Florida form for requesting venue in potential custoday case

[Ohiogal]

Whoever originally posted this, thank you. I am putting this up where I will see it every day and remember those words because it gets so hard NOT to hate more than we love but so important to LOVE more than we hate.

Truthfully I think that was me -- not that Weenor doesn't give good advice because Weenor does. I have told all my clients from day one -- LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE THAN YOU HATE YOUR EX! - and have posted that on here more than once.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh come on guys, it certainly sounds to me that "we" means "We want to support our daughter what needs to be done".
How many times I read these "legal advice" answers and it's as if the one who is answering only wants to pass judgement and make comments that are, not only unhelpful, but hurtful.
I have read and read here "as a stepmother, you have no say, as a grandparent you have no say, and it goes on and on.
The reality of most court situations is that judges DO listen to what these people have to say, during hearings/trials. I truly thought that - based on reading here over and over - that anyone other than the actual parents have nothing to do with what happens with the child. Boy did I have a wake up call at the courts. A whole suit was filed, naming the stepmother..get this..47 times in the space of 52 pages. The whole suit was based on the stepmother not having access to her stepchild (whom had spent approx. 30 days total time(intermittently) with over a two year period. The judge let it go through! (eventually it didn't fly, but it took a lot of money and time).
So - as you all know, the law says..but the reality is..
Please ease up on the grandparents at least, it certainly sounds to me like they are gathering info for their daughter and we have very little information to go on. Most families stick together and support each other throughout things like this, so yes, it is "we", if you read it in the spirit it is written. Moreover, the grandparents are probably supporting daughter, and will pay for her legal requirements. So other than emotional, they do have a vested interest. Give them a break. The question was simple and straightforward, stop passing judgement.
As I've been reminded over and over..it's Legal Advice...not "My feeling about you is that YOU are...you don't... Give people a break and try to remember that a lot of this is information gathering and leave it at that..sheesh..now I am open to the bashers that are going to come after me, but please do it in a new thread entitled "Noelle is too empathetic for her own good".

And my advice was LEGAL advice. Grandma and grandpa can be as sympathetic as they want to be. HOWEVER, they have no legal standing here. This is between their daughter and their granddaughter's father. NOT them. The judge would have let that law suit through however it went no where. And this is about the law. Not about empathy and not about sympathy and not about what "we" might think makes sense. They don't have a vested LEGAL interest. If they go into court with that attitude, they can HURT their daughter's case.

 

[ceara19]

And my advice was LEGAL advice. Grandma and grandpa can be as sympathetic as they want to be. HOWEVER, they have no legal standing here. This is between their daughter and their granddaughter's father. NOT them. The judge would have let that law suit through however it went no where. And this is about the law. Not about empathy and not about sympathy and not about what "we" might think makes sense. They don't have a vested LEGAL interest. If they go into court with that attitude, they can HURT their daughter's case.

Not only should the grandparents not interject themselves into the LEGAL issues, it is a bad idea to do ANYTHING above telling their child that they will be there for them and they will support whatever decision they make. I have seen too many cases where relationship problems occur and the adult children go to mom & dad for support. Then mom & dad are inclined to try and do whatever they can to make their own child feel better. Many times that involves saying things like, "Don't worry about him, we consider nothing more then a sperm donor anyway" and equally derogatory comments.

No matter how bad the relationship seems now, it may only be temporary. Making derogatory comments about the ex can end up biting the GP's in the butt if they couple reconciles or even just find a way to be friends in order to better raise THEIR child. The comments made by the grandparent cannot be undone. I have seen many grandparents shut out of their own children and grandchildren's lives because they were trying to "help".

 

[Ohiogal]

Not only should the grandparents not interject themselves into the LEGAL issues, it is a bad idea to do ANYTHING above telling their child that they will be there for them and they will support whatever decision they make. I have seen too many cases where relationship problems occur and the adult children go to mom & dad for support. Then mom & dad are inclined to try and do whatever they can to make their own child feel better. Many times that involves saying things like, "Don't worry about him, we consider nothing more then a sperm donor anyway" and equally derogatory comments.

No matter how bad the relationship seems now, it may only be temporary. Making derogatory comments about the ex can end up biting the GP's in the butt if they couple reconciles or even just find a way to be friends in order to better raise THEIR child. The comments made by the grandparent cannot be undone. I have seen many grandparents shut out of their own children and grandchildren's lives because they were trying to "help".

Which Ceara I hope the poster listens to.

 

[ceara19]

Which Ceara I hope the poster listens to.

It was something I learned from my mother. During my divorce (and for quite a while after) she said an unkind word about the ex and she never "sided" with me on any of the issues. She listened, consoled, support, helped, etc. while staying neutral. The way she was acting really ticked me off until I finally just ASKED her why she didn't feel the need to side with her own child. I must admit, I'm very lucky to have such a wise mother.