Ex wifes new husband

[skatz714]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New Jersey
My ex-wifes new husband has both verbally and through both e-mails and regular mail made mention that I have done the following:
Mistreated my children
Stole monies from them by under paying support
Called me a dead beat dad
Accused me from making monies "off the books"

Has stated the above and more to my children / my dad / my girl friend.
These comments are all false. I am seeing these remarks to be detrimental to the way my children perceive me at times. I try not to get them involved by reasoning with them on why these comments are false. I am in court now seeking the judge to prevent further comments from her new husband.
If there is a way to confirm that this is damaging the relation between the children and myself can I sue for damages?
Will the court prevent him from interveening?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Go to the police and file a restraining order requiring him to stay 100 ft away with no telephone or internet contact.

 

[HomeGuru]

Go to the police and file a restraining order requiring him to stay 100 ft away with no telephone or internet contact.

**A: 100 feet? Do I hear a longer distance?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

**A: 100 feet? Do I hear a longer distance?

I'm out of Viagra so 100ft is all I can manage at the time

 

[HomeGuru]

I'm out of Viagra so 100ft is all I can manage at the time

**A: fibber, you tool Lieagra.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

**A: fibber, you tool Lieagra.

Only with blondes and redheads

 

[joan marie]

Im sure there is more detail than you are offering. It seems a very one sided question. I do not think most good moms would allow any step dad to interferr unjustly. Is she a good mom? Id have to ask you, what part do you play in this? Do/Did you pay your support on time? Did/do you pay day care expenses on time? Do you/Are you involved with your childrens day to day routine? Are you involved with their education? religion? Most moms with good Xhusbands, that are good dads, have very little complaints and are greatful the dads continue to be Dads to THEIR kids.

Id try and work it out with your xwife. She seems sensible. She's raising the kids it seems. Make peace not war.

joan marie*

 

[stephenk]

"Id try and work it out with your xwife. She seems sensible."

How do you know she is sensible? the poster never mentioned the ex-wife.

 

[care716]

Don't know if this helps

OHIO
I recently went through somewhat similar situation and basically the magistrate in our case didn't want to hear about it. Even with witnesses, her response was to make a general statement about how these actions weren't in the best interest of the children. Needless to say it continues and probably always will. In my case it was my ex and his girlfriend both saying these things. We even have it stated in the paperwork that this is not to go on. However, the only way they will do anything is if the kids tell a social worker or school councelor, my kids personally are too afraid to tell what's going on. The only thing I figure I can do is to show my kids day to day who I am, be honest with them about only the things they NEED to know and have told them on some things that it isn't something I feel they need that kind of information about. I also make sure to either not respond to the "dad said..." or to try and change the subject. I know that as they get older they will see the truth and while it kills me at times now to deal with I only hope that my positive responses will help them as they get older. The worst thing about this is that as they get older and see that all this was lies(and they will see it) they will pull away and lose respect for your ex. As a child of divorce I can speak on this from some experience. Just try to bite your tongue until it bleeds. And sometimes it will lol.

 

[meganproser]

Care716 are you actually Dr. Phil in disguise? Your post was perfect and you said:

As a child of divorce I can speak on this from some experience

You and thousands of other such victims of the ignorance or selfishness of the adults who should be protecting them.

Skatz others have answered your question about legal recourse.

I would add to Care716’s advice that there are some books that address the harm suffered by the children who are the middle of these parental disputes. I’d buy every book I could find on the subject and perhaps after leaving them in view of the children for a while, wink, give them to the ex with a sincere plea that she and her hubby read them.

While at the bookstore, I’m sure you can also find something that addresses this situation but is written FOR the children. Get what you can and give it to the kids or better yet, review it with them.

Any child old enough to understand what child support is, is old enough to see the malice behind what your ex’s hubby is doing. Children REALLY appreciate the parent who refuses to subject them to these adult matters.

Good luck!

 

[joan marie]

"Id try and work it out with your xwife. She seems sensible."

How do you know she is sensible? the poster never mentioned the ex-wife.

Any xhusband with complaints? would have listed them. By the x not being mentioned, Id assume skatz has no issues with her.

joan marie*

 

[Brunswick]

[Has stated the above and more to my children / my dad / my girl friend.
Will the court prevent him from interveening?[/QUOTE]

skatzz- I had a similar problem with my ex-wife's husband. I don't know how old your kids are-- but mine were 11 and 13 when I had to deal with that. He accused me of being a bad father and went so far as to say that I neglected to be a participating father in raising my kids. When the judge realized that in court it was "my words against what she said"-- he simply stopped the case until the kids could be brought to court to respond to his questions in private. It was hard to say I was a bad father... I coached a sport each season (I had to alternate between the 2 kids), I never missed a parent teacher conference, I had all of the school memos mailed to me (I knew more than her because my kids never brought home anything), and I cooked dinner for them at my condo once a week-- and of course they spent every other weekend with me...
So the judge ruled that her husband could not badmouth me OR he would be penalized. It stopped-- and she is no longer married to the jerk!
Good luck-- just know that there is comfort in the truth... all you have to do is prove it.

 

[stephenk]

instead of sensible it sounds like the ex-wife has just faded into the background to allow her current husband to be her spokesperson. he wouldn't say a word if she told him to stop.

 

[joan marie]

maybe what is said is true?
Either way should be able to prove. Ask the kids. Maybe he should go after the xwife than the new husband. Just doesnt seem right to me.

joan marie*

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

maybe what is said is true?
Either way should be able to prove. Ask the kids. Maybe he should go after the xwife than the new husband. Just doesnt seem right to me.

joan marie*

Ask the kids? If this is what you would do with your kids, you would be a disgrace as a parent.