father wants his parenting time back

[waking beauty]

Actually, I meant how did he get out of a drunk driving accident(with your child in the car) while driving n a revoked license? Considering that you're saying that he is STILL driving on a revoked license, I am guessing(not assuming, or taking it as apparent) that his license was revoked at the time of the accident.

How old is the child?

oh im sorry i should have been more clear...the drunk driving incident happened in 7-06 at 12:05 am...he was in the car with 3 other girls all under 21 and they had open bottles of liquor in the car...after the accident happened and the police were called his girlfriend at the time took the rap for him and said she was driving because his license was suspended...he never informed me of the accident, i later found out about it 3 months after the fact when i had an insurance company send letters asking how she felt after the accident...when i called them back they told me what happened and thats when i reported him to DSS...but by the time i found out, the girl had already gone to court and he dropped all charges against her, as i was not there nor did i kno what was going on...otherwise i would have advocated for our daughter...at the time of the accident she was 2.5 yrs...now she will be 5 in january

since that time hed continue to drive on a suspended license and hed continue to get pulled over and arrested for doing so....well after so many offenses they finally revoked it for 5 years...he cant even apply for a cinderella license

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Exactly where is Dad? You've got 2 threads going that SEEM to contradict each other. I mean how exactly is he going to get his "parenting time back" if he's half a country away? And you stated in the other thread that his visitation has been "teminated".

What, exactly, is the dealio?

 

[Just Blue]

Exactly where is Dad? You've got 2 threads going that SEEM to contradict each other. I mean how exactly is he going to get his "parenting time back" if he's half a country away? And you stated in the other thread that his visitation has been "teminated".

What, exactly, is the dealio?

Dealio is that OP has some major control/anger issues and is trying to erase Dad from her and the child's life. She needs to grow the heck up and learn to co-parent with the FATHER OF HER CHILD for the happiness and well being of the child.

I have spent a lot of time in Mass Probate Court and if the OP spouts half the crap there as she is here she will be reamed by a Judge.

 

[waking beauty]

oh my god...im not an angry parent...and im not trying to erase her father from her life...but i refuse to allow him to put her in dangerous situations!

i wish someone would take the time to read the letter that i posted earlier in this thread as it explains everything....this is the time line...dad lived in massachusetts dec 2007...was homeless for a bit then got an apartment got evicted 2 months later then moved into another apartment...was evicted from that house in the last 2 weeks of july...was homeless for 2 weeks before moving to texas from august 1st till nov 10th...now he is back in massachusetts...i am angry...im angry at the fact that he lies to the courts and lies to me...i cant co parent with someone who is lying about where he lives and lies about everything...yet im expected to trust him with our daughter?? please take the time to read my letter...and please refrain from insulting me as i only come here for help...not to be bashed...

 

[waking beauty]

Exactly where is Dad? You've got 2 threads going that SEEM to contradict each other. I mean how exactly is he going to get his "parenting time back" if he's half a country away? And you stated in the other thread that his visitation has been "teminated".

What, exactly, is the dealio?

father is now back in mass as of nov 10th or so...he was in TX for about 4 months...left without leaving an address, phone number, and without notifying the courts and the DOR...i went to court to file a mod of our current order...the judge granted that his visits be termiinated until further court order...now hes back and wants visits, which i want him to have them too...but not at the expense of putting our daughter in dangerous situations as he has done inthe past and has continued to do...hes unreliable he shows no consistency and hes a liar...i cant co parent with someone who lies to me about everything...for the 2 weeks he was homeless he never told me this and he had our daughter sleeping on couches of friends etc...is this in the best interest of our child?? should he not have to complete parenting classes?? and have supervised visits for a while??

please help...dont bash me like baystate girl

 

[Just Blue]

oh my god...im not an angry parent...and im not trying to erase her father from her life...but i refuse to allow him to put her in dangerous situations!

i wish someone would take the time to read the letter that i posted earlier in this thread as it explains everything....this is the time line...dad lived in massachusetts dec 2007...was homeless for a bit then got an apartment got evicted 2 months later then moved into another apartment...was evicted from that house in the last 2 weeks of july...was homeless for 2 weeks before moving to texas from august 1st till nov 10th...now he is back in massachusetts...i am angry...im angry at the fact that he lies to the courts and lies to me...i cant co parent with someone who is lying about where he lives and lies about everything...yet im expected to trust him with our daughter?? please take the time to read my letter...and please refrain from insulting me as i only come here for help...not to be bashed...

If you are going pro se then you need to act as an attorney. Writing a letter to the court is not HARD PROOF of your allegations. Homelessness is not a reason to stop visitation unless he is bringing the child to sleep under an overpass.

Proof of allegations: Criminal Records, Witnesses, Recordings (if LEGALLY obtained).

Telling you to grow up is NOT an insult. You are behaving like a child. Go to the county Probate Court where your case will be heard and sit in for a week...This will give you a clue as to behave and present your case.

 

[waking beauty]

If you are going pro se then you need to act as an attorney. Writing a letter to the court is not HARD PROOF of your allegations. Homelessness is not a reason to stop visitation unless he is bringing the child to sleep under an overpass.

Proof of allegations: Criminal Records, Witnesses, Recordings (if LEGALLY obtained).

Telling you to grow up is NOT an insult. You are behaving like a child. Go to the county Probate Court where your case will be heard and sit in for a week...This will give you a clue as to behave and present your case.

trust and believe ive been to fam probate enough to kno how to behave in court...im at my wits end at this point with him...i have asked the courts to obtain his criminal records but to no avail...so where should i go to get his criminal records?? and i have incident resports from her school, one stating that he called her school on sept and said he was living in california and was never coming back...i have witness statements from his ladnlord and roommate who witnessed his neglect and other things that went on in that house...

i said in an earlier post that this is not going to hearing...its a 2-99? which i was told that meant the judge would take our statementa that we had written, shed read them in her chambers, and shed make a decision based on that...if she required more info then shes schedule a hearing...

baystate....since u have been in court and know how to present oneself can u please help me? rather than tell me to grow up id appreciate it if u could tell me what im doing wrong? and how can i improve it? what should i say? what should i rfrain from saying?

thank u

 

[waking beauty]

and as i said i dont want them to stop all visits....id be ok with supervised visits for a time untill he gets his life in order...i dont want him to have overnights if he is homeless...how is that too much to ask? how is that not in the best interest of the child?

 

[Just Blue]

and as i said i dont want them to stop all visits....id be ok with supervised visits for a time untill he gets his life in order...i dont want him to have overnights if he is homeless...how is that too much to ask? how is that not in the best interest of the child?

As long as your ex is providing a roof over the child head during HIS time, his homelessness is NOT AN ISSUE! So what if she sleeps on a couch?? If it bothers you that much send her with an inflatable mattress.

What is in the child's best interest is to have a good relationship with BOTH PARENTS. You are being WAY TO CONTROLLING...And if I were this guys attorney I would argue that by filing for visitation he IS getting his life in order.

 

[Isis1]

and as i said i dont want them to stop all visits....id be ok with supervised visits for a time untill he gets his life in order...i dont want him to have overnights if he is homeless...how is that too much to ask? how is that not in the best interest of the child?

YOU are going to have to bring a copy of his criminal report. charges don't count. only convictions. YOU need to present to the court a parenting plan that starts off with supervised visitation, then for all day visitations, working it's way back to overnight visitation. give it a six month length for progression. YOU are the custodial parent. you are the one at the high standard. dad doesn't have to be employed or housed. sleeping on couches is acceptable. denying dad time right from the start looks bad on you. plain and simple. so don't do that. you can ask for requirements. if dad has actually been convicted of drug use, request random drug testing. request no drugs or alcohol use 12 hours prior to visitation and during the visitation time. you can request no driving with the child until his license is reissues and insurance is applied per state law. dad can have someong with a license drive him around with the child. if dad does not pass his drug test, unsupervised visitaion will not begin and he will have to re-petition the courts. personally, i'd ask for a six month review to see how dad is doing so it can be presented to the courts. and you can go from there.

 

[waking beauty]

YOU are going to have to bring a copy of his criminal report. charges don't count. only convictions. YOU need to present to the court a parenting plan that starts off with supervised visitation, then for all day visitations, working it's way back to overnight visitation. give it a six month length for progression. YOU are the custodial parent. you are the one at the high standard. dad doesn't have to be employed or housed. sleeping on couches is acceptable. denying dad time right from the start looks bad on you. plain and simple. so don't do that. you can ask for requirements. if dad has actually been convicted of drug use, request random drug testing. request no drugs or alcohol use 12 hours prior to visitation and during the visitation time. you can request no driving with the child until his license is reissues and insurance is applied per state law. dad can have someong with a license drive him around with the child. if dad does not pass his drug test, unsupervised visitaion will not begin and he will have to re-petition the courts. personally, i'd ask for a six month review to see how dad is doing so it can be presented to the courts. and you can go from there.

this is the best answer ive gotten all day...thank u very much...a couch is really acceptable?? i thought a child had to have their own room if they are to do over nights?

 

[Just Blue]

this is the best answer ive gotten all day...thank u very much...a couch is really acceptable?? i thought a child had to have their own room if they are to do over nights?

So by that "logic" if you and the ex had 7 children together he would need a 7 bedroom home just for the RIGHT to see his children??

 

[Isis1]

this is the best answer ive gotten all day...thank u very much...a couch is really acceptable?? i thought a child had to have their own room if they are to do over nights?

that's never been law. and like baystate said. it would be a really screwy thing to do. it sounds like you were confusing foster care standards with the standards of a blood related family non state provided. if that were the case, it would be even higher for the custodial parent. i have four kids...it would mean i was screwed. good thing there is no law and i AM allowed to have bunk beds.

 

[waking beauty]

that's never been law. and like baystate said. it would be a really screwy thing to do. it sounds like you were confusing foster care standards with the standards of a blood related family non state provided. if that were the case, it would be even higher for the custodial parent. i have four kids...it would mean i was screwed. good thing there is no law and i AM allowed to have bunk beds.

i understand...but my concern is that he doesnt have his own apartment. he stays with people. i could understand the couch thing being ok if it were his own apartment but its not his place. he goes from house to house

 

[Isis1]

i understand...but my concern is that he doesnt have his own apartment. he stays with people. i could understand the couch thing being ok if it were his own apartment but its not his place. he goes from house to house

still NO! there are very few times i want to give a person a real good shaking sometimes.