Ex-girlfriend filed false police complaints

[airbornedoc]

What is the name of your state? Florida

I am physician and single father. My ex girlfriend used to search the parking lots for my car, go thru me cell phone, and go into my office and search my personal things when I wasn't there. I have witnesses who have written notarized statements confirming this. In late December I discovered she had stolen my email password and for the prior six months had been transferring my emails into her email account. I have proof of this. On May 5 I threw her out of my house b/c I caught her cheating. For three days she tried to beg her way back in and I kept saying leave me alone. I have copies of all of her emails and mine that confirm I am telling her to leave me alone. On day #4 she went to the police and filed complaints, under oath, that I was pulling loaded guns on her, I put gps units on ex girlfriends cars, I threatened to kill her and her boyfriend, I threatened suicide, my children were in danger, I was following her. Two days later she tried to get a restraining order against me. I had already cut off all contact with her, figuring out she was a whackjob. All of her statements were false. Then I discovered she put a spy program on my home computer, work computer, and my sons computer, and created a spy account on my cell phone so she can read all of my text messages. I discovered she was seeing a psychologist a few years ago so I called him. He told me she is vindictive and dangerous. She is probably a histrionic personality disordered woman, notorious for getting revenge when they are rejected. The police exceptionally closed the investigation. One detective said "this was garbage, she is nuts!" What can I do about her false complaints to the police?

 

[quincy]

The police have already closed the investigation saying she is nuts and the charges were garbage - so nothing she said was believed. I think there is nothing left to do about the false complaints to the police because they already KNOW they are false.

There really isn't slander if no one believes it and, other than the aggravation she has caused you, I don't see that there have been damages suffered by you from any defamation. Plus, if you are dealing with a mentally unstable person anyway (I am surprised her doctor revealed medical information to you, by the way), AND are trying to AVOID contact with her, a defamation case can last a long time (not to mention they are expensive) and the case would keep you in contact with her for quite a while.

At any rate, you really don't have a defamation case that I can see.

On everything else she's done, however, I will let the attorneys on this forum advise you.

 

[airbornedoc]

She is telling people I abused her and am stalking her. This isn't true. I had to take a leave of absence from one of my part-time jobs where she works because she threatened me with a restraining order if I go there. I actually got her her job there. So far she has cost me thousands of dollars plus now it is public record that she says I pull loaded guns on people. This is a small town. In addition, she still reads my text messages and monitors my cell phone calls with her spy account and verizon demands a subpeona to show me where my messages are sent to, which I'm sure is her email address. I went to the police to file a complaint and they told me to change the password on the account or phone number. She has hacker friends and verizon said she has already re-entered the account after I changed the password.

 

[quincy]

Quite frankly, I am puzzled.

You are a physician WITH a part-time job, and you had to leave this part-time job because your crazy ex-girlfriend works there (and you were the one who got her the job). Couldn't you just have her fired?? Why is she able to even CONTEMPLATE getting a restraining order against you and why are you not just going to work anyway, knowing the police thinks she is nuts and won't issue a restraining order?
You lived with her for one year, and continued living with her 5 months AFTER you found out she had stolen your email password and was transferring your emails into her account. You say the police dismissed her charges because she was nuts (which you were able to confirm because HER physician gave YOU her confidential medical information) and yet somehow it is public record that you pulled guns on her?
The police advised you to change passwords and yet she has friends who are so good at hacking that they have been able to discover your new passwords? Who are these friends? Are they the same ones who put spyware on your work computer, your home computer, your son's computer and your cell phone???

Your story just does not compute. Sorry. Hopefully someone else can decipher this. (But, again, if she is crazy, what crazy people say is generally not defamatory because no one will believe it)

 

[airbornedoc]

I have a full time job. I had one part-time job.

She is the marketing director at a rehab. center. She goes to the hospital and recruits patients, she gets referrals from physicians who have patients in hospitals and are about to discharge them to a rehab center. She controls my admissions at the rehab center.

I guess she was able to contemplate the restraining order because she told the police I was harassing her and threatening her, which were lies. She sent me a text message, several hours after I cut off all ties with her, that said "don't bother me at my place of business." She sent that from the police station. Several weeks later when I got a copy of the police report I confirmed what I suspected, she was there trying to get a restraining order against me. Come to find out she has done this against several ex boyfriends.

Yep, psychologists and physicians will talk off the record just like attornies, especially if one is in danger from a former patient.

We dated for two years. She would come down from her home, five hours away, for about a week every month. During the last part of '06 I started dating someone locally. The whackjob would come down and follow me to work, searching the parking lot for my car, going thru my cell phone for several months before she decided to quit her job five hours away and take a job where I work. I said she could move in temporarily until she got an apartment. I felt sorry for her. In the first day I discovered she had been reading my emails for at least six months. Four months later I discovered she was screwing another doctor who is married and threw her out.

The police report that she signed, under oath, says I pulled loaded guns on her, as well as other lies.

These friends are internet buddies she has cyber and phone sex with. Go read about Histrionic Personality Disorder.

She put the spyware on my computers three weeks before I threw her out. I discovered it a week after I threw her out. I discovered the Verizon account two weeks after I threw her out because I would call somebody and she would immediately call them or I would text somebody and she would immediately send me a nasty text message.

 

[quincy]

I just did a very quick Wikipedia check on histrionic personality disorder. I didn't get from that, however, that a person with HPD is dangerous (except to themselves) or vindictive, necessarily. If she has another major disorder present, possibly, but I am obviously not a doctor. I also noted that someone with HPD gets bored easily and may go through frequent job changes....THAT'S a positive for you, at any rate

I can still only tell you that you would have a hard time with a defamation suit since, apparently, no one believes what this woman is saying and, in addition, she has a mental illness which would give you "reasonable person" problems. Also, although you are showing monetary loss since you are not going to your part-time job, that has been YOUR decision not to go (a REASONABLE decision, perhaps, but still one that YOU made). If you can show that her comments have "injured" you more than this, it would give you a better case, but still not one that I think you could win. Others may think differently, so you can wait for their responses.

One other note: Since a person with HPD seeks attention, any suit you brought against her would GIVE her the attention she seeks. Is this helpful to her, or to you?

An invasion of privacy suit might be a better possibility for you - and I will let the attorneys on this forum address that. The problem with any invasion of privacy action, however, is that you pretty much gave her your consent when you brought her into your home and allowed the email situation to go on for 5 additional months with your knowledge, and only threw her out when you discovered her cheating on you (although, since you said you yourself had a girlfriend, I am not sure this is really cheating).

Oh - were you ever ARRESTED on the gun charge? Or were the charges immediately dropped??

 

[airbornedoc]

I didn't have a girlfriend when she moved in.

I didn't know she had stolen my email password and was transferring me emails to her account until six months after she started.

I was never arrested for anything. The police didn't even contact me about any of her complaints. I knew there was an investigation because I hired a private detective who told me. After the police closed the case I got a copy of the report and was shocked at her allegations.

In Florida just because you're in the house doesn't give you permission to use someone elses computer AND read their private email. It is called wiretapping. I also want to pursue stalking and wiretapping because she is still reading my text messages on my cell phone account.

She is not formally diagnosed with HPD. The psych. hadn't seen her in almost four years and said I was just confirming what he suspected. That was his off the record diagnosis.

 

[quincy]

Florida may not have given her permission to access your emails or use your computer, but YOU did. You knew she was doing this and you continued to let her do it for 5 additional months. Your best bet on the whole phone thing is to just get a new number, new password and, hey, here's an idea - DON'T LET HER HAVE IT. And don't be posting your new number and password on your computer until you get the spyware removed (although you probably shouldn't do it even then).

Your timeline is just not making sense to me, either. I have written down everything you have said, and it STILL doesn't make sense. You dated a girl in 2006 and yet this crazy lady lived with you during this time (from July- when you got her the job - until May- when you kicked her out of your home for cheating on you). You said you threw her out on May 5and she begged to come back on the 6th and 7th and 8th and you repeatedly told her no (and you can prove this because you have your emails and her emails) and on May 9th she went to the police to file complaints and on May 11th she tried to get a restraining order, and you said you had already cut off all contact with her by then. Well, for 3 DAYS maybe.

And you hire an investigator and THAT is when you hear about the police report?? The police don't bother to notify you, or even check to see if you have guns in your house? They don't call you down to the station? I mean, even if the police don't believe a WORD of what this lady says, they are not just going to ignore it all. At least no policeman I know would do that.

And you are not working because she is threatening a restraining order. The police already told her she couldn't get one against you.

Anyway - I will NOW wait for others to respond, because I can't get my brain wrapped around any of this.

 

[moburkes]

Stop dating people you work with.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

You can sue her for each violation of the Federal Communications Privacy Act and seek criminal charges as well.

 

[xylene]

I want to tell you the truth doctor.

Your posts are paranoid and bordering on the unintelligible.

You have just come off of a toxic relationship.

You should be seeing your own psychiatrist about options to help you get past this, instead of consulting with your ex's doctor and engaging in pretty significant ethics violations.

In your slander / defamation / whatever suit... do you plan on perjuring yourself when asked about this communication, or will you be truthful and risk repercussions to your career and open yourself up to significant litigation.

Lastly - I call smell toxic people like this if they are in the same building... you engaged her in a lengthy relationship (and you have your own children ).

You need to be more introspective about how you became a partner in such an unhealthy relationship dynamic before indulging yourself in the revenge lawsuit fantasy.

 

[mommyof4]

Yep, psychologists and physicians will talk off the record just like attornies, especially if one is in danger from a former patient.

Wow! And did your ex give her consent to the doctor to release ANY information about her? Legally, he can't even tell you that she was a patient without her consent. You are not an insurance company and you are not in a position to whom the doctor would be required to report any suspicious or illegal activity. Added to that, you "confirmed his suspicions". So, he didn't even diagnose her, he just told you that is what he thought and you confirmed his non-diagnosis??? Nice going, Ace. That should be an entertaining moment (FOR HER) in your testimony.

Assuming that ANY of what you say that she has done is true, at best, you both sound a bit off. At worst, you are completely off your rocker and need to go see a mental health professional, yourself.