Fraternity harassment and no contact order from main harasser

[stealth2]

I swear this sounds like high school.

 

[stealth2]

If it's the school I think it is, it is hardly small, with an enrollment of over 10,000. You want "small"? Go to the college my youngest attends - enrollment is ~500. Yes - five HUNDRED over all four undergrad years. THAT is small.

By the time you go to college/university, you are an adult - time to act like one. If the "clique" you aligned yourself with no longer wants to associate with you? Find a new group of friends. Surely there is someone in the >10,000 students you can make friends with.

My youngest had a similar problem with a young man. Can't tell you how many calls I got with her in tears. Trouble with the guys from his team, the girls from hers as a result. She sucked it up and toughed it out. Made her a better and stronger woman. And found her a wonderful young man (who used to be friends with leprechaun boy) who would move heaven and earth for her.

Seriously - go to the study groups, get your presence marked, and carry on. Find new friends. Greek life really ain't all that.

 

[FlyingRon]

Maybe the frat is on double secret probation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, someone put up a text they recieved from the person with a no contact order who is in the class on our blackboard (group study files) and warned everyone that they would be targeted too if I was allowed to come to the university sponsored study group. The study session leader took it down and said it was irrelevant and I was allowed that this wasn't ok blah blah blah but I was told by several people not to show up because they didn't want to deal with the consequences of me being there

So why didn't you go?

 

[DeenaCA]

The school's response seems inadequate since it hasn't stopped the harassment. Please consider filing a complaint with the Department of Education. Instructions and useful info are at http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-on-campus/campus-sexual-assault/.

 

[tranquility]

The school's response seems inadequate since it hasn't stopped the harassment. Please consider filing a complaint with the Department of Education. Instructions and useful info are at http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-on-campus/campus-sexual-assault/.

What is it you feel is harassing?

 

[DeenaCA]

What is it you feel is harassing?

It sure sounds like hostile environment and retaliation. I'm shocked that the consensus of the thread seemed to be that the poster should just suck it up. Even worse, posters suggested that the harassment was somehow the poster's own fault or that she was withholding part of the story that would have shown she deserved it. Ai yi yi.

There's a lot of information available on this topic. For example, the link I posted to the American Association of University Women's site. For another example, see the DOE memo on harassment and bullying under Title IX at http://www2.ed.gov/policy/speced/guid/idea/letters/2010-4/ocrcolleague102610harassbully4q2010.pdf, particularly the section on sexual harassment. It contains the following example:

Shortly after enrolling at a new high school, a female student had a brief romance with another student. After the couple broke up, other male and female students began routinely calling the new student sexually charged names, spreading rumors about her sexual behavior, and sending her threatening text messages and e‐mails. One of the student’s teachers and an athletic coach witnessed the name calling and heard the rumors, but identified it as “hazing” that new students often experience. They also noticed the new student’s anxiety and declining class participation. The school attempted to resolve the situation by requiring the student to work the problem out directly with her harassers.

Had the school addressed the harassment consistent with Title IX, the school would have, for example, conducted a thorough investigation and taken interim measures to separate the student from the accused harassers. An effective response also might have included training students and employees on the school’s policies related to harassment, instituting new procedures by which employees should report allegations of harassment, and more widely distributing the contact information for the district’s Title IX coordinator. The school also might have offered the targeted student tutoring, other academic assistance, or counseling as necessary to remedy the effects of the harassment.

 

[tranquility]

It sure sounds like hostile environment and retaliation. I'm shocked that the consensus of the thread seemed to be that the poster should just suck it up. Even worse, posters suggested that the harassment was somehow the poster's own fault or that she was withholding part of the story that would have shown she deserved it. Ai yi yi.

Again, what behavior do you think is harassing?

And, yes, I think the poster should just suck it up. I might say more if I knew the facts of both sides. But on what has been said, I think suck it up is a legally sound strategy.

The main complaint seems that the person that obtained a no contact order against the OP is telling those in the fraternity to not associate with the OP. In fact, in a couple of cases the others told the OP to leave because the person who has a protective order against her may show up. In those instances, we have a neutral and detached magistrate (I assume) who found a legal reason to ORDER the OP stay away or contact the other party and a school who is supporting that court order by taking proactive steps after at least a hearing of the OP's position.

The only issue that does not seem in violation of a court order are people telling friends they should not associate with the OP. With a bunch of money, the OP might be able to get enough evidence the reason is pure nastiness rather than a good faith effort to keep friends away from a person who their friend has a protection order against. First amendment freedom of association and all that.

Ai yi yi indeed.

 

[DeenaCA]

It doesn't sound like there are any actual court orders. The OP may be referring to something issued by the school:

The department he filed the 'no contact' order with is a part of the same department that I filed the harassment with, and when I went in to talk about why they were doing this they admitted they didn't even run the name in the system to see if he had been in it before. They said 'I'll get back to you' and I haven't heard from them in a week.

What I gathered is that the accused "main" harasser made some claim to actually be the victim, and that the school has informally ordered both parties to stay away from each other. No wise old magistrate involved.

The OP's story seems similar to the example of sexual harassment in DOE's memo. If no harassment occurred, then no harm will be done if the OP files a DOE complaint as I suggested.

ETA:

Your school can issue a no contact directive under Title IX to prevent the accused student from approaching or interacting with you. When necessary for student safety, schools can issue a no contact directive preventing an accused student from directly or indirectly contacting or interacting with you. Campus security or police can and should enforce such directives. This is not a court-issued restraining order, but a school should provide you with information on how to obtain such an order and facilitate that process if you choose to pursue it.

http://knowyourix.org/dealing-with/dealing-with-university-issued-no-contact-orders/

 

[quincy]

It doesn't sound like there are any actual court orders. The OP may be referring to something issued by the school:


What I gathered is that the accused "main" harasser made some claim to actually be the victim, and that the school has informally ordered both parties to stay away from each other. No wise old magistrate involved.

The OP's story seems similar to the example of sexual harassment in DOE's memo. If no harassment occurred, then no harm will be done if the OP files a DOE complaint as I suggested.

For what it's worth, I agree with your assessment, DeenaCA.

I think that it would be smart for t24d to file a complaint with the DOE.