Family Law: Need To Move Out Of State To Afford Rent

[crystalee]

Hi. I live in California and I am Mom to two young Daughters'. There is no court order in place and my ex, whom I was never married to, and I share custody. I am a full-time Nurse for dialysis patients. The place of business where I work is in every state. Transferring would be a matter of one week. I cannot afford to live in California anymore. I lived in Idaho in the past for 5 years and already have a strong support base there. It is a wonderful way of life for children as the caliber of everything is much better than in California, in my opinion. The housing in Idaho is less than 1/3 rd cost than California. I could rent a 3 bedroom house with a garage for $900 opposed to California which is $3000 or better. I of course want to bring my Daughters' with me and still share custody with their Dad, whom is more in the background and he, still living with his Parents', pretty much leaves dealing with the girls totally up to his parents. There is no court order in place. Please advise what I could do. I have to move out of necessity. Thank you in advance for any advice.....

Kind regards,

Shyan

 

[Just Blue]

Hi. I live in California and I am Mom to two young Daughters'. There is no court order in place and my ex, whom I was never married to, and I share custody. I am a full-time Nurse for dialysis patients. The place of business where I work is in every state. Transferring would be a matter of one week. I cannot afford to live in California anymore. I lived in Idaho in the past for 5 years and already have a strong support base there. It is a wonderful way of life for children as the caliber of everything is much better than in California, in my opinion. The housing in Idaho is less than 1/3 rd cost than California. I could rent a 3 bedroom house with a garage for $900 opposed to California which is $3000 or better. I of course want to bring my Daughters' with me and still share custody with their Dad, whom is more in the background and he, still living with his Parents', pretty much leaves dealing with the girls totally up to his parents. There is no court order in place. Please advise what I could do. I have to move out of necessity. Thank you in advance for any advice.....

Kind regards,

Shyan

There is no court orders at all? No child support orders? Is he paying non-court ordered support? Please define his custodial time...every other week? Every other week end? How often are the children with him? How old are the children?

When seeking to move a fathers children hundreds of miles from him it is best to go through the court if you don't have his written permission. Be prepared to pay for all costs of visitation transportation. Court orders are a parents best friend. A CO gives you recourse if the other parent is withholding the children.

 

[not2cleverRed]

If Dad is in agreement, it's easy peasy.

If you offer to foot the bill for travel for visitation, and he can have the same amount of parenting time he exercises now, then he has little to protest.

Has he established legal paternity?
Is he paying child support?
How often does he see the kids?

 

[crystalee]

Both I, Mom, and he, Dad pay mutually for the kids'. I am not paid child support and neither is he. He sees the kids half the time as I. His Parents' are raising the kids, he has been doing stupid stuff like purposely trying to overdose to end his life. He is not in the best of mental places. Four days a week with him and his Parents and I the rest. We work around my work schedule as my schedule is not a set schedule. Still, we share pretty much in the middle.

 

[Just Blue]

Both I, Mom, and he, Dad pay mutually for the kids'. I am not paid child support and neither is he. He sees the kids half the time as I. His Parents' are raising the kids, he has been doing stupid stuff like purposely trying to overdose to end his life. He is not in the best of mental places. Four days a week with him and his Parents and I the rest. We work around my work schedule as my schedule is not a set schedule. Still, we share pretty much in the middle.

So, per your ^ post, he is the primary parent. As you have continued with this schedule despite his having an alleged suicide attempt, the court is unlikely to change his PP status.

You could attempt to just move with the children without permission...but he may hightail it to court and file an emergency motion for the children to be returned to California. And, in the ensuing custody case, the judge may look poorly on your decision to unilaterally move the children from their father, friends, and extended family without the courts or the fathers permission.

I suggest you seek the advice from a local family law attorney before you make a move.

 

[crystalee]

Thank you for your time answering my question. It is much appreciated. Have a good day.

Shyan

 

[Just Blue]

You're welcome, Crystalee.

 

[zddoodah]

If I understand your post correctly, you gave birth to two children out of wedlock. You wrote that "[t]here is no court order in place." Assuming that is true (no order establishing paternity or allocating custody or ordering visitation or payment of child support), then you are your childrens' only legally recognized parent and are free to move with them wherever and whenever you want. Whether, from a non-legal perspective, that would be a smart thing to do is something no one here is competent to opine about.

I nevertheless suggest you consult with a local family law attorney before making any decisions.