Fathers Who Have Custody

[anonymous27]

What is the name of your state? FL

IS there any father's here that were awarded full custody of their kids. I know alot of states say it's all about the mothers. I would like to hear your story and where are u located. I am trying to fight my ex wife but she took off with my kids after them living with me for about a year. And she is violating a court order.... Also how much $$ did you spend... (i DO HAVE PROOF its just finding her is the hard part thanks

 

[littleones]

We are located in Ca...and my husband currently has like 86% custody (he goes to his mom's every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night) of my stepson. We actually spent very little money on it, because it ended up being that she apparently had no interest in trying to get more custody. She never bothered to show up to any of the mediations nor did she even bother to show up to the actual court hearing!

I do know that people do normally say it is hard...but it is do-able! As I am sure you have read a thousand times on this board...documenting EVERYTHING is very important!!

Best of luck, and I hope someone else might be able to be of more help!

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state? FL

IS there any father's here that were awarded full custody of their kids. I know alot of states say it's all about the mothers. I would like to hear your story and where are u located. I am trying to fight my ex wife but she took off with my kids after them living with me for about a year. And she is violating a court order.... Also how much $$ did you spend... (i DO HAVE PROOF its just finding her is the hard part thanks

Fill us in .
What kind of Orders are being violated ?
Do you have Joint Legal Custody , or legal have physical Custody , and she took them from you and took off ?

Depending on your Orders there may be other remedies .

I used an organization call Child Find Of America . You could also try Missing and Exploited children .

Once you find an address , file in Court and have her served .

 

[PickleZ]

Maryland.

I was awarded sole custody of my sons (13 & 14) when my ex was in jail. She was released in 11/2004 and promptly filed for joint custody/visitation.
The judge referred this to family court services for mediation. In the meantime, she is allowed to see them for a few hours on Wedesdays and for eight hours on Saturdays. You are experiencing one of my biggest fears in that she may just take off with the kids. She is a twice convicted felon and has nothing to lose and is angry because she lost custody. I told my lawyer my concerns and said there was not much that could be done until she actually 'kidnaps' them. This scenario is a nightmare. I wish you luck.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? FL

IS there any father's here that were awarded full custody of their kids. I know alot of states say it's all about the mothers. I would like to hear your story and where are u located. I am trying to fight my ex wife but she took off with my kids after them living with me for about a year. And she is violating a court order.... Also how much $$ did you spend... (i DO HAVE PROOF its just finding her is the hard part thanks

The others gave good advice however I will add something. Its actually pretty rare these days for a court to give full custody to either parent. Normally at least joint legal custody is ordered. Your situation may have elements that would make full custody appropriate..but just keep that in mind.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? FL

IS there any father's here that were awarded full custody of their kids. I know alot of states say it's all about the mothers. I would like to hear your story and where are u located. I am trying to fight my ex wife but she took off with my kids after them living with me for about a year. And she is violating a court order.... Also how much $$ did you spend... (i DO HAVE PROOF its just finding her is the hard part thanks

Sure I know a lot of cases. Typically one parent has custody (Mother or Father) because, either: A) During a custody trial a mediator, evaluator, GAL or judge decided which home would best suit the child's emotional and physical needs- or B) One parent agreed to the other having custody- or C) One parent did not bother to fight the other parent re; custody- or D) One of the parents was clearly unfit ie; incarcerated, found to be using illegal drugs, abused or multiply investigated for neglect/abuse.

 

[Jacobs528]

WI -- My boyfriend has his 2 children. They have joint legal custody with him having primary placement, her a visitation schedule, and her paying support (which is never seen). Depending on the circumstances, it is entirely possible for a father to gain custody. However, I do agree that courts are now much less likely to award "sole custody" to either parent. Here in the state of Wisconsin, the percentage of fathers being awarded custody (primary placement) has gone up significantly in the past couple of years. Make sure to write everything down, and do anything and everything the court and/or your attorney tell you to do. The price is high (in his case was over $10,000), but the end result of having the children and their needs being taken care of are well worth the cost. Good luck to you!

 

[carofl93]

What is the name of your state? FL

IS there any father's here that were awarded full custody of their kids. I know alot of states say it's all about the mothers. I would like to hear your story and where are u located. I am trying to fight my ex wife but she took off with my kids after them living with me for about a year. And she is violating a court order.... Also how much $$ did you spend... (i DO HAVE PROOF its just finding her is the hard part thanks

My husband has primary physical custody of his daughter. We're in Florida and the case went through Santa Rosa County (northern panhandle). The ex was allowed to move to Maine because she told the Judge she would abide by the visitation and contact orders, but she didn't. It took us a year with no contact and constant one sided visits to the court house, but the Judge finally got sick of it and awarded the physical custody to my hubby. We had a great lawyer who is located in Destin and it cost us around $5000. If you'd like more info, please PM me.

Carol

 

[stealth2]

I know several fathers who have/had (the kids are of age now) csutody of their kids.

One had adopted his wife's kids: boy 16, girl 14 when they divorced. NE

One had custody of his daughter 13 'cause his ex was too busy to be a Mom. LA

One had custody of 3 daughters (16, 14, 12) and a son (2 - still has custody of him) 'cause Mom was involved in an abusive relationship. AL

One fought for custody of his two girls (2 & 4) due to Mom's issues. He had his own issues - including a suicide attempt - but was more stable with family around than Mom. VA

One fought for custody of boy 6, girl 8 - don't recall the issues. MO

One fought for custody of 2 girls (10, 12) based on Mom's affair and PAS. CA

 

[BL]

Just to add . NY : My brother has had Custody / restraining orders against the mom of 2 girls , since a young age , due to mom's drug abused , life style , and neglect .

He finally allowed certain visitations , but as the last I knew she took off out of state with one of her many lovers .

 

[anonymous27]

What kind of Orders are being violated ?
Do you have Joint Legal Custody , or legal have physical Custody , and she took them from you and took off ?

yes we do have joint custody even though she has residential the agreement saids i could see my kids whenever i want as long as it doesnt affect his school. I have to call them 1st but she won't give me a phone number. She gave me my kids they lived with me for 9months. But now that she isn doing so good she took the kids to benifit herself. Like CS I called CS in NY and she said it would be hard for her to put me back on because it was court ordered to take me off when the kids lived with me. I dont mind paying CS but she won't tell me where she lives or her phone # she knows that I had a lawyer here in Fl and that I will fight for my kids and she knows she will probably lose. Whenever i talk to my kids they dont seem happy like they were here with me she doesn't give them attention and my kids were talking with no respect meanwhile when they were here they were very respectful. I will be hiring an attoney but she needs 2500 down. Money is not an issue but x mas was just here so in 2weeks. The lawyer thinks I have a good chance once I pay her the $ she will give me more information. I called family court in Ny and they told me I would need a lawyer. They couldn't help. I just pray that I am able to find her soon I am about to call that organization I emailed them and they said they may be able to help me and the best part is they are stationed out in Ny that's what I read on there site <Crossing my fingers>

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Arizona. After 2 1/2 years my fiance just received joint legal with primary residential. Mom gets supervised visitation in our home town with someone my fiance agrees to as supervisor. It cost whatever filing fees were and most of those were waived along with gas and time b/c Court is in moms town 200 miles away. But I will tell you it took a miracle to get what he got. Mom is sooo far gone with a drug/violent bf issue right now, but the judge here was sure to tell her after 6 months of clean random tests he would consider changing the order back to its original (that would be mom sole everything w/ dad getting visitation). So the judge still wasn't happy to make the change but he knew my fiance was the type to go to media, state rep and the public if he had to and mom tested positive for meth right there in Court on the record. So we pray for mom to get better b/c she is the childs mother but we also hope that the judge sees how well the child is doing here with dad and me when the time comes. Good Luck. Hope this helps. Dad's are getting more primary placement each day so fight the good fight.

 

[BL]

What kind of Orders are being violated ?
Do you have Joint Legal Custody , or legal have physical Custody , and she took them from you and took off ?

yes we do have joint custody even though she has residential the agreement saids i could see my kids whenever i want as long as it doesnt affect his school. I have to call them 1st but she won't give me a phone number. She gave me my kids they lived with me for 9months. But now that she isn doing so good she took the kids to benifit herself. Like CS I called CS in NY and she said it would be hard for her to put me back on because it was court ordered to take me off when the kids lived with me. I dont mind paying CS but she won't tell me where she lives or her phone # she knows that I had a lawyer here in Fl and that I will fight for my kids and she knows she will probably lose. Whenever i talk to my kids they dont seem happy like they were here with me she doesn't give them attention and my kids were talking with no respect meanwhile when they were here they were very respectful. I will be hiring an attoney but she needs 2500 down. Money is not an issue but x mas was just here so in 2weeks. The lawyer thinks I have a good chance once I pay her the $ she will give me more information. I called family court in Ny and they told me I would need a lawyer. They couldn't help. I just pray that I am able to find her soon I am about to call that organization I emailed them and they said they may be able to help me and the best part is they are stationed out in Ny that's what I read on there site <Crossing my fingers>

1 ) Did your Orders State JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY ?
2 ) Was there any Provisions about the removal of the Child(ren) from the State .
3 ) I take it FL. is where the orders were made , and you remain living there ?
4 ) How long has it been since she left FL ?
5 ) Are you low income ? If you qualify " As a poor person " you could/should look into filing in Fl . if that's where the orders were made , as a poor person .

You should run the PKPA ( Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act ) most if not all States have this under Joint Legal Custody . This is a Felony Crime with the Statutes of Limitation for filing vary by State up to 5 - 6 yrs depending on the State . Both States might charge the Offender ., and the UCCJA ( Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act ) .

You should try getting the retainer together ASAP and make arrangements for payments thereafter .

Also, you should call the Clearing House for each State for a Free Copy of their Child Abduction booklet 1-800-find - kid could give you info .

NY's Clearing House # 1-800-346-3543 FL. 1-800- 342-0821

You should also contact each State's Police Dept. Near where you are located and she is Located , and ask for copy of the Laws regarding Child Kidnapping .

You can also request for Authorization to use the FPLS ( Federal Parental Locater Service ). Persons in authority can sign it and put the info. in that sys. to try and locate her.

You might want to consider contacting your DA's Office or PD , to see if you can file a Criminal report under the PKPA , then contact the DA to see if they will sign a FPLS form and put it in the Sys ., you can also/or your Lawyer request this of the Court .

Arm your self with as much info. as you can , so you can deal with a Lawyer, weather in FL. or NY. but FL. may retain Jurisdiction if thats where the orders were made and you remain living there .

Have you consulted a FL. lawyer ? As I said if you fall in the category of " Poor person " , even if things get complicated , you have a right to give testimony in FL.

 

[SITLYNNE]

State-PA
How old are your sons?
My ex got full custody of my 14 and 9 year old last March because the oldest told the judge he wanted to live with dad. No other circumstances ever came up or were discussed. No issues to prove me unfit. He didn't have nor need any in PA. I spent almost $5000 in attorney fees and in the end my attorney told me to sign custody over. I wish I would have not even fought it. I only was humiliated and heart broken, and now I'm broke to go along with it. Each state is different, however, I am sure that they like to keep the children together.
Good Luck

 

[anonymous27]

1 ) Did your Orders State JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY ?
YES THE ORDER STATES WE HAVE LEGAL JOINT CUSTODY AND SIGNED OFF BY A JUDGE IN THE STATE OF NY
2 ) Was there any Provisions about the removal of the Child(ren) from the State .
ACTUALLY THERE WAS AN ORDER SHE PUT AGAINST ME AND THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE HER MY DAUGHTER (SHE CLAIMED I KIDNAPPED THEM. SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THIS COUNTY WITH THE CHILDREN UNTIL THE COURT DATE SO I CAN PROVE I DIDN'T KIDNAP THEM AND SHE FLED OUT OF THE STATE THE JUDGE WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE CLAIMS THE DIROVCE PAPERS ARE FROM NYC AND WOULDNT TAKE JURISDICTION
3 ) I take it FL. is where the orders were made , and you remain living there ?
OUR JOINT CUSTODY ORDER IS FROM LONG ISLAND NY AND YES I WILL REMAIN LIVING HERE
4 ) How long has it been since she left FL ?
SHE TOOK OFF WITH THE KIDS DEC 10TH 2004 SHE WAS ONLY LIVING HERE FOR 1MONTH
5 ) Are you low income ? If you qualify " As a poor person " you could/should look into filing in Fl . if that's where the orders were made , as a poor person .
I WISH I DID BUT NO I DO NOT QUALIFY AND YES I DID HAVE AN ATTONEY HERE PAID $500 FOR HER TO APPEAR AT MY COURT HEARING AND SHE WASN'T THERE SHE HAD A LAWYER THERE.

I WILL HIRE AN ATTONEY IN NY TOO SPEAK FOR ME