Girlfriend's soon to be ex husbsnd making life extremely difficult.

[xylene]

There Is no such thing as love.

Consequences however are quite real.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

There Is no such thing as love.

But I thought you loved dogs? or was it cats?

 

[stealth2]

Oh, xy..... (SKIP ADs!!!)

from a

 

[n1x1n]

Very mature responses and attacks coming from people who don't know the full story. All I did was ask for advice. Perhaps I left out the part that she's been separated with him since November. That I myself, encouraged her to try and fix her marriage with him for the sake of the kids. But just how long can you pretend to be in love, when you're not...?

Your opinions of me are quite irrelevant. I know I'm a good person. I made a mistake over 2 years ago and it was completely my fault. Nobody else's fault but mine. But I own up to my mistakes. That's part of being accountable. All of you on here criticizing me act like you're so perfect, when we know you're not. Nobody is.

All I wanted was a sincere opinion. Instead, you're judging me for having a criminal background. How pathetic are you? Again... like I said... intersectionality at its finest. But I'm betting most of you don't even know what that is.

Oh and for the person who said that her and I should give full custody of our children to the other parent? Keep dreaming. That'll never happen. Perhaps my story hit too close to home with you? Brought back memories of your old girlfriend cheating on you? I'm sorry, that was not the intention of this post.

 

[Just Blue]

Very mature responses and attacks coming from people who don't know the full story. All I did was ask for advice. Perhaps I left out the part that she's been separated with him since November. That I myself, encouraged her to try and fix her marriage with him for the sake of the kids. But just how long can you pretend to be in love, when you're not...?

Your opinions of me are quite irrelevant. I know I'm a good person. I made a mistake over 2 years ago and it was completely my fault. Nobody else's fault but mine. But I own up to my mistakes. That's part of being accountable. All of you on here criticizing me act like you're so perfect, when we know you're not. Nobody is.

All I wanted was a sincere opinion. Instead, you're judging me for having a criminal background. How pathetic are you? Again... like I said... intersectionality at its finest. But I'm betting most of you don't even know what that is.

Oh and for the person who said that her and I should give full custody of our children to the other parent? Keep dreaming. That'll never happen. Perhaps my story hit too close to home with you? Brought back memories of your old girlfriend cheating on you? I'm sorry, that was not the intention of this post.

I actually gave you excellent advice. Stay away from the hearing. Seriously...unless you were subpoenaed to appear...Stay away.

 

[n1x1n]

I actually gave you excellent advice. Stay away from the hearing. Seriously...unless you were subpoenaed to appear...Stay away.

Thank you. And I sincerely appreciate that. And I will do just that.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you. And I sincerely appreciate that. And I will do just that.

You should also re-read the other postings on your thread...do so from an objective standpoint. Everything stated was legally accurate.

 

[stealth2]

she's been separated with him since November.

Leave the kids out of it. Cupcake should focus on her kids and healing from her divorce (not separation). The kids - all five of them - deserve better..

 

[n1x1n]

Leave the kids out of it. Cupcake should focus on her kids and healing from her divorce (not separation). The kids - all five of them - deserve better..

Who are you to refer to my girlfriend as "cupcake"? How disrespectful. Can't leave the kids out of it can we? We want to move in together...

No healing needed. She hasn't been in love with him for years... Was brave enough to finally separate with him last November. The kids, all five of them, deserve better based on what? What makes you say that?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Can't leave the kids out of it can we?

No, but she can and probably should leave out a live-in boyfriend with a DV conviction.

 

[n1x1n]

No, but she can and probably should leave out a live-in boyfriend with a DV conviction.

Why is that? You think people with a DV conviction can be good people? =)

 

[stealth2]

Can't leave the kids out of it can we? We want to move in together...

Yes, you can. By being adults and putting the children ahead of your sex lives. Knock boots while her kids are with Dad and yours are with their Mom. Surely, you can control yourselves enough for that?

 

[Just Blue]

Why is that? You think people with a DV conviction can be good people? =)

Most people, who don't put their spouse in the hospital, consider spouse abusers to be bad people. You must have caused considerable damage to your ex to get a felony.

 

[n1x1n]

Most people, who don't put their spouse in the hospital, consider spouse abusers to be bad people. You must have caused considerable damage to your ex to get a felony.

I won't minimize it. It was bad enough that I ended up with an open-ended felony, correct. A felony no more, since it is now a misdemeanor, but nonetheless, I will not minimize it. What I did was bad. No she was not at the hospital. It's understandable that you think the absolute worse in terms of what a DV conviction is. But you would be AMAZED how easily you can get a DV conviction.

Yes, what I did to my ex wife is unacceptable, but the fact of the matter is, she is finally at peace with what happened and out of her own will, dismissed the restraining order she had in place for me, instead of letting it expire and not renewing it. That's what patience and accountability will get you. I've learned so much during my 26 week program.

To Stealth2: Sex lives huh? You think this is about sex? Although I will not deny the fact that the sex is out of this world, it has nothing to do with "the sex". We are both in love. We both proudly served in the US Army, have so much in common, and we fell in love and there's not stopping that. I must say again, that when her and I were just friends, I highly encouraged her to try and fix her marriage. But you cannot fix what isn't fixable. She has been unhappy for a VERY long time and stayed with him because of their children.

 

[not2cleverRed]

We live in Arizona, and my girlfriend is going through a divorce with her soon to be ex husband. They have 3 children, teenagers or older. My girlfriend and I are planning on moving in together, and they share the children 50/50, one week at a time. I myself have 2 children. One 12 and the other 3 years old.
I have a domestic violence background. Almost 2 and a half years ago, I was in a physical altercation with my ex wife, which landed me an open ended felony. I was given 3 years of probation, 26 weeks of dv classes, and 3 months of drug and alcohol testing, in addition to fees and such. I am fully responsible for what happened, I am holding myself accountable for it. Due to good behavior and completion of everything else, my probation is ending a year and a half early, which is coming up very soon.
That being said, the soon to be ex husband of my girlfriend has pushed for temporary orders against me and their children. I am currently not allowed around them, which makes things extremely difficult for us to move in together. My girlfriend and I both know he is doing this out of jealousy. I can understand that. He's got a lawyer, and my girlfriend is representing herself in court.
Now I get it, a lot of you will say perhaps your relationship with her is frowned upon since they had just separated and are now divorcing. Yes I get, but it's also not against the law for us to be in a relationship.
My girlfriend and I are drained, exhausted, and we just don't know what to do, short of hiring a lawyer for this process which will cost us a good 10 to 15K.
Can anybody help us, or have any good inputs that could help us for our upcoming hearing.

You are still on probation.

Even if.

Even if you believe that you will end your probation early, until that day comes, "very soon" is not now. In fact, given the attitude you have displayed here, I suspect you are "counting you chickens before they hatch."

If I were Dad, I would not want my children potentially endangered by such drama, and I would hope my lawyer would do everything legally possible to protect my children from the potentially dangerous situation.

Exposing a child to DV is abuse.

I mean, sure, your girlfriend can move in with you tomorrow. She just won't see much of her kids if she does that. But you know, not having the kids around is a plus in a new romance - more opportunity for hanky panky.

Very mature responses and attacks coming from people who don't know the full story. All I did was ask for advice. Perhaps I left out the part that she's been separated with him since November. That I myself, encouraged her to try and fix her marriage with him for the sake of the kids. But just how long can you pretend to be in love, when you're not...?

Your opinions of me are quite irrelevant. I know I'm a good person. I made a mistake over 2 years ago and it was completely my fault. Nobody else's fault but mine. But I own up to my mistakes. That's part of being accountable. All of you on here criticizing me act like you're so perfect, when we know you're not. Nobody is.

All I wanted was a sincere opinion. Instead, you're judging me for having a criminal background. How pathetic are you? Again... like I said... intersectionality at its finest. But I'm betting most of you don't even know what that is.

Oh and for the person who said that her and I should give full custody of our children to the other parent? Keep dreaming. That'll never happen. Perhaps my story hit too close to home with you? Brought back memories of your old girlfriend cheating on you? I'm sorry, that was not the intention of this post.

You know, in some places you have to be separated longer than that to get a finalized divorce.

You are not a good person.

If you were a good person, you would not be involved with a married woman, even if she is no longer in love with her husband.

If you were a good person, you would put the children's needs first. The children don't give a flip your amazing love life; they'd rather think they were all the products of immaculate conceptions.