Father wants 50/50 shared physical custody

[ecmst12]

50-50 is also really hard to make work when the parents don't get along, so try to keep it from turning ugly...

 

[CJane]

In the world of negotiating, they often tell you to ask for more than you are willing to settle for. If he asks for 50/50, ex may want him to "settle" at a standard parenting plan.

What part of creating all of that hostility when there are apparently no fitness issues at all is in the best interests of the CHILDREN?

OP - you need to get in touch with an attorney to find out primarily if 50/50 is even an option absent an agreement.

 

[nextwife]

What part of creating all of that hostility when there are apparently no fitness issues at all is in the best interests of the CHILDREN?

OP - you need to get in touch with an attorney to find out primarily if 50/50 is even an option absent an agreement.

Is that what you tell a mom who states they plan to file for primary custody who has been an equal caregiver? That filing for residential custody is hostile so they should not?

But, if dad files for primary custody, it's a hostile move?

 

[stealth2]

IMO, Dad would be wise to try and sort this out through mediation, first. If that turns out to be impossible, then he should file for more than he's willing to settle for.

 

[CJane]

Is that what you tell a mom who states they plan to file for primary custody who has been an equal caregiver? That filing for residential custody is hostile so they should not?

Actually, yes, that IS what I would tell a Mom who offered up the exact same scenario.

Also, it's not in DAD's best interests to fight a battle "at any cost" if the climate in his local court is such that there's NO WAY 50/50 will be ordered if it's contested.

But, if dad files for primary custody, it's a hostile move?

Of Dad files for primary custody as a NEGOTIATING move (which is what you suggested), he's going to have to be prepared to fight ALL OUT, and regardless of cost to GET primary custody. Maybe Mom will settle for 50/50, but it's JUST as likely that they could end up in litigation for a year or so, spend 10s of thousands of dollars, and get a judge that NEVER awards 50/50 in a contested situation.

That advice? It's peni* neutral.

 

[greyton]

Resolution

Hi All,

Just a quick update, we agreed upon a 60/40 split (she gets the 60) - while i would ideally want 50/50 - i'm willing to agree to 60/40 and go the mediation route instead of the lawyers. Thanks sooo much everyone for your feedback!!