ex making false allegations in custody case

[Ravenmoon26]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Hello. My ex husband and I have had a custody agreement in effect for two years now, but he just recently served me with papers to try to take custody away from me. His charges are "neglect or substantial non-performance of parenting duties", "long-term impairment due to drug, alcohol or other substance abuse which interferes with parenting functions" and "residential instability". The first two charges are completely false and he didn't provide any solid evidence of them in his petition to modify custody, only the last one he MAY have a chance at because I have moved 6 times in the 5 yrs since he left me, due to some financial difficulties.

I work at a daycare, at the same job for 2 years now, and I go to college with honours. I also do regular volunteer work with my honours society and have taken my children to do the volunteer work as well.

I have had some mental health issues in the past, but have been stable for at least two years now. And even those issues were related to his leaving me and the divorce and his continued threats about taking the kids from me for years now.

What are his chances of winning? My kids mean the world to me! I have provided declarations from people proving his statements false, is this enough? How much do I have to fear my past metal health issues?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Hello. My ex husband and I have had a custody agreement in effect for two years now, but he just recently served me with papers to try to take custody away from me. His charges are "neglect or substantial non-performance of parenting duties", "long-term impairment due to drug, alcohol or other substance abuse which interferes with parenting functions" and "residential instability". The first two charges are completely false and he didn't provide any solid evidence of them in his petition to modify custody, only the last one he MAY have a chance at because I have moved 6 times in the 5 yrs since he left me, due to some financial difficulties.

I work at a daycare, at the same job for 2 years now, and I go to college with honours. I also do regular volunteer work with my honours society and have taken my children to do the volunteer work as well.

I have had some mental health issues in the past, but have been stable for at least two years now. And even those issues were related to his leaving me and the divorce and his continued threats about taking the kids from me for years now.

What are his chances of winning? My kids mean the world to me! I have provided declarations from people proving his statements false, is this enough? How much do I have to fear my past metal health issues?

Have you had problems with substance abuse at all during the past two years?

How often have you moved in the past two years?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington

Hello. My ex husband and I have had a custody agreement in effect for two years now, but he just recently served me with papers to try to take custody away from me

.

a motion, okay.

His charges are "neglect or substantial non-performance of parenting duties", "long-term impairment due to drug, alcohol or other substance abuse which interferes with parenting functions"

are the children fed? clothed? roof over their head? going to school? what are their grades? have you particiapted in ANY unprescibed drugs?

and "residential instability". The first two charges are completely false and he didn't provide any solid evidence of them in his petition to modify custody,

what type of evidence did he provide?

only the last one he MAY have a chance at because I have moved 6 times in the 5 yrs since he left me, due to some financial difficulties.

little confused....how long ago did he leave? 5 or 2 years? was the order only in effect for two years?

I work at a daycare, at the same job for 2 years now,

are you certified? what kind of background check did you have to go through?

and I go to college with honours. I also do regular volunteer work with my honours society and have taken my children to do the volunteer work as well.

well, i'd imagine that is hard to do all stoned up.

I have had some mental health issues in the past, but have been stable for at least two years now. And even those issues were related to his leaving me and the divorce and his continued threats about taking the kids from me for years now.

not to be rude, but what type of mental issues? are you still under the care of a doctor? taking medication as prescribed?

What are his chances of winning?

depends.

My kids mean the world to me!

i say this to all parents....you need to get a hobby. really. your therapist should have covered this with you. yes, i'll say it. mine did. he was right.

I have provided declarations from people proving his statements false, is this enough?

statements won't get anywhere in court the way you think. you need to have a firm rebuttal. your therapist on the stand would work better. a blood test proving nonuse of drugs would be great.

How much do I have to fear my past metal health issues?

past mental? not much. even current ones are th at much of an issue. it's unmoderated mental issues that cause for concern.

 

[Ravenmoon26]

First of all, saying my kids MEAN the world to me is not the same as saying my kids are my life. I have hobbies and a rich life outside of my parenting. I found that assumption a little patronizing.

Besides that, I have had counseling, but have not needed any in at least two years. As I said, I have been working in a daycare, and yes, they did a background check on me, for two years now and my boss and co-workers think the world of me.

I have been going to college for a year now as well as working and have maintained a 4.0 GPA, THAT I could not do if I was impaired by drugs or alcohol. YES, I have done pot in the past, but NEVER in the presence of my children and only very rarely for chronic pain due to a whiplash injury. I addressed this in my response.

He left me 5 yrs ago, but the divorce was only final 3 yrs ago. The custody agreement was not disputed. He recently decided to try to modify, I believe, because he has issues with me as a person.

My children are not only fed, clothed and going to school, but I provided evidence that EVERY week that he has had custody of them for the last three school years he has gotten them to school late at LEAST 1-3 times each week. I also provided evidence that for the past two years, he has not participated in my younger daughter's homework, the way he is supposed to. I am the one who takes them to school functions, he rarely does, if at all.


As for the evidence he provided, it was either status quotes of mine from a social site or blog, or just made up stories he fabricated from snippets of info our minor children told him. But anything he provided was from 2-3 years ago, nothing recent, yet in his declaration he claims that recently my mental and decision-making skills are deteriorating, but has no proof of that because it is simply not true.

I was diagnosed bipolar 3 or 4 yrs ago, though I highly suspect it was more extreme anxiety from the divorce, since I have felt absolutely fine for at LEAST two and a half years now, since not long after the divorce ended. MOST of my anxiety and "depression" was around his continued threats to me about taking the kids from me.


I have moved two times in the last two years. But is that really justification to take my kids? What about military parents who move all the time?

I just wanted to know how likely it is for a child custody decree to be modified under false allegations that I can prove are false, even if some of his claims have some basis in truth (like the past pot use, which is so rare that it has nothing to do with my parenting ability, yet he's trying to make a case for addiction and abuse).

People with ACTUAL experience going through something similar is who I'd like to talk to.

Thanks.

 

[Proserpina]

Ok, jump down from the defensive horse, Mom. Isis said nothing wrong, honestly

Military parents are given markedly more latitude when it comes to relocating. Much may depend on your reasons. Were you evicted? Move to better area?

You mention pot use. Not an issue generally unless there's proof that it's interfering with your parenting ability.

Nobody can guarantee a result. Is it possible for Dad to get custody changed? Yes, it's possible. It honestly is possible.

Is it likely? Personally, I don't think so.

And finally?

Stick around and read the forums. You'll learn a LOT.

 

[stealth2]

People with ACTUAL experience going through something similar is who I'd like to talk to.

Thanks.

I had all kinds of thoughts to share, until I got to the above. At which point I thought... "yeah... go pay a lawyer." Is has plenty of experience, as do most of us. But it would seem all you want to hear is what makes you feel good. Whatevs.

 

[Ravenmoon26]

Different reasons for the moving. Lost a job and couldn't pay rent, BF who we lived with for a year broke up with me and we had to move. Different reasons, but always managed to get us settled into a nice home again.

My kids have always slept in their own beds surrounded by their own things. I moved a LOT as a kid, and I make sure to tell my kids that it's not WHERE we are physically, but simply that we are together as a family. We have never moved far from friends and they see all their old friends, even through the moves, so they have not been as disruptive as if we were moving all over the country. Through this last move they are even at their same school, so can he even use that against me?

I have been reading the forums, thanks. As is customary for these sorts of sites, the "seniour" members do tend to talk down to "newbies" quite a bit. I am more interested in respectful inquiry and advise. I am an intelligent adult and I just want to speak to those who have been through something similar and can share with me what they witnessed or experienced so I know what to expect. I am not as interested in simply people's "opinions" based on their length of time on this, or similar, sites. Thanks.

Best Regards, R

 

[Isis1]

First of all, saying my kids MEAN the world to me is not the same as saying my kids are my life. I have hobbies and a rich life outside of my parenting. I found that assumption a little patronizing.

aw, jump to what you preceived as the negative first thing? wow. okay.

Besides that, I have had counseling, but have not needed any in at least two years. As I said, I have been working in a daycare, and yes, they did a background check on me, for two years now and my boss and co-workers think the world of me.

that's a good thing. make sure that is mentioned.

I have been going to college for a year now as well as working and have maintained a 4.0 GPA, THAT I could not do if I was impaired by drugs or alcohol.

actually, some people can do that. it's not often. i know i wouldn't be able to. but it does happen. but definitely a show of possibly not.

YES, I have done pot in the past, but NEVER in the presence of my children and only very rarely for chronic pain due to a whiplash injury. I addressed this in my response.

okay. was this prescribed by a doctor? and when was the last time?

He left me 5 yrs ago, but the divorce was only final 3 yrs ago. The custody agreement was not disputed. He recently decided to try to modify, I believe, because he has issues with me as a person.

i'm going to ask a very frequent starter question. did he recently get married? new girlfriend? has support been recently ordered? modified?

My children are not only fed, clothed and going to school, but I provided evidence that EVERY week that he has had custody of them for the last three school years he has gotten them to school late at LEAST 1-3 times each week.

until that affects the school specifically such as truancies or even fines from the school district, not a real pusher. remember, you want to prove why custody should remain as is, not why he shouldn't have custody.

I also provided evidence that for the past two years, he has not participated in my younger daughter's homework, the way he is supposed to. I am the one who takes them to school functions, he rarely does, if at all.

again...show the children are thriving with you. despite dad. not why dad is so awful.

As for the evidence he provided, it was either status quotes of mine from a social site or blog, or just made up stories he fabricated from snippets of info our minor children told him.

what are you saying on facebook that he could use? would you please set your security settings? and not "friend" him?

But anything he provided was from 2-3 years ago, nothing recent, yet in his declaration he claims that recently my mental and decision-making skills are deteriorating, but has no proof of that because it is simply not true.

sounds like poo throwing....has he clarified WHAT decisions?

I was diagnosed bipolar 3 or 4 yrs ago, though I highly suspect it was more extreme anxiety from the divorce, since I have felt absolutely fine for at LEAST two and a half years now, since not long after the divorce ended. MOST of my anxiety and "depression" was around his continued threats to me about taking the kids from me.

uh oh. this is what concerns me. you were diagnosed. what medications were you prescribed if any? are you still taking your meds? do you have a therapist denouncing your diagnosis?

I have moved two times in the last two years. But is that really justification to take my kids? What about military parents who move all the time?

did you move during the school year? did the children change schools? are you still in the same school district? how has it affected dad's visitation? trasportation? it is closer to dad? farther from dad?

I just wanted to know how likely it is for a child custody decree to be modified under false allegations that I can prove are false, even if some of his claims have some basis in truth (like the past pot use, which is so rare that it has nothing to do with my parenting ability, yet he's trying to make a case for addiction and abuse).

you show no criminal record, therefor it's all hearsay. did you actually admit to use in your response?

People with ACTUAL experience going through something similar is who I'd like to talk to.

been there, done that.

Thanks.

 

[Proserpina]

Different reasons for the moving. Lost a job and couldn't pay rent, BF who we lived with for a year broke up with me and we had to move. Different reasons, but always managed to get us settled into a nice home again.

My kids have always slept in their own beds surrounded by their own things. I moved a LOT as a kid, and I make sure to tell my kids that it's not WHERE we are physically, but simply that we are together as a family. We have never moved far from friends and they see all their old friends, even through the moves, so they have not been as disruptive as if we were moving all over the country. Through this last move they are even at their same school, so can he even use that against me?

I have been reading the forums, thanks. As is customary for these sorts of sites, the "seniour" members do tend to talk down to "newbies" quite a bit. I am more interested in respectful inquiry and advise. I am an intelligent adult and I just want to speak to those who have been through something similar and can share with me what they witnessed or experienced so I know what to expect. I am not as interested in simply people's "opinions" based on their length of time on this, or similar, sites. Thanks.

Best Regards, R

What you can expect is that Dad will make his case in court, you will have your chance to rebut the allegations and the judge will make a decision according to the evidence presented.

It really is that simple.

By the way - you've been answered by someone intimately familiar with how custody cases work in WA.

 

[Ravenmoon26]

Is there anyone here who is NOT reactionary who is willing to have a little mature conversation about their experiences? I am not here to have personality flame wars. I simply want to talk to people who have been through something similar and can advise me. I am not interested in whether you think I worded something in a way that suddenly you will now NOT help me. This is not a mature conversation and I am not interested in it. I believed that this was a legitimate forum with people who had legitimate advise. Please someone prove me right.

 

[Proserpina]

Is there anyone here who is NOT reactionary who is willing to have a little mature conversation about their experiences? I am not here to have personality flame wars. I simply want to talk to people who have been through something similar and can advise me. I am not interested in whether you think I worded something in a way that suddenly you will now NOT help me. This is not a mature conversation and I am not interested in it. I believed that this was a legitimate forum with people who had legitimate advise. Please someone prove me right.

A local attorney can also guide you further.

 

[Ravenmoon26]

Thank you anyways, and best to you all.

 

[Isis1]

Is there anyone here who is NOT reactionary who is willing to have a little mature conversation about their experiences? I am not here to have personality flame wars. I simply want to talk to people who have been through something similar and can advise me. I am not interested in whether you think I worded something in a way that suddenly you will now NOT help me. This is not a mature conversation and I am not interested in it. I believed that this was a legitimate forum with people who had legitimate advise. Please someone prove me right.

omg...am i talking to a wall?

 

[stealth2]

Is there anyone here who is NOT reactionary who is willing to have a little mature conversation about their experiences? I am not here to have personality flame wars. I simply want to talk to people who have been through something similar and can advise me. I am not interested in whether you think I worded something in a way that suddenly you will now NOT help me. This is not a mature conversation and I am not interested in it. I believed that this was a legitimate forum with people who had legitimate advise. Please someone prove me right.

You would be wise to really read and consider what Isis has posted to you. If you're not interested in doing that? Why do you think we're interested in wasting our time? Go pay a lawyer.

omg...am i talking to a wall?

Is - you are a better person than I. This poster can go scratch. IMO, of course.

 

[Isis1]

I had all kinds of thoughts to share, until I got to the above. At which point I thought... "yeah... go pay a lawyer." Is has plenty of experience, as do most of us. But it would seem all you want to hear is what makes you feel good. Whatevs.

that totally sucks, i was totally on HER side too!