sure are good at assumptions. What makes you think I knew about all this. My daughter grew up thinking that was how it was supposed to be. I work long hours and did not know what was going on when I was not home. I did not learn of any sort of abuse until my daughter turned 13. Initially I dismissed it as teenaged angst but gradually grew more concerned and had several interventions with the mother. I gave her mother her final warning prior to the 3 year mark.

We divorced in November of 2016. The custody agreement from the divorce had my ex as the full time custodial parent allowing me just some parenting time one day every other weekend. When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation. I hired an attorney to memorialize everything,,,but I hired one who evidently has some kind of connection to my ex and she has been giving me a run around for 8 months. I have finally accepted the fact I have lost over $7K to this attorney for nothing and am going to start from scratch with who I pray will be a proper choice.

Oh my. Hate to tell you, but you are still culpable for what your child has endured. You chose to cede parenting to your ex.

And.... if there is no order giving you custody? Mom is within her rights to enforce her *ordered* custodial time until/unless the court orders otherwise. Is that what you want?

 

[Zigner]

About one year ago today. I had to take over full time custody of my daughter because my daughter "feared for her life" and otherwise was going to run away with her boyfriend. The emotional and physical abuse that woman has put her child through is criminal. Question, one year later, can I press charges for domestic violence?

At first, you said that your daughter "... suffered through a lifetime of emotional abuse from her mother." Now, you are saying that she has endured "... emotional and physical abuse ..." from her mother. Tell me - what did the authorities say when you reported this physical abuse? What did the doctor(s) say when you had your daughter examined for her injuries? Did the doctor(s) file a report with CPS, as they are required to do?

 

[njsingledad]

Oh my. Hate to tell you, but you are still culpable for what your child has endured. You chose to cede parenting to your ex.

And.... if there is no order giving you custody? Mom is within her rights to enforce her *ordered* custodial time until/unless the court orders otherwise. Is that what you want?

Again, the assumptions. I did not choose, I was bullied. My daughter was also being nasty and disrespectful to me from the ages of 8-13 thanks to her mom's brainwashing. I cried myself to sleep every night for years before and after the divorce. I am sorry I am not a powerful alpha macho man like you, my ex broke me (in every way imaginable) I love my daughter more than anyone could imagine. Have you any clue how heartbreaking it is when your 8 year old princess starts telling you off, calling you a loser, lazy, stupid, worthless and question every decision I made -just mimicking her mother. You cannot measure the level of depression I was driven to. I will put the last 20 years of my life up against nearly anyone's nightmare marriage and divorce story.

If I had a choice, I would avoid at all costs having my daughter and myself see that woman ever again. The sticky part is we co-own the marital home which needs to be sold - the ex is not reimbursing me for any home repairs nor RE tax and had rejected my demand to sell. She also owes me $49K - her share of the mortgage I paid off. My attorney has been a nightmare, stringing me along with snippets of hope offset with extreme order for me to force my daughter to see her mother. This attorney has not done one thing for me.

 

[stealth2]

Again, the assumptions. I did not choose, I was bullied. My daughter was also being nasty and disrespectful to me from the ages of 8-13 thanks to her mom's brainwashing. I cried myself to sleep every night for years before and after the divorce. I am sorry I am not a powerful alpha macho man like you, my ex broke me (in every way imaginable) I love my daughter more than anyone could imagine. Have you any clue how heartbreaking it is when your 8 year old princess starts telling you off, calling you a loser, lazy, stupid, worthless and question every decision I made -just mimicking her mother. You cannot measure the level of depression I was driven to. I will put the last 20 years of my life up against nearly anyone's nightmare marriage and divorce story.

If I had a choice, I would avoid at all costs having my daughter and myself see that woman ever again. The sticky part is we co-own the marital home which needs to be sold - the ex is not reimbursing me for any home repairs nor RE tax and had rejected my demand to sell. She also owes me $49K - her share of the mortgage I paid off. My attorney has been a nightmare, stringing me along with snippets of hope offset with extreme order for me to force my daughter to see her mother. This attorney has not done one thing for me.

Sigh.... Nope - you chose to allow the treatment. Just as I did when my (ex) husband treated me that way (surprise! I'm not an alpha-male!) - until I chose not to - because I wanted my daughters to see a better example.

Again - don't like your lawyer? Get a new one. There are plenty in our fine state. And 7k is nothing.

 

[Just Blue]

Oh my. Hate to tell you, but you are still culpable for what your child has endured. You chose to cede parenting to your ex.

And.... if there is no order giving you custody? Mom is within her rights to enforce her *ordered* custodial time until/unless the court orders otherwise. Is that what you want?

Which is likely the reason, (rather than evilly working against his/her client because of some alleged ethereal connection to mom), that OP's attorney recommended that OP allow the one day/night EOW visits with Mom. The attorney knows that
Mom could enforce the only court order that exists at this time.

 

[njsingledad]

Which is likely the reason, (rather than evilly working against his/her client because of some alleged ethereal connection to mom), that OP's attorney recommended that OP allow the one day/night EOW visits with Mom. The attorney knows that
Mom could enforce the only court order that exists at this time.

Not so sure about that. At he time I kicked my ex out I obtained a court order (that the ex signed off on) that grants me sole physical custody of the dependent child.

 

[not2cleverRed]

We divorced in November of 2016. The custody agreement from the divorce had my ex as the full time custodial parent allowing me just some parenting time one day every other weekend. When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation. I hired an attorney to memorialize everything,,,but I hired one who evidently has some kind of connection to my ex and she has been giving me a run around for 8 months. I have finally accepted the fact I have lost over $7K to this attorney for nothing and am going to start from scratch with who I pray will be a proper choice.

The lawyer knows that absent a judges signature on a court order, the arrangement from the divorce decree stands: Mom can pick up kid at any time. The lawyer is advising you to play nice until you have a court order. There is nothing sinister in that.

Absent (legal) PROOF of child abuse, you have no legal leg to stand on denying Mom parenting time. Dissing Mom will only make you look bad. You chose her to be your spouse and chose her to create a child with.

What you DO have in your favor is status quo.

Emancipation. Is. Not. Possible. The kid is not supporting herself and she's living with you. Sell the friggin' car. You can't afford it.

Where did the "emancipation" idea come from? Your 17 year old? The 17 year old with no college plans and no vocational skills? (I mean, unless being manipulative counts.)

 

[not2cleverRed]

Not so sure about that. At he time I kicked my ex out I obtained a court order (that the ex signed off on) that grants me sole physical custody of the dependent child.

Hunh?

When was this? Because you stated in post #17 that in the 2016 divorce decree that your ex was the one that got physical custody.

 

[FlyingRon]

The truth of the matter is the court is not going to entertain emancipation as an end around the other custody/support rules. They just aren't going to listen to such arguments. As stated, the only time that emancipation is noted is when the child is living independently from either one of you. The only time its an issue in the court is when there's a support order that shouldn't be applied because there's no "custody" by either parent.

If you want to force something by the legal system, you have to do it the right way. And the right way is for you to sit down with an attorney who can advise and represent you.

 

[njsingledad]

Hunh?

When was this? Because you stated in post #17 that in the 2016 divorce decree that your ex was the one that got physical custody.

Hunh?

When was this? Because you stated in post #17 that in the 2016 divorce decree that your ex was the one that got physical custody.

Yes that is true, but you missed this part of post 17:

When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation.

That motion was signed off by a judge and the judge in his own words deemed the change in circumstance as "permanent".

 

[LdiJ]

Yes that is true, but you missed this part of post 17:

When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation.

That motion was signed off by a judge and the judge in his own words deemed the change in circumstance as "permanent".

You should have been clearer about that earlier in the thread. It changes things. Is mom's visitation part of that court order?

 

[stealth2]

Yes that is true, but you missed this part of post 17:

When I took over custody on March 1, 2020 I filed a motion with the court establishing myself as the full time custodial parent and ceasing my child support obligation.

That motion was signed off by a judge and the judge in his own words deemed the change in circumstance as "permanent".

There is a difference between filing a motion and getting a judge's signature on an order. The above is the first time you mention a judge signing off.