Father has no room

[Momma_of_3]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex currently has visitation for our 3 kids. When the court issued it he was living in a house that has plenty of room for them to spend the night but after the issuance, he and his girlfriend and her son moved into a 2 bedroom house. Now he has my kids sleeping together on the floor. He wants another night of visitation but I dont feel he has adequate room. Am I in the right?

 

[>Charlotte<]

Am I in the right?

No, you're not. He is their parent as much as you are, and he has the right to decide for himself, as their father, what is "adequate."

 

[milspecgirl]

my parents separated for a short time when I was a child and some of my fondest memories are the nights we camped in the living room with my dad. Chairs covered with blankets, pillows and sleeping bags on the floor- it was so fun.

 

[Perky]

my parents separated for a short time when I was a child and some of my fondest memories are the nights we camped in the living room with my dad. Chairs covered with blankets, pillows and sleeping bags on the floor- it was so fun.

When my kids were younger, they had many, many sleepovers with their friends. Sometimes it seemed like the entire summer was a sleepover, with at least one friend or another staying here almost every night. They CHOSE to sleep in the family room on the floor. It was fun for them too.

 

[nextwife]

Yup. MY parents were an intact, suburbanite family, but had no AC, so on hot summer mights we all camped out in the family room, the only "cool" room in the house.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex currently has visitation for our 3 kids. When the court issued it he was living in a house that has plenty of room for them to spend the night but after the issuance, he and his girlfriend and her son moved into a 2 bedroom house. Now he has my kids sleeping together on the floor. He wants another night of visitation but I dont feel he has adequate room. Am I in the right?

Send the children with sleeping bags...they will love it!

And no...you are not right.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex currently has visitation for our 3 kids. When the court issued it he was living in a house that has plenty of room for them to spend the night but after the issuance, he and his girlfriend and her son moved into a 2 bedroom house. Now he has my kids sleeping together on the floor. He wants another night of visitation but I dont feel he has adequate room. Am I in the right?

Feeeeeeeelings.... wo wo wo feeeeeeeelings.....

Nope - you're wrong, wrong, wrong. Sleepovers are fun. Kids LOVE sleepovers! ESPECIALLY when they get to sleep on the floor! Heck - #2's at a sleepover as we speak and #1 is all "aaaww... she's on a sleepover! Can we have a sleepver? ON the floor? In sleeping bags?" Knock yourself out kid - I'll lay out a blanket on the sofa. We're watching Fiddler on the Roof. He's setting it up now.

Did I forget to mention he's 16?

Get over yourself, Mom. It won't kill them.

 

[3UofMfans]

My boys each have their own room. Some mornings I will wake to find one snuck onto the couch and the other on the floor. Next weekend the cousins are staying over and I will have 4 boys and a girl all sleeping on the living room floor.

 

[birdbrain53]

Your Ex used to have a house where the children had beds and a room. Now he lives in a 2 bdrm house with new girlfriend and son. He got rid of their beds?

The children have no place to sleep except the floor.

Unlike most of the responses here, I do not believe the courts would look kindly on this situation. If you also have a son or sons, they should be sharing the bedroom with the girlfriend's son. With their own bed to sleep on. Even a hideaway bed would be better than the floor.

Read up on your state's requirements for overnight visitation or pay for a short consultation with a laywer in your state and see what the lawyer's response is.

Then take the appropriate action.

Bird Brain

 

[>Charlotte<]

Personally I agree with you...I certainly feel...in my eyes...JMO

I hope Momma_of_3 doesn't take your agreement and feelings and opinions as encouragement to try to do anything about this in court, or she'll be wasting a lot of time and money.

The fact is, the father only has a two bedroom apartment, not everyone can have his own room, and the father's living arrangements are his own business. Short of actual abuse, when his children are in his home during his visitation, it's nobody's business--including his ex--who he puts where. And that's not my opinion, that's a legal reality.

And that goes for you, too, birdbrain.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Regardless of my feelings, opinions etc.the agreement that my daughters father and I have stipulates that he is to provide a seperate bedroom for our daughter for ournights. It's been signed and entered in the court as an order. So obviously not a waste of time/money. If it's truely a concern of hers I'm sure she can motion the court. (PS you don't need an attorney to do this, you can probably visit your counties website and they may have a self help area, or the clerk can provide you with documents needed to file a motion of the court.) Maybe a judge will recomend mediation and they can come to an agreement of some sort. I'm not a lawyer or any other legal professional but to me from the situation she stated she seems to have a leg to stand on.

If her ex was doing this in violation of a court order, I'm sure she would have said so. The fact that your agreement stipulates sleeping arrangements means exactly zip to the OP. Hers apparently does not, and she is not going to be able to go back and retroactively tweak the court order to her advantage for every miniscule thing she doesn't like.

 

[TCool]

Since we're bringing up old memories....

When my parents split, my dad literally lived in a tent for the first month or two. I'll tell you what, I love camping! I absolutely loved camping out there with my dad, I wouldn't have traded it for anything. You think the kids care that they have to sleep on the floor? If they do care and whine about it, perhaps they are a little too spoiled. Honestly sleeping on the floor is a small price to pay for a child to have quality time with their father. The kids aren't going to regret it. Chill out and accept the fact that some people have rough times and can't always afford a huge house. This is no excuse to keep a child from their father, trying to do so is irresponsible and a horrible thing to do.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Actually modification for parenting agreements as change becomes necessary is not outlandish...etc.

One more time: Not. Gonna. Happen.

 

[Just Blue]

And why not? You're really not giving any reason for why it's not possible to motion the court for this. You're also ignoring the posibility that her and her ex go to mediation and come to an agreement on the issue. I think you're wrong.

Because it's trivial. You don't bother the court for such a trivial matter.

 

[fairisfair]

And why not? You're really not giving any reason for why it's not possible to motion the court for this. You're also ignoring the posibility that her and her ex go to mediation and come to an agreement on the issue. I think you're wrong.

Really, now tell us that a JUDGE ordered that stipulation in your court order based on the merit of the evidence presented.

Not that it was something that the TWO of you agreed to. Or that it was ordered in default. Or a myriad of other things.

Mediation is NOT the same thing as having a judge order something based soley on merit.