Fly SOLO?

[mistoffolees]

YOu are NOT an medical professional who can render a professional opinion on your own child. Sorry but that is not allowable in court. So perspective does not change.

More importantly, even if she DID have a qualified diagnosis from a medical professional that traveling across country was stressful for the child, it wouldn't change the eventual outcome. Rather, it would mean that Mom and Dad would have to find some other way to get the child across country - like one of the parents going with the child.

 

[Knowalot]

New Order

Since summer 2011 is quite a long way off, you might consider filing for a new long distance visitation order and request some kind of step up order to reacquaint child with him if he hasn't seen her for 30 months. That's a long time in a now 7 year old's life to fly 5 hours to stay months with a dad she probably won't even recognize. See what your attorney says about this approach.

 

[PQN]

It doesn't sound like you have to do anything. If your current order says that dad gets the child for one weekend per month and that he must travel to pick up and return the child, then you do not need to do anything.

Given that dad has not seen his child in 2 years, if he files for a modification, then file a response asking for a graduated plan so that the child can get to know him again.

And if he works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week -- when is he going to see his daughter, even if she is in his house???

As far as your daughter's anxiety, just reassure her that you will not be putting her on a plane by herself; that you are talking with daddy about other options for him to see her.

 

[ra04152010]

WOW.This custody thing really has no rhyme or reason huh guys. I saw one post on here where a judge decided a child about this age could not walk 10 houses alone from bus stop to dad's house. Now it may be just fine for a 7 year old to fly alone to meet an almost stranger. Not saying one is right and one is wrong just thinking about what a big gap there seems to be in family court.

 

[MacKennaLaw]

It doesn't sound like you have to do anything. If your current order says that dad gets the child for one weekend per month and that he must travel to pick up and return the child, then you do not need to do anything.

Given that dad has not seen his child in 2 years, if he files for a modification, then file a response asking for a graduated plan so that the child can get to know him again.

And if he works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week -- when is he going to see his daughter, even if she is in his house???

As far as your daughter's anxiety, just reassure her that you will not be putting her on a plane by herself; that you are talking with daddy about other options for him to see her.

This is actually good advice, both legally and as a parent.

You say that you are Nevada, and your ex is in Georgia. Where was the divorce granted? That state probably still has jurisdiction over your child's custody issues.

 

[gasgirl]

Divorce was in Nevada.

Even though the last parenting agreement said a new agreement was to be written when the child started school, I simply haven't the time, money and patience to go through the telephone conferences. He is a hot-head when he is told "NO", and will scream and shout (he even hung up in one call with a mediator).

So I presume that, unless he files for a new parenting agreement (unlikely, as he chooses to spend his money on expensive wine), then I can hold him to the prior agreement, which stipulates he is responsible for coming to get the child, and returning the child to me. I thought I was being GENEROUS to offer to fly the child out to him, if he would come back.

Even if he was given some sort of "reacquaintance" schedule, he wouldn't take it. I got all set up on SKYPE, at his request, and he calls every 2-3 months. I was away for 5 days and called every day...

The underlying question with this thread, was- Is there any legally pressing reason I cannot just insist on continuation of prior order and disregard his request to send her alone to him?

I HAVE told him that when I do think she is ready, I would be more than happy to put her on a plane...but this barely 7 year old child (who is the size of a 3 year-old, and can't get on a regular toilet by herself) is not ready.

 

[mistoffolees]

The underlying question with this thread, was- Is there any legally pressing reason I cannot just insist on continuation of prior order and disregard his request to send her alone to him?

I'm not so sure that 'insist' is the right word.

You can act like the old order remains in effect (and it probably does).

If he objects, he's going to have to file in court for a change in the order - which saves you the filing cost.

 

[gasgirl]

Thank YOU!

Just wanted to make sure I wouldn't get any sort of contempt order or some other nonsense.

I have NEVER prohibited from seeing or talking to the child, nor would I.

 

[milspecgirl]

Divorce was in Nevada.

but this barely 7 year old child (who is the size of a 3 year-old, and can't get on a regular toilet by herself) is not ready.

really???? she cant get on a toilet herself???? how does she handle it at school?

 

[stealth2]

As I recall from the elementary schools my kids were in, they have smaller (shorter) toilets.

 

[acmb05]

Typically, at 8 an unaccompanied minor can book a connecting flight. They will be attended during the connection.

Typically, but not all airlines. Below is a list of airlines and cost involved for an accompanied minor 5 years old and up.
Airline Nonstop Connecting

American $100 $100

AirTran $39 $59

Continental $100 $100

Delta $100 $100

JetBlue $75 Not allowed for children under 15

Southwest $50 Not allowed for children under 12

United $99 $99

US Airways $100 Not allowed for children under 15

 

[acmb05]

really???? she cant get on a toilet herself???? how does she handle it at school?

Alternative education schooling is one I could think of where they help the child. There are different types of school than regular public school you know, ones that cater to kids with disabilities.

 

[milspecgirl]

i just think it's interesting that she didn't bring up any disability until she was informed a judge could make her put the child on a plane. now, she's disabled? before she was just "not ready".

OP- you really need to file for a long distance plan. Also- I would ask that dad pay all transportation and that child not be allowed to fly alone until her medical Dr (due to the disability) states that it is ok. Also, ask for a clause where if dad goes longer than x amount of time with visitation that any extended visitation will be graduated to allow time for child to get reacquainted. otherwise you could find yourself forced to ship her off for 2 months in the summer with someone she hasn't heard from in 9 months.

 

[Nevergrowup]

i just think it's interesting that she didn't bring up any disability until she was informed a judge could make her put the child on a plane. now, she's disabled? before she was just "not ready".

OP- you really need to file for a long distance plan. Also- I would ask that dad pay all transportation and that child not be allowed to fly alone until her medical Dr (due to the disability) states that it is ok. Also, ask for a clause where if dad goes longer than x amount of time with visitation that any extended visitation will be graduated to allow time for child to get reacquainted. otherwise you could find yourself forced to ship her off for 2 months in the summer with someone she hasn't heard from in 9 months.

Maybe I missed it, but where did OP say the child is disabled? Having a tiny child doesn't have to mean disabled. I have 11 year old twins...the girl is over a head shorter than her brother and she is also smaller than my 5 year old. She had a lot of trouble reaching things, and still does, but she is NOT disabled. She is a peanut, but a level 5 competitive cheerleader and is stronger than her twin who is "normal" size.

Also, as a parent of a child that flew alone at 7...there is NO WAY I'd ever in a million years put my child on a flight where a change of plane is required. There are way too many potential problems with that second flight. Airline attendents are often underpaid and planes often seem understaffed for passenger capacity...I would not trust some unknown airline empoyee to properly supervise a small child for a connection

 

[mistoffolees]

Maybe I missed it, but where did OP say the child is disabled? Having a tiny child doesn't have to mean disabled. I have 11 year old twins...the girl is over a head shorter than her brother and she is also smaller than my 5 year old. She had a lot of trouble reaching things, and still does, but she is NOT disabled. She is a peanut, but a level 5 competitive cheerleader and is stronger than her twin who is "normal" size.

I have an ex-SD who's 4'8" - full grown - and perfectly healthy.

Also, as a parent of a child that flew alone at 7...there is NO WAY I'd ever in a million years put my child on a flight where a change of plane is required. There are way too many potential problems with that second flight. Airline attendents are often underpaid and planes often seem understaffed for passenger capacity...I would not trust some unknown airline empoyee to properly supervise a small child for a connection

Most airlines won't let a kid take a connecting flight until they're 8 (or older on some airlines as acmb pointed out). All we know is that the child is 7 now, we don't know if he'll be 8 before the next need to fly comes up. We also don't know if a connection is needed between the two cities.

But it really doesn't matter. If the court orders Mom to get the child to Dad (or vice versa), and they're unwilling or unable to let the child go unattended, then they'd better go on the flight with the child - or face contempt.