ex's gf and abuse infront of and to my children

[Isis1]

He has been very worried about having to go to his dad's this weekend and her being there( as she is suppose to be coming to getting her stuff this weekend). I am hoping that with all that happened last weekend their dad will agree to just letting them say with me this Sunday. That way she can get her stuff without the risk of more conflict infront of the kids. I told him that "I went and talked to some people today and am doing what I can to make sure him and his sister don't have to be around her anymore". I didn't want to go as far as promising him that he wont being seeing her anymore. While I am quiet confident from the judges response today that I will be able to get the final order with no issues, but I don't want to promise him something and then something go wrong! He seemed to be very relieved and is now looking forward to the next time he gets to go to his dad's (the other night he said he never wanted to go over there again). He is planning all the things that they (him and his dad) can actually do now that she isn't there.

could you ask for a sort of graduated visitation? say like no overnights? supervised? a few hours a day then building up? just so dad can have some time to calm down?

 

[teach85]

could you ask for a sort of graduated visitation? say like no overnights? supervised? a few hours a day then building up? just so dad can have some time to calm down?

He would never go for that. I am hoping that he will agree to it this weekend though. She needs to get her stuff so she can be out and she can't be there while the kids are. So it will just make it a better situation all around if they stay home this weekend. I know his sister is planning on coming to stay the next weekend he gets the kids all weekend. I am just hoping things start to get better from here on out. These kids have seen and been around enough drama over there to last them a life time.

 

[teach85]

Things might get alittle more interesting now. CPS showed up at my sons school today. I bet the school counselor called. Makes me feel good that the principle was right on notifying everyone that needs to know about the Restraining Order when she received it today. My son goes to afternoon YMCA which is at the school and the principal went down after school to make sure the YMCA staff knew what was going on and to check for herself to make sure the dad's gf wasn't on any pick up list. Told the staff if she showed up to call the police immediately.

 

[teach85]

I am so frustrated. Well surprise, guess who is no longer moving out. And their dad is now denying everything that happened last weekend! GRRR! It may end up coming to my 7 year old having to testify and that makes me sick to think about. But I can't keep letting this stuff go on infront of my kids! I am so mad I could cry about now!

 

[teach85]

Would I be out of line if I asked for the court to appoint a GAL for my kids in this case? Does it qualify? Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

 

[Isis1]

Would I be out of line if I asked for the court to appoint a GAL for my kids in this case? Does it qualify? Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

you absolutely should request a GAL.

 

[teach85]

you absolutely should request a GAL.

Ok, thanks! I don't know what else to do to make sure that my kids are heard and not forced to be around all of the nonsense.

What will the exactly can the GAL do? From what I have read they are their to represent the best interest of the kids and will begin from a non biased point and go from there. I just want to be clear as to what the process might/will be.

Do I ask for one when we go back for the 2 year restraining order or before? And correct me if I'm wrong but wont the cost be split between their father and I?

 

[teach85]

Not trying to be obnoxious and bump my thread, but can anyone answer the following.

What exactly can the GAL do? From what I have read they are there to represent the best interest of the kids and will begin from a non biased point and go from there. I just want to be clear as to what the process might/will be.

Do I ask for one when we go back for the 2 year restraining order or before? And correct me if I'm wrong but wont the cost be split between their father and I?


Need to know what I need to be doing to be ready for my court date on the 8th.
Thanks!

 

[mistoffolees]

Not trying to be obnoxious and bump my thread, but can anyone answer the following.

What exactly can the GAL do? From what I have read they are there to represent the best interest of the kids and will begin from a non biased point and go from there. I just want to be clear as to what the process might/will be.

Do I ask for one when we go back for the 2 year restraining order or before? And correct me if I'm wrong but wont the cost be split between their father and I?


Need to know what I need to be doing to be ready for my court date on the 8th.
Thanks!

A GAL basically talks to anyone s/he wants to who might be involved with the kids. The evaluate the situation and make a recommendation to the judge as to what should be done. The judge usually follows a GAL's recommendation. The GAL is not bound by the same rules of evidence that a judge must follow, so they have a little more leeway.

The cost is normally split, but the court could decide otherwise.

Someone else will have to answer the procedural part.

 

[teach85]

A GAL basically talks to anyone s/he wants to who might be involved with the kids. The evaluate the situation and make a recommendation to the judge as to what should be done. The judge usually follows a GAL's recommendation. The GAL is not bound by the same rules of evidence that a judge must follow, so they have a little more leeway.

The cost is normally split, but the court could decide otherwise.

Someone else will have to answer the procedural part.

Thank you for the response! Where has Ohiogal been? I haven't seen her on here much the last few days. She would be the one who could explain the procedural part.

 

[teach85]

If I just need to take a step back and chill out please say so but this really ticks me off!

Our visitation schedules is he gets theme everyone weekend from noon on Saturday till he goes to work or the kids to go school Monday morning. On his off weekends he getting them from 6 pm Sunday evening until he goes to work or the kids go to school Monday morning.

Since he has let his gf move back in he is not using his visitation as scheduled. Which to me scream my gf is more important than my kids! Last weekend he did not get them for his Sunday-Monday visit. This weekend he didn't get them until 4:30 Saturday. He did get them late bc he was scheduled overtime which is understandable but he waited till it was almost time to drop them off to let me know this (I actually contacted him to confirm if I was dropping of or he was picking up. He didn't both to contact me) and I had to cancel my appointment. This really annoyed the heck out of me but I let it goes bc it wasn't worth fight over. Just told him he needed to start letting me know ahead of time if he wasn't going to be able to get them at the scheduled time.

An hour ago I get a call from my son (not their father) saying I have to come get them this evening from their dad's friends house. He is at his friends house watching football (not a issue) but can't take the kids back home because she is their and isn't leaving tonight. It says on the retraining order she can't be their when the children are present but doesn't say she can't be their during their scheduled visitation.

So I will be heading over to pick them up here soon. My question is, is this something I should be bringing up when we go back to court. Not because I mind having the kids back home tonight but because I feel (oldest does as well) by doing this he is without words saying the gf is more important than his kids and the time he should be spending with them.

So like I said, if this something that I just need to chill out about and let go please say so. But if not, your advice if greatly appreciated!

 

[Ohiogal]

If I just need to take a step back and chill out please say so but this really ticks me off!

Our visitation schedules is he gets theme everyone weekend from noon on Saturday till he goes to work or the kids to go school Monday morning. On his off weekends he getting them from 6 pm Sunday evening until he goes to work or the kids go to school Monday morning.

Since he has let his gf move back in he is not using his visitation as scheduled. Which to me scream my gf is more important than my kids! Last weekend he did not get them for his Sunday-Monday visit. This weekend he didn't get them until 4:30 Saturday. He did get them late bc he was scheduled overtime which is understandable but he waited till it was almost time to drop them off to let me know this (I actually contacted him to confirm if I was dropping of or he was picking up. He didn't both to contact me) and I had to cancel my appointment. This really annoyed the heck out of me but I let it goes bc it wasn't worth fight over. Just told him he needed to start letting me know ahead of time if he wasn't going to be able to get them at the scheduled time.

An hour ago I get a call from my son (not their father) saying I have to come get them this evening from their dad's friends house. He is at his friends house watching football (not a issue) but can't take the kids back home because she is their and isn't leaving tonight. It says on the retraining order she can't be their when the children are present but doesn't say she can't be their during their scheduled visitation.

So I will be heading over to pick them up here soon. My question is, is this something I should be bringing up when we go back to court. Not because I mind having the kids back home tonight but because I feel (oldest does as well) by doing this he is without words saying the gf is more important than his kids and the time he should be spending with them.

So like I said, if this something that I just need to chill out about and let go please say so. But if not, your advice if greatly appreciated!

CHILL OUT. Quite frankly you are upset that he is not exposing the children to his girlfriend but you don't want him to expose the children to his girlfriend and wanted to prevent him from exposing the children to his girlfriend and because he is now doing what you wanted him to do but not necessarily in the way you wanted it, you are upset? Yep. Chill out. Give it some time to calm down.

 

[teach85]

CHILL OUT. Quite frankly you are upset that he is not exposing the children to his girlfriend but you don't want him to expose the children to his girlfriend and wanted to prevent him from exposing the children to his girlfriend and because he is now doing what you wanted him to do but not necessarily in the way you wanted it, you are upset? Yep. Chill out. Give it some time to calm down.

Thanks for your honest opinion! I admit the whole situation has my blood boiling which is i why I asked.

Ohiogal, can you answer the questions about GAL's that Isis and Misto couldn't? How do I go about requesting a GAL. I know they are appointed but when? Do I need to go the court house and ask one to be appointed before the scheduled court date or do I ask for one when we go to court?

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks for your honest opinion! I admit the whole situation has my blood boiling which is i why I asked.

Ohiogal, can you answer the questions about GAL's that Isis and Misto couldn't? How do I go about requesting a GAL. I know they are appointed but when? Do I need to go the court house and ask one to be appointed before the scheduled court date or do I ask for one when we go to court?

File a motion requesting a GAL to be appointed due to possible exposure of abuse. Serve a copy upon dad.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with OG that you should chill out, but I also understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately we have seen more than one case on this forum where a parent completely bowed out of the children's lives when their new significant other was legally restrained from being around the children.

Basically dad is going to eventually get tired of the restriction...and several different things could happen. He could get smart and get rid of the girlfriend, he could ignore the order and have the child around the girlfriend and tell the child to lie, or he could bow out of the child's life, maybe temporarily, maybe long term. (depending on how long the girlfriend lasts)