estoppel of paternity?

[angeleyzad]

other issues created because of this

The other issue that this mess has created is the separation of the 2 boys - the older is always with my sister, the younger still does the week on, week off thing (which has not been working since it started). My sister is asking for modification to have primary custody (time) with him getting every other weekend, he is asking for the same thing, he has the youngest full time with my sister having every other weekend. It causes many issues between the 2 brothers when they're home with my sister.

 

[angeleyzad]

Okay, okay. OP specifically asked for no drama.


OP: I don't think we can help you. But, like I said, I'm still trying to figure out why this will end up making some type of difference, since it seems to me (based on your posts), that the only issue is money, unless I'm missing something.

Obviously, the mother will have some explaining to do ANYWAY, since the X only picks up his bio-child at visitation time.

Edited to add:
OP: I didn't see your response, before this. Understand that his mother made him fatherless. Just say, for the sake of argument, that X did not agree to be the legal father at the time of the divorce. MOM put the child in this situation, not X. X just didn't realize the enormity of the situation. Now, maybe he can't get out of it. But, he can open his big mouth to CHILD, and tell him what's going on. MOM is going to have to answer for this eventually. AND she really does need to be collecting child support from somewhere.

Exactly - the time has come that she is going to be telling my nephew about his paternity (before he does), but it still does not stop the fact that this man has been his father in all sense of the term for the past 12 years, plus for the first 6 months of the divorce (there was no issue until my nephew started acting out again, because of the issues of the father not giving him his meds). Now, all of a sudden, he can't handle my nephew, and does not want to be responsible for him, when he's been responsible for him for the past 12 years. That is the part that we are all having a hard time with.

The father has supported my nephew for the past 12 years, which is where the issue lies - with my nephew's medical problems, he needs the support of both parents. (it's been 13 years, so there is no chance of finding the bio father.)

 

[moburkes]

Exactly - the time has come that she is going to be telling my nephew about his paternity (before he does), but it still does not stop the fact that this man has been his father in all sense of the term for the past 12 years, plus for the first 6 months of the divorce (there was no issue until my nephew started acting out again, because of the issues of the father not giving him his meds). Now, all of a sudden, he can't handle my nephew, and does not want to be responsible for him, when he's been responsible for him for the past 12 years. That is the part that we are all having a hard time with.

The father has supported my nephew for the past 12 years, which is where the issue lies - with my nephew's medical problems, he needs the support of both parents. (it's been 13 years, so there is no chance of finding the bio father.)

Don't say there's NO chance, your sister just needs to think harder. Did these medical problems just now surface? X didn't have to give him meds before?

 

[angeleyzad]

Don't say there's NO chance, your sister just needs to think harder. Did these medical problems just now surface? X didn't have to give him meds before?

My nephew has been on meds for a long time, this is nothing new. They have tried him on many different meds to find the right combo for him, to allow him to function properly in school and out. He does very well when he is on his meds, but you can tell when he's not on them. He's been very destructive, very violent, and talks about hurting himself and my sister because of the med issue - his father drilled into him that he did not need meds, and would dump them down the toilet when he was going for the week on/week off visitation. Now with school out, the doctors do not want him on the meds to give him a break, but the issues that his father put into his head are still there. It sucks.

 

[moburkes]

My nephew has been on meds for a long time, this is nothing new. They have tried him on many different meds to find the right combo for him, to allow him to function properly in school and out. He does very well when he is on his meds, but you can tell when he's not on them. He's been very destructive, very violent, and talks about hurting himself and my sister because of the med issue - his father drilled into him that he did not need meds, and would dump them down the toilet when he was going for the week on/week off visitation. Now with school out, the doctors do not want him on the meds to give him a break, but the issues that his father put into his head are still there. It sucks.

Sounds like he is better off not spending time with X, who will not dispense meds, and who is mean.

 

[angeleyzad]

To answer your other question...

I know, that's the truth, though. She had been set up with one man, who she did not know - that was the truth about it. It was something that happened at a very low point in her life.

There is no chance of knowing who this man is or where he may be now - this was 12 years ago. This was the only other possibility for a bio father, which by default, probably is, since the others were not. So as I said, there's no chance fo finding him.

 

[angeleyzad]

Sounds like he is better off not spending time with X, who will not dispense meds, and who is mean.

My sister is asking for full custody with him having every other weekend, of both boys - to keep them together, and this way, there won't be as much of an issue. He still needs to be responsible for him, though, even if it is monitarily.