Feel Betrayed re Child Visitation/Custody

[kidoday]

I would still like to know how she just took the children.

 

[Reyna7]

More Info Please

We all would like more info. If she was suppose to pick them up two weeks after school got out and keep them six weeks, that would take her until Saturday and her time would be up. So if that is the case, then you need to do something ASAP.

Have you talked to the kids, do you know where they are. Is there anything at all in your papers about leaving the state and telling the other parent or give any info. Like a number where you can call.

Also how did she just go get them and from where. After 4 years, your 11 year old would not have remember much. Did she knock on the door and scream "Mommies Here...time to go" and everyone, even the oldest didn't say, "hey let me call Dad and tell him we will all be gone when he gets home and not to cook dinner!!"

 

[majep5]

This is how it worked. The kids had a visit from the grandmother (their mother's mother) At that point they talked with their mother and said they did not want to live here any longer. Their mother flew here and picked them up from a skating center that they were at. When I went to pick them up they were not there. They then took a bus from Tx to IA. I heard from them tonite and they said they didnt know how I would react to them asking to live with their mother so they did it this way. Bottom line is that the kids collaborated with their mother to leave. Next thing is that she plans on having the custody modified for her to have them. She states that she talked with police and was told to do it this way. My feeling now are that the kids are were they want to be and I dont want to cause any issues. Just feel like their mother could of at least tried to be an adult and done it differently.

Next question is if she elected not to go for child support. How do I protect myself from her going back on it. Or can she even elect not to take child support?

Also she currently lives in Canada and is supposely moving to IA. But in order for her to take the kids into Canada, to finish moving, she needs a notorized document from me stating that she has my permission. If I did that and she got them Canadian citizenship were would I be then? Would you advise me not to do that?

 

[tigger2two]

I would advise you to do what is in the "best intrest of your children". And obviously if she hasn't cared to be a part of their life after all this time ,then how can this be in the best intrest of them just to let her have them. No you can't just elect not to pay support. These are your children. You should want to pay support to make sure their needs are met. I can't tell you what is morally correct BUT...if i were you I would tell her she had best return those kids pronto or your taking her to court for contempt.

 

[theb]

you didnt actually 'say' when school got out for the kids, but let's use June 1st (school ended on a monday???)as a starting date. two weeks AFTER means June 15th

6 weeks of visitation means they should have been home JULY 27th!!! HELLO

Umm JMHO, but I would be filing charges of parental kidnapping, or what ever else. DUDE she didnt just break a few lil rules here, she left the state with your kids, get em back!

Here's something I found, might give you a bit to think about... dont know how much I agree with it...

In most states, taking a child from his or her parent with the intent to interfere with that parent's physical custody of the child (even if the taker also has custody rights) is both a crime and a violation of civil law. And it almost always violates visitation and custody orders. Usually, the parent deprived of custody can get help from the police to have the child returned and may sue the taker for damages.

The offender may also be charged with kidnapping. In many places, if the parent takes the child out of state, the crime becomes a felony. Of course, there are exceptions. Those include taking a child out of state in order to prevent imminent physical harm to the taker or the child.

Another exception is taking a child out of state when requesting custody in court, so long as the police are notified of the child's location.*that makes no sense to me butsounds like your situation*
If your ex threatens not to return the children, and you believe he or she is serious, you can file what's called an "order to show cause" in court. This will get you an emergency hearing to discuss this issue and any possible remedies, like supervised visitation or no visitation pending a court evaluation.

 

[stealth2]

So you're going to just roll over and accept the decision that 11, 14, & 16 yo kids made, which also goes against a court order? Are you nuts? If I were in your shoes, I would be going after the kids and bringing them home - and then dealing with the issues that are causing them to want to move. If they STILL would prefer to live with their mother, then a legal change of custody could be considered.

 

[Reyna7]

I stand corrected

OK, I was wrong it wasn't the 30th, but the 27th....I would go get them now. If she had handled this diiferently, then maybe, but she has not been in their lives all this time. Why now? Do not let her take them across the border.

Go get them back, file charges.....Oh unless you really don't want them either and your main concern is the money...then heck why don't you just sell them.

Sorry for doing the same thing I have accused others on here of doing,....being a smart a@@,,,,,but my God, come on.

You are their Father,,,,if you love them, then do the right thing. I tell you by not doing anything what are you showing your kids about how you feel about them. Why did they not want to live with you? Do not roll over and allow them to get away with this.

This is way too early for me to be this upset.

 

[kidoday]

Your situation sounds like my ex's. His daughter did this to him a year ago in August.

It is up to you if you roll over and let her just take the children. Just know you aren't going to have much of a life with them. How do you make children of those ages get on a plane, or in a car for summer visitation?

Don't do it this way, unless you are like my ex and don't want to spend the money on an attorney. She did steal the children without your permission. I really don't think you are going to get help with kidnapping charges since she can claim it was her right to visitation. You can I believe once she doesn't return them.

I know you are hurt that the children did this to you, however, you are still their parent and have the right to make choices in their best interest. But do it legally.

 

[BL]

If you do not demand the mother return the kids immediately after the 6 week period is up from the second week in June , you will be hit with Child Support once you allow her to have Custody . On top of that if you change your mind after , you will need to hire and pay an Attorney ,which will be expensive.

If you want the mother to take Custody, get them back first and make her Petition the court in your Jurisdiction, then come to an agreement about Custody/visitations , Etc. , and have it Ordered .

This is the correct way, the wisest way , and the best way. It will protect you and your Children's Best interest .

If she keeps them, then take the steps to get them back . The Place she claims she will file for Custody will have no authority to make a decision , unless after 6 months you do not fight it .

 

[kidoday]

If you do not demand the mother return the kids immediately after the 6 week period is up from the second week in June , you will be hit with Child Support once you allow her to have Custody

Blonde in my ex's case his ex didn't petition the courts to change custody right away, it has been a year and she is still racking up cs to him. She wasn't smart enough to file for temporary custody to get the cs stopped.

Poster. The advice Blonde gave you is great advice. Watching the situation as close as I did with my ex, I believe this is the best advice you can get.