Florida Dad Against the wall

[FrustratedInFL4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL
My 17 year old son lives with his mother (5 minutes from my home) who has custody. I have always had and exercised my visitation, have always paid child support and done what any parent would do as far as caring for my son both emotionally and finacially. Now that my son has his own vehicle his mother allows him to do whatever he wants. Staying out late, drinking, smoking pot. He was kicked out of high school last year for fighting. I know that he has enrolled in the community college program for his GED, was kicked out of there and now is in a program for troubled kids. Since the driver's license and the car my son visits when he wants, he doesn't listen to me at all as in his mind his mother is in charge. I have tried to speak with her to ask her to back me up. When it is my weekend he is to come to my house. She won't enforce this, she doesn't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to. My hands are tied. Now I find out that she is going to court for more child support. Listen, I have no problem taking care of my son but come on...more money for him to run the streets and be a moron, fighting frinking and doping...I have no say so over his discipline???? Not only that but we all know how the economy is, I get paid by the hour...I'm not pulling the 65 - 70 hours per week I used to, I am lucky if I clear 40. I also have a step son I am helping support and my wife and I are doing our best to help our 13 year old neice get out of foster care in Texas (we have applied for temp guardianship).
Do I have any rights here or do I have to just suck it up and take whatever the judge passes out? ANy advice is appreciated.

 

[Zephyr]

when does your son turn 18? what is frinking? who owns the car? who sponsored his DL? who pays his car insurance? what does your court order say about when cs stops? when was the last cs review? has your income gon down since the last review?

 

[ConcerndStepmom]

Also if he is no longer in school how has he been able to keep his license?

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Great questions...His mother purchased the vehicle when he turned 16 and she sponsored his DL and she pays for the insurance. I did not help her pay for the truck as he was caught drinking with friends (he was dumb enough to post pictures of the act on his my space) and I was not going to reward bad behavior. Frincking (Drinking...sorry). The original paper work states child support is to be paid through the court by me, I have every other weekend and wweekly visitation, which she won't can't enforce. When I completed the financial afidavit I was getting my hours in, that was in January...not the case now. I also paid $2,250.00 for Ivisiline Braces that she stated he had to have. Any input is appreciated. Also, the program I am told he is in now is for troubled youths..I am assuming because he is there that is why he stil has his DL. He will be 18 in March of 2009.

 

[LdiJ]

Great questions...His mother purchased the vehicle when he turned 16 and she sponsored his DL and she pays for the insurance. I did not help her pay for the truck as he was caught drinking with friends (he was dumb enough to post pictures of the act on his my space) and I was not going to reward bad behavior. Frincking (Drinking...sorry). The original paper work states child support is to be paid through the court by me, I have every other weekend and wweekly visitation, which she won't can't enforce. When I completed the financial afidavit I was getting my hours in, that was in January...not the case now. I also paid $2,250.00 for Ivisiline Braces that she stated he had to have. Any input is appreciated. Also, the program I am told he is in now is for troubled youths..I am assuming because he is there that is why he stil has his DL. He will be 18 in March of 2009.

Here is the problem:

Your son will turn 18 in about 5 months. Once he turns 18, whether he is done with school or not, whether child support is done or not, the courts will no longer have any jurisdiction of him for custody or visitation issues.

You can absolutely take mom to court. However, its going to cost you time and money, and you may not even get a final ruling from the judge before 5 months are up. Even if you could get the ideal thing to happen, and manage to get an emergency order for a custody change in a fairly short time, you will have less than 5 months to try to turn anything around with him, and then he will be free to turn right around and return to mom's.

Unfortunately, that is what you are up against when you are dealing with an older teenager and a parent who won't be on the same page with you with discipline.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Thanks, I appreciate your input. It won't due for me to take her back to court, by the time it went in front of a judge and she played her hand, he'll be 18 on on his way to where ever. Now, 5 months till he is 18, will the judge or GM take into account my decrease in hours, his bad behavior, the fact he has been kicked out of school two times and is now in a different program? What about the fact that he won't see me? Will any of these circumstances be looked at? One more question I just thought of, should his mother in fact be awarded an increase, what is the start date...the day of the hearing or the day she filed? Thank you one and all.....

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, I appreciate your input. It won't due for me to take her back to court, by the time it went in front of a judge and she played her hand, he'll be 18 on on his way to where ever. Now, 5 months till he is 18, will the judge or GM take into account my decrease in hours, his bad behavior, the fact he has been kicked out of school two times and is now in a different program? What about the fact that he won't see me? Will any of these circumstances be looked at? One more question I just thought of, should his mother in fact be awarded an increase, what is the start date...the day of the hearing or the day she filed? Thank you one and all.....

If you can prove your decrease in income that will certainly be taken into consideration, as long as that decrease happened after your last child support modification. None of the rest of it will be looked at for a child support calculation.

However, for example, if you were making 28k when the last modification went into place, and then 5 years later you were making 45k, and then now you are making 35k, its still an increase over the last calculation.

Child support increases usually go back to the date of filing.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Now what? I got served!

Well, I was finally served today with papers from the Family Division. I have 20 days to reply or I lose my case. So here are my questions:

1.) My income has changed since the first financial Affidavit I completed in 01/2008. When I complete a new one do I just send it with my responce or can I also put a statement in as well?

2.) As stated before, my son had to have invisiline braces which were close to $6,500.00. I was able to get on a supplimental dental plan which decreased the amount to $4,500.00, I then paid half of that directly to the dentist. Now she is asking that I pay half of the monthly premium that she agreed she would pay. So between the supplimental insurance $250.00 and my portion of the braces $2,250.00, is it possible I will be ordered to pay her half of her monthly payment that she had to have financed?

3.) She asked me to sign an agreement that states I and she agree that I will pay a total of $400.00 in child support per month ( I did sign this, she mailed me a copy that was notorized..I didn't sign in front of a notary) and 1/2 of the monthy premium for the braces. This was signed and she was to have the verbage corrected showing that I had already paid my portion. Am I screwed here as well?

4.) Would it make any difference if I were to include his school record or lack there of, proof he was kicked out of two educational programs and the photo's of him doing beer bongs?

5.) Can I file a motion of contempt since she refuses to enforce visitation?

I just can't beleive this! Why now? He is almost 18 years old. I could see if she needed modification when he was younger, but geeshe. Another thing, I have no problem with an increase in child support, what I am terrified of is getting slapped with $800.00 a month...I can't afford that! Any advice is appreciated.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Anyone out there?

SOme advice, anyone???

 

[TheGeekess]

SOme advice, anyone???

You know what, Dude? We volunteer to do this. We have our own jobs to take care of. Sorry that you didn't get an answer in the time frame that you were wanting one, but....

 

[Silverplum]

You know what, Dude? We volunteer to do this. We have our own jobs to take care of. Sorry that you didn't get an answer in the time frame that you were wanting one, but....

And the FL posters tend to come here in the evenings.

Patience for the freebies, man.

 

[Gracie3787]

Well, I was finally served today with papers from the Family Division. I have 20 days to reply or I lose my case. So here are my questions:

1.) My income has changed since the first financial Affidavit I completed in 01/2008. When I complete a new one do I just send it with my responce or can I also put a statement in as well?

2.) As stated before, my son had to have invisiline braces which were close to $6,500.00. I was able to get on a supplimental dental plan which decreased the amount to $4,500.00, I then paid half of that directly to the dentist. Now she is asking that I pay half of the monthly premium that she agreed she would pay. So between the supplimental insurance $250.00 and my portion of the braces $2,250.00, is it possible I will be ordered to pay her half of her monthly payment that she had to have financed?

3.) She asked me to sign an agreement that states I and she agree that I will pay a total of $400.00 in child support per month ( I did sign this, she mailed me a copy that was notorized..I didn't sign in front of a notary) and 1/2 of the monthy premium for the braces. This was signed and she was to have the verbage corrected showing that I had already paid my portion. Am I screwed here as well?

4.) Would it make any difference if I were to include his school record or lack there of, proof he was kicked out of two educational programs and the photo's of him doing beer bongs?

5.) Can I file a motion of contempt since she refuses to enforce visitation?

I just can't beleive this! Why now? He is almost 18 years old. I could see if she needed modification when he was younger, but geeshe. Another thing, I have no problem with an increase in child support, what I am terrified of is getting slapped with $800.00 a month...I can't afford that! Any advice is appreciated.

1. You should file/serve the amended financial affidavit with your answer.

2. It's possible, but you should be sure to bring the issue up in court.

3. No, your agreement can be changed by the court.

4. Bring all of that evidence to court in case ex asks for CS to continue past 18th birthday.

5. Yes, you can file for contempt, but it probably wouldn't be heard until after age 18 so it might be a waste of time and it might confuse the CS issues.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Thank You Gracie3787

I really want to thank you for taking time to reply. The advice is great and I will use it when getting everything prepared. Sorry I have not replied sooner, father had heart attack and open heart, just got back into town.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

TheGeekess?

You know what, Dude? We volunteer to do this. We have our own jobs to take care of. Sorry that you didn't get an answer in the time frame that you were wanting one, but....

Why would you even bother wasting your time to write this? Would it not have been easier to give someone who is nervous about their future the benefit of the doubt as far as patience go.

 

[FrustratedInFL4]

Silverplum...

And the FL posters tend to come here in the evenings.

Patience for the freebies, man.

Thank you for letting me know that FL is usually in the afternoon, I will keep that in mind in the future and be more patient. I see how that apparentley upsets you senior members. Thanks for the eye roll