Evidence provided about a third party during a case related to my previous divorce.

[needtoknow23]

Ok.. so today, I had a hearing in family court to determine if my ex wife (the petitioner) would be granted approval to move out of state with my son. During the hearing I was asked if I was acquainted with a third party who happens to be a close friend. This person has had previous charges obviously unrelated to my divorce case. That being said, I fear that my ex wife's counsel likely put something in the file that pointed to this person's past record, or maybe even assumptions about his present status. Truth is, he has turned his life around, but coincidentally he learned that a police car was parked outside of his residence about 5 hours after my hearing ended. They shined a spot light in his yard. He's of course concerned, as am I, that he could be harassed by police on the basis of her attorney supplying speculative information to the courts. Can anyone enlighten me on this situation? Would it be possible for the courts, or essentially the police, to pursue a third party mentioned during the petition for removal? My ex wife was petitioning to remove my son out of state, and I was contesting it. The third party that was mentioned was undoubtedly an effort to associate me with someone who has a past record, and I assume there was speculation as to his present activities. There's absolutely nothing new that they could have on this individual that wouldn't be hearsay. And whatever the hearsay is, they're wrong at that, unless they hearsay that he has righted his life.. Any advice on this situation? Thanks in advance!! My friend is losing sleep over it and has a small child. He doesn't want her or his older daughter to get the wrong impression or feel that they are being imposed on by any police presence. Please help if you can!

 

[needtoknow23]

Ok.. so today, I had a hearing in family court to determine if my ex wife (the petitioner) would be granted approval to move out of state with my son. During the hearing I was asked if I was acquainted with a third party who happens to be a close friend. This person has had previous charges obviously unrelated to my divorce case. That being said, I fear that my ex wife's counsel likely put something in the file that pointed to this person's past record, or maybe even assumptions about his present status. Truth is, he has turned his life around, but coincidentally he learned that a police car was parked outside of his residence about 5 hours after my hearing ended. They shined a spot light in his yard. He's of course concerned, as am I, that he could be harassed by police on the basis of her attorney supplying speculative information to the courts. Can anyone enlighten me on this situation? Would it be possible for the courts, or essentially the police, to pursue a third party mentioned during the petition for removal? My ex wife was petitioning to remove my son out of state, and I was contesting it. The third party that was mentioned was undoubtedly an effort to associate me with someone who has a past record, and I assume there was speculation as to his present activities. There's absolutely nothing new that they could have on this individual that wouldn't be hearsay. And whatever the hearsay is, they're wrong at that, unless they hearsay that he has righted his life.. Any advice on this situation? Thanks in advance!! My friend is losing sleep over it and has a small child. He doesn't want her or his older daughter to get the wrong impression or feel that they are being imposed on by any police presence. Please help if you can!

I should add that my friend was traveling back home from out of state. He drove to another state to pick up his young daughter who was spending time with her grandmother. When he returned home, his dog was missing from his back yard. He thinks it's possible that a neighbor may have spotted the dog and called police to investigate. It seems like a coincidence, but who knows? Thanks again to anyone who can offer advice.

 

[Proserpina]

Ok.. so today, I had a hearing in family court to determine if my ex wife (the petitioner) would be granted approval to move out of state with my son. During the hearing I was asked if I was acquainted with a third party who happens to be a close friend. This person has had previous charges obviously unrelated to my divorce case. That being said, I fear that my ex wife's counsel likely put something in the file that pointed to this person's past record, or maybe even assumptions about his present status. Truth is, he has turned his life around, but coincidentally he learned that a police car was parked outside of his residence about 5 hours after my hearing ended. They shined a spot light in his yard. He's of course concerned, as am I, that he could be harassed by police on the basis of her attorney supplying speculative information to the courts. Can anyone enlighten me on this situation? Would it be possible for the courts, or essentially the police, to pursue a third party mentioned during the petition for removal? My ex wife was petitioning to remove my son out of state, and I was contesting it. The third party that was mentioned was undoubtedly an effort to associate me with someone who has a past record, and I assume there was speculation as to his present activities. There's absolutely nothing new that they could have on this individual that wouldn't be hearsay. And whatever the hearsay is, they're wrong at that, unless they hearsay that he has righted his life.. Any advice on this situation? Thanks in advance!! My friend is losing sleep over it and has a small child. He doesn't want her or his older daughter to get the wrong impression or feel that they are being imposed on by any police presence. Please help if you can!

Let's cut right to the chase, if you don't mind?

What exactly is your relationship with this person, and why would his background be a possible issue?

 

[single317dad]

The correct answer is "irrelevant". Do you have an attorney?

 

[Zigner]

The CORRECT answer is...how the heck would WE know?

 

[single317dad]

I said that meaning "irrelevant" should have been OP's response to opposing counsel's digging, not as a correction to anyone else's answer. I can see how my phrasing may have been ambiguous, though.

 

[I'mTheFather]

The CORRECT answer is...how the heck would WE know?

Using a specific combination of divining rod, magic 8 ball, tarot cards, and tea leaves, I have uncovered the answer to OP's queries. However, this answer is only correct for 3 of the 50 states.

So, yeah, how the heck would WE know?

 

[needtoknow23]

You know, I'm a reasonably intelligent person, but I'm sorry.. I'm not really following the replies here. I guess I was looking for a straight forward answer to a curvy question. I just assumed that any information her attorney supplied could not be used to pursue the third party. Ultimately, all they could have submitted to the file would have been his criminal record. Anything else would be strictly hearsay or circumstantial. I'm sure that the sole intent was just to show me having ties with a person who has a record, but he's just concerned that he'll be harassed now. He's especially concerned that he arrived home to find the police had been spotlighting his yard. I assume that has to be unrelated, he lives in another state. Just hoping to ease his concerns. Thanks for your replies.

 

[Silverplum]

You know, I'm a reasonably intelligent person, but I'm sorry.. I'm not really following the replies here. I guess I was looking for a straight forward answer to a curvy question. I just assumed that any information her attorney supplied could not be used to pursue the third party. Ultimately, all they could have submitted to the file would have been his criminal record. Anything else would be strictly hearsay or circumstantial. I'm sure that the sole intent was just to show me having ties with a person who has a record, but he's just concerned that he'll be harassed now. He's especially concerned that he arrived home to find the police had been spotlighting his yard. I assume that has to be unrelated, he lives in another state. Just hoping to ease his concerns. Thanks for your replies.

Curvy is not straight, is it?

Answer the questions, if you want help.

 

[needtoknow23]

Curvy is not straight, is it?

Answer the questions, if you want help.

No, it's definitely not, that was my point. I meant no offense. Most of the replies are going over my head. Let me try to address the questions. The state is IL. Sorry, I should have included that to begin with. Yes, I do have an attorney, and he did not object to the questioning. As for my relationship with the person, we are close friends, and we work on graphic design together. I don't condone his past activities, nor have I participated in them, nor has he ever done anything criminal in my presence. He was arrested several years ago with a large amount of marijuana tucked in the wheel wells of a van. His background couldn't really be an issue per se, but now that he's changed his ways, he certainly doesn't want police shining his house or watching him at work and risking his employment. I hope I've addressed all the questions. Sorry the OP was unclear. I'm really not in the best place right now. My main concern is my child. It seems the judge will likely allow the move, and I'm devastated. His mother and stepfather have a history with meth, and they have always interfered with my relationship with my son. They've never fostered our relationship. Family law makes me ill.. the judge has the discretion, yet says he must fallow the statutes based on old cases. The system is so antiquated. It's like what's the point of all the testimony if it all boils down to my not technically having a veto right to prevent the removal, and within the 5 factors of the Escher (sp?) case, it does not technically cite "the child's best interest." though it is cited somewhere else in the case file. That's all really above my head, and seems like nonsense to me. When will common sense and real discretion take priority over brushing the dust off of some completely unrelated old case!!! Sorry, I'm just having the worst couple of days of my life. I just want to know if my friend has anything to worry about. Looks like I'll have a custody battle on my hands. The judge is still considering everything, but it really doesn't sound good. Maybe he will surprise me. Either way, I will never vote to retain another judge again. If the judge doesn't know that it's a bad idea to let a couple of meth heads move out of state with my child, then he's about the only one in the county. The stepdad has more ties to felons than I could ever dream up as well as a past record of theft.. he lost his job after his arrest, and that's what caused him to "turn his life around", go to school, and get a job in telecom almost assuring that he'd never be able to get a job in the local area, as it is widely known that it's next to impossible. So, he accepted a job 5 hours away for 38,000. Now because of some ridiculous technicality, it appears they will get away with stripping my son out of my life.. might as well be cutting off my air.

 

[Proserpina]

No, it's definitely not, that was my point. I meant no offense. Most of the replies are going over my head. Let me try to address the questions. The state is IL. Sorry, I should have included that to begin with. Yes, I do have an attorney, and he did not object to the questioning. As for my relationship with the person, we are close friends, and we work on graphic design together. I don't condone his past activities, nor have I participated in them, nor has he ever done anything criminal in my presence. He was arrested several years ago with a large amount of marijuana tucked in the wheel wells of a van. His background couldn't really be an issue per se, but now that he's changed his ways, he certainly doesn't want police shining his house or watching him at work and risking his employment. I hope I've addressed all the questions. Sorry the OP was unclear. I'm really not in the best place right now. My main concern is my child. It seems the judge will likely allow the move, and I'm devastated. His mother and stepfather have a history with meth, and they have always interfered with my relationship with my son. They've never fostered our relationship. Family law makes me ill.. the judge has the discretion, yet says he must fallow the statutes based on old cases. The system is so antiquated. It's like what's the point of all the testimony if it all boils down to my not technically having a veto right to prevent the removal, and within the 5 factors of the Escher (sp?) case, it does not technically cite "the child's best interest." though it is cited somewhere else in the case file. That's all really above my head, and seems like nonsense to me. When will common sense and real discretion take priority over brushing the dust off of some completely unrelated old case!!! Sorry, I'm just having the worst couple of days of my life. I just want to know if my friend has anything to worry about. Looks like I'll have a custody battle on my hands. The judge is still considering everything, but it really doesn't sound good. Maybe he will surprise me. Either way, I will never vote to retain another judge again. If the judge doesn't know that it's a bad idea to let a couple of meth heads move out of state with my child, then he's about the only one in the county. The stepdad has more ties to felons than I could ever dream up as well as a past record of theft.. he lost his job after his arrest, and that's what caused him to "turn his life around", go to school, and get a job in telecom almost assuring that he'd never be able to get a job in the local area, as it is widely known that it's next to impossible. So, he accepted a job 5 hours away for 38,000. Now because of some ridiculous technicality, it appears they will get away with stripping my son out of my life.. might as well be cutting off my air.

That discretion you're talking about? It goes both ways.

But get your attorney to do some work for you; in your state the burden of proof is on Mom to show the move is in the child's best interests. If she's as bad as you're making out this should be a no brainer.

Is there more to the story?

 

[Just Blue]

No, it's definitely not, that was my point. I meant no offense. Most of the replies are going over my head. Let me try to address the questions. The state is IL.


Sorry, I should have included that to begin with. Yes, I do have an attorney, and he did not object to the questioning. As for my relationship with the person, we are close friends, and we work on graphic design together. I don't condone his past activities, nor have I participated in them, nor has he ever done anything criminal in my presence. He was arrested several years ago with a large amount of marijuana tucked in the wheel wells of a van. His background couldn't really be an issue per se, but now that he's changed his ways, he certainly doesn't want police shining his house or watching him at work and risking his employment.


I hope I've addressed all the questions. Sorry the OP was unclear. I'm really not in the best place right now. My main concern is my child. It seems the judge will likely allow the move, and I'm devastated. His mother and stepfather have a history with meth, and they have always interfered with my relationship with my son. They've never fostered our relationship. Family law makes me ill.. the judge has the discretion, yet says he must fallow the statutes based on old cases. The system is so antiquated. It's like what's the point of all the testimony if it all boils down to my not technically having a veto right to prevent the removal, and within the 5 factors of the Escher (sp?) case, it does not technically cite "the child's best interest." though it is cited somewhere else in the case file. That's all really above my head, and seems like nonsense to me. When will common sense and real discretion take priority over brushing the dust off of some completely unrelated old case!!! Sorry, I'm just having the worst couple of days of my life. I just want to know if my friend has anything to worry about. Looks like I'll have a custody battle on my hands.


The judge is still considering everything, but it really doesn't sound good. Maybe he will surprise me. Either way, I will never vote to retain another judge again. If the judge doesn't know that it's a bad idea to let a couple of meth heads move out of state with my child, then he's about the only one in the county. The stepdad has more ties to felons than I could ever dream up as well as a past record of theft.. he lost his job after his arrest, and that's what caused him to "turn his life around", go to school, and get a job in telecom almost assuring that he'd never be able to get a job in the local area, as it is widely known that it's next to impossible.

So, he accepted a job 5 hours away for 38,000. Now because of some ridiculous technicality, it appears they will get away with stripping my son out of my life.. might as well be cutting off my air.

Just tossing in some white space as it seem to be in short supply for OP and too may others lately.

 

[needtoknow23]

That discretion you're talking about? It goes both ways.

But get your attorney to do some work for you; in your state the burden of proof is on Mom to show the move is in the child's best interests. If she's as bad as you're making out this should be a no brainer.

Is there more to the story?

Maybe the judge will use discretion, but he didn't make it sound that way. He basically summed it up by saying he had to follow the statutes.. which really isn't the truth. He can rule either way. He's been a judge here for over 30 or 40 years. Seems to me that no matter how ****ty she is, if the statutes don't have verbiage that falls in my favor then I'm just screwed! Father's rights my ass! What was the point of the initial divorce decree in the first place? It doesn't protect me from anything!! Or him!! Our decree stated that we must be in mutual agreement about which school system he is enrolled in. They're not worth the paper they're printed on! She's in contempt of 90% of what is required in our divorce decree. She has implacable hostility bordering on malicious mother syndrome going on.. She got up on the stand and acted like she was the picture of a perfect mother... she has 3 kids including my sone with another one on the way.. for the last several years my son has lived on their front porch because I complained that he had to live in a room with his brother who is 6 years younger.. this was during a hearing for an order of protection against the stepdad after his meth arrest.. he was at a residence that had been under surveillance when it was raided.. his story is that someone through up a pipe in the air with meth in it.. and a bag of weed... he just happened to catch it!!!! Are you serious!!!? So now they'll be moving to a 3 bedroom house 1000 sq ft... with a family of 6.. do the math.. maybe he'll get lucky and they'll have a nice screened in porch again.. but hey.. their attorney went out of his way to make sure that they pledged to look into buying a big shiny house soon.. because with her on Wic, welfare, foodstamps.. the whole 9.. his $37,000 a year ought to really make it happen!!! I had one, and only one option for an attorney.. he was not the best choice by any means. There are a lot of things that I didn't get a chance to say to the judge and the counsel that I wish I could have. Not that I feel it would have mattered.. all that seems to matter to the judge are those statutes.. all I know is that my son and I have an amazing relationship, and this will be detrimental to that.. If he wouldn't have gotten arrested, he'd still be working at the job he had and this would be a non-issue. But, because he did and now can't find work around here, I have to suffer.. ultimately my son will have to suffer.. but they've told him that A.. there's more to do there... B.. He'll see me more... (not true in any sense.) and C.. If I really wanted to stay in his life I would move there!! I just spent my entire life savings opening a successful business where I'm at.. I've never been rich. I've been to college 3 times. I have a degree. I made my life here to be his father.. I could have gone elsewhere and done better for myself, but a boy needs his father in his life on a regular basis. I would have lived in a box to stay here and make sure he grows up to be a good man!! My wife has had her job for 7 years.. I was in the military.. I'm a war vet.. I have held down a job my entire life short of a period that I became sick, and when I went to school. I have paid my child support faithfully, even when I was not getting paid while out of work for a serious illness and while going to school. I pay as much for one child in child support as my friend who pays for three kids. This is destroying my faith in humanity. This is absurd. I'll just pray I'm up in arms over nothing and the judge comes to his senses, but honestly, the chances of that are slim. Jesus Christ somebody have a heart in this world!! I pray!!

 

[Silverplum]

We *really* are not a ranting site.

Maybe the judge will use discretion, but he didn't make it sound that way. He basically summed it up by saying he had to follow the statutes.. which really isn't the truth. He can rule either way. He's been a judge here for over 30 or 40 years. Seems to me that no matter how ****ty she is, if the statutes don't have verbiage that falls in my favor then I'm just screwed! Father's rights my ass! What was the point of the initial divorce decree in the first place? It doesn't protect me from anything!! Or him!! Our decree stated that we must be in mutual agreement about which school system he is enrolled in. They're not worth the paper they're printed on! She's in contempt of 90% of what is required in our divorce decree. She has implacable hostility bordering on malicious mother syndrome going on.. She got up on the stand and acted like she was the picture of a perfect mother... she has 3 kids including my sone with another one on the way.. for the last several years my son has lived on their front porch because I complained that he had to live in a room with his brother who is 6 years younger.. this was during a hearing for an order of protection against the stepdad after his meth arrest.. he was at a residence that had been under surveillance when it was raided.. his story is that someone through up a pipe in the air with meth in it.. and a bag of weed... he just happened to catch it!!!! Are you serious!!!? So now they'll be moving to a 3 bedroom house 1000 sq ft... with a family of 6.. do the math.. maybe he'll get lucky and they'll have a nice screened in porch again.. but hey.. their attorney went out of his way to make sure that they pledged to look into buying a big shiny house soon.. because with her on Wic, welfare, foodstamps.. the whole 9.. his $37,000 a year ought to really make it happen!!! I had one, and only one option for an attorney.. he was not the best choice by any means. There are a lot of things that I didn't get a chance to say to the judge and the counsel that I wish I could have. Not that I feel it would have mattered.. all that seems to matter to the judge are those statutes.. all I know is that my son and I have an amazing relationship, and this will be detrimental to that.. If he wouldn't have gotten arrested, he'd still be working at the job he had and this would be a non-issue. But, because he did and now can't find work around here, I have to suffer.. ultimately my son will have to suffer.. but they've told him that A.. there's more to do there... B.. He'll see me more... (not true in any sense.) and C.. If I really wanted to stay in his life I would move there!! I just spent my entire life savings opening a successful business where I'm at.. I've never been rich. I've been to college 3 times. I have a degree. I made my life here to be his father.. I could have gone elsewhere and done better for myself, but a boy needs his father in his life on a regular basis. I would have lived in a box to stay here and make sure he grows up to be a good man!! My wife has had her job for 7 years.. I was in the military.. I'm a war vet.. I have held down a job my entire life short of a period that I became sick, and when I went to school. I have paid my child support faithfully, even when I was not getting paid while out of work for a serious illness and while going to school. I pay as much for one child in child support as my friend who pays for three kids. This is destroying my faith in humanity. This is absurd. I'll just pray I'm up in arms over nothing and the judge comes to his senses, but honestly, the chances of that are slim. Jesus Christ somebody have a heart in this world!! I pray!!

 

[needtoknow23]

We *really* are not a ranting site.

Nor was that a rant.. merely the exact truth, but I guess that nobody cares anywhere... the truth is.. this is not a helpful site either.. so I don't care if you don't like my "rant!" You think any of that is fair to me or my son.. I tell you what.. here's something that I do know about the law.. freedom of speech.. if you don't like what I have to say.. if you don't like me trying to make a statement about father's rights.. then take your narrow minded unproductive self somewhere that hateful shallow people gather. I'm disgusted with selfish people.. if you don't have anything productive to add to the conversation then just stay out of it!!