Ex wants to talk to our daughter. Do I have to allow it?

[Jubilee123]

What is the name of your state?WI
My daughter is 7 years old and has only met her dad once. He suddenly has a bee in his bonnet that he wants to talk to her on the phone after having been abusive to me several times over the phone and in person when he met her. He is not on her birth certificate, he has no custody or visitation per the courts and has never had any interest in her before. He reached out to me recently and said he wanted to meet her but it turned out that he wanted a reconciliation, when I turned him down he started threatening to harm me so I have been ignoring his calls. I am right to do this right? I don't want to open the door for him to hurt her emotionally or either of us physically.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state?WI
My daughter is 7 years old and has only met her dad once. He suddenly has a bee in his bonnet that he wants to talk to her on the phone after having been abusive to me several times over the phone and in person when he met her. He is not on her birth certificate, he has no custody or visitation per the courts and has never had any interest in her before. He reached out to me recently and said he wanted to meet her but it turned out that he wanted a reconciliation, when I turned him down he started threatening to harm me so I have been ignoring his calls. I am right to do this right? I don't want to open the door for him to hurt her emotionally or either of us physically.

Has paternity been legally established through the courts? Do you have a support order?

 

[Jubilee123]

A paternity test was taken and confirmed when everything came up but no support order. Nothing through the court.

 

[cbg]

You do not have to allow it now. But if he goes back to court and gets a visitation order, you will have to allow it then.

 

[Jubilee123]

He lives in Texas. Is it likely that he could take her or would be probably have to come to wisconsin to see her? I have a lot of concern about this becoming retaliatory rather than about connecting with her.

 

[not2cleverRed]

First he has to establish paternity through the court.
Then he has to petition the court in Wisconsin for parenting time. The court may or may not allow him to do this telephonically.
This costs money.
And if he hires a lawyer with an ounce of sense, he will be informed that you will likely counter with a petition for child support and ask that travel costs be on him.

If he takes the plunge, do petition for child support and asked that he bear the transportation costs.
Additionally ask for some introductory period where the 2 can get acquainted, preferably with reunification therapy.

 

[eerelations]

And document every threat he's made to harm you. Also every admission that his desire to contact his daughter is really about reconciling with you. Save all texts, emails and voicemail messages. This could be useful down the line.