Father is out of town and had some girl pick our kids up from their school.

[Mommysheena]

Maybe...its depends on the child. I know that I would have had a really hard time with it as a child. My viewpoint is partially from my own experience, but partially from my state's guidelines as well. ROFR is built into the ITPG and in my state a judge would be all over a parent for doing this.

If this is a one time thing and will never happen again, maybe its not worth making a big deal of at this point. However, if its going to be a regular issue, then personally, I would take it in front of a judge to try to get ROFR built into the orders.

Yes, this happens all the time and when we go to court he denies it and doesn't bring the kids to mediation so they cant tell the mediator what is going on. He has missed 4 mediation appointments. He is present but doesn't bring the kids. I have asked them to schedule on my time and they said they cant do that plus dad is always changing weeks so its hard to determine when my week actually is. Its not just this one girl getting them. There are so many people that teachers have had to email and call me. My children don't want to go to his house. They feel like they are there too long. The only reason why I agreed to 50/50 was to show that dad cant hold up his end of the bargain. What I have learned is that it is really hard to get back parentage that you "gave". its better to ask for more cause you'll get less. They used to scream and cry when they had to go so I would drop them off to make it easier on them. Father got to the point where he would just take them and tell me to leave and that they will stop crying in a hour as they always do. They tell me that he hits them hard all the time and makes them stand in the corner until their feet hurt. Keep in mind that these were 2 and 4 year old toddlers. They tell me that he is always leaving them with people and that all he does when he is home is play video games in his room where they are not allowed to go. I have three years of documentation of all this non sense. I did not go back to court after one or two things happened. I waited until it showed a pattern and when I go, all dad says is that my documentation is not accurate yet he is always empty handed and has nothing to compare it to. My children are now 5 and 7 and are scared of him and do not want to go. As a mom, I feel horrible that I have to make them go and can not protect them.

 

[CJane]

Yes, this happens all the time and when we go to court he denies it and doesn't bring the kids to mediation so they cant tell the mediator what is going on. He has missed 4 mediation appointments. He is present but doesn't bring the kids. I have asked them to schedule on my time and they said they cant do that plus dad is always changing weeks so its hard to determine when my week actually is. Its not just this one girl getting them. There are so many people that teachers have had to email and call me. My children don't want to go to his house. They feel like they are there too long. The only reason why I agreed to 50/50 was to show that dad cant hold up his end of the bargain. What I have learned is that it is really hard to get back parentage that you "gave". its better to ask for more cause you'll get less. They used to scream and cry when they had to go so I would drop them off to make it easier on them. Father got to the point where he would just take them and tell me to leave and that they will stop crying in a hour as they always do. They tell me that he hits them hard all the time and makes them stand in the corner until their feet hurt. Keep in mind that these were 2 and 4 year old toddlers. They tell me that he is always leaving them with people and that all he does when he is home is play video games in his room where they are not allowed to go. I have three years of documentation of all this non sense. I did not go back to court after one or two things happened. I waited until it showed a pattern and when I go, all dad says is that my documentation is not accurate yet he is always empty handed and has nothing to compare it to. My children are now 5 and 7 and are scared of him and do not want to go. As a mom, I feel horrible that I have to make them go and can not protect them.

I'm terribly confused about your timeline.

If Dad disappeared when the child was 6 months old, and didn't reappear til he was almost 4...

How do you also share a 2 year old with him?

How have you - as a diligent and concerned parent - allowed this horrible abuse to go on for THREE YEARS?

Why did you - as a diligent and concerned parent - AGREE to 50/50 custody with someone who had NO RELATIONSHIP with his 4 year old, and COULDN'T POSSIBLY be the father of the 2 year old (because he'd already abandoned the older child)?

And WHY would you come here seeking legal advice about Dad's broken down car, and the kids spending a few days with someone you don't know when CLEARLY there's a MUCH LARGER legal issue that you've REPEATEDLY brought before the court?

My guess? Your story doesn't hold up because it's just that -a story.

 

[TheGeekess]

Yes, this happens all the time and when we go to court he denies it and doesn't bring the kids to mediation so they cant tell the mediator what is going on. He has missed 4 mediation appointments. He is present but doesn't bring the kids. I have asked them to schedule on my time and they said they cant do that plus dad is always changing weeks so its hard to determine when my week actually is. Its not just this one girl getting them. There are so many people that teachers have had to email and call me. My children don't want to go to his house. They feel like they are there too long. The only reason why I agreed to 50/50 was to show that dad cant hold up his end of the bargain. What I have learned is that it is really hard to get back parentage that you "gave". its better to ask for more cause you'll get less. They used to scream and cry when they had to go so I would drop them off to make it easier on them. Father got to the point where he would just take them and tell me to leave and that they will stop crying in a hour as they always do. They tell me that he hits them hard all the time and makes them stand in the corner until their feet hurt. Keep in mind that these were 2 and 4 year old toddlers. They tell me that he is always leaving them with people and that all he does when he is home is play video games in his room where they are not allowed to go. I have three years of documentation of all this non sense. I did not go back to court after one or two things happened. I waited until it showed a pattern and when I go, all dad says is that my documentation is not accurate yet he is always empty handed and has nothing to compare it to. My children are now 5 and 7 and are scared of him and do not want to go. As a mom, I feel horrible that I have to make them go and can not protect them.

Children don't belong in mediation. Or anywhere near a courtroom while these kinds of issues are being handled.

 

[CJane]

Children don't belong in mediation. Or anywhere near a courtroom while these kinds of issues are being handled.

Especially when one of them isn't even his child.

Also, as an aside, I'm a BIT amused that Mom is all THIS WOMAN IS A STRANGER!!!!!! but apparently agreed to 50/50 custody with a father who was ALSO a stranger.

 

[stealth2]

Yes, this happens all the time and when we go to court he denies it and doesn't bring the kids to mediation so they cant tell the mediator what is going on. He has missed 4 mediation appointments. He is present but doesn't bring the kids. I have asked them to schedule on my time and they said they cant do that plus dad is always changing weeks so its hard to determine when my week actually is. Its not just this one girl getting them. There are so many people that teachers have had to email and call me. My children don't want to go to his house. They feel like they are there too long. The only reason why I agreed to 50/50 was to show that dad cant hold up his end of the bargain. What I have learned is that it is really hard to get back parentage that you "gave". its better to ask for more cause you'll get less. They used to scream and cry when they had to go so I would drop them off to make it easier on them. Father got to the point where he would just take them and tell me to leave and that they will stop crying in a hour as they always do. They tell me that he hits them hard all the time and makes them stand in the corner until their feet hurt. Keep in mind that these were 2 and 4 year old toddlers. They tell me that he is always leaving them with people and that all he does when he is home is play video games in his room where they are not allowed to go. I have three years of documentation of all this non sense. I did not go back to court after one or two things happened. I waited until it showed a pattern and when I go, all dad says is that my documentation is not accurate yet he is always empty handed and has nothing to compare it to. My children are now 5 and 7 and are scared of him and do not want to go. As a mom, I feel horrible that I have to make them go and can not protect them.

Good for Dad! Your children should NOT be made part of the mediation. Find a different way to prove it.