Going for full Custody

[LdiJ]

I agree that he needs to be talking with his attorney.

However, he has a lot of things in his favor if he doesn't do something stupid:
- Temporary custody. Temporary custody usually gives that parent an edge when it comes to a permanent custody decision
- Wife is moving 70 miles away. Courts prefer not to disrupt kids' lives by making them move
- Before the divorce, they were roughly equal caretakers. If anything, he was primary since he had the kid during the day and wife had the child's sleeping time

Whether the restraining order was justified or not isn't really relevant. The judge ordered one and temporary custody.

Now, OP needs a wakeup call as well. He's not going to get sole custody. They are almost certainly going to get joint legal. And Mom will have a significant time share of whatever physical custody is awarded. If OP goes in demanding full custody and alleging that Mom is a terrible Mom for kissing her boss, it will only weaken his case rather than strengthen it.

I could see a possible problem for him if he still works evenings...

 

[gam]

I could see a possible problem for him if he still works evenings...

Why? Wife lost her job, but she was working days, what is the difference between working days and nights? One needs care for the child either way. If you work nights and when the child starts school, you then are with that child before and after school, which often is not the case for day workers. Not many day workers hours run the same as school hours.

If presented to the court correctly this is not a downfall for dad.

 

[LdiJ]

Why? Wife lost her job, but she was working days, what is the difference between working days and nights? One needs care for the child either way. If you work nights and when the child starts school, you then are with that child before and after school, which often is not the case for day workers. Not many day workers hours run the same as school hours.

If presented to the court correctly this is not a downfall for dad.

Well, by evenings I was assuming second shift rather than third shift. Perhaps what we really need to know is his exact work schedule. I did use the word "possible".

 

[gam]

Well, by evenings I was assuming second shift rather than third shift. Perhaps what we really need to know is his exact work schedule. I did use the word "possible".

You could be correct on the evenings, I assumed 3rd and I swear it said nights. Need my glasses checked, lol. But by the word evenings, your assumption is probably correct.

I did note your use of "possible", just missed the word evenings, sorry about my miss.

I think your right it would be best for him to post his schedule. As evenings could be a possible problem, the other side most likely will bring that up.

 

[mistoffolees]

I could see a possible problem for him if he still works evenings...

It could be more difficult, but lots of parents work nights and evenings and have custody. If he has child care available, it's a non-issue. Or, for all we know, he may have the ability to switch to day shift and only chose to work evenings because it meant that he and ex didn't need to pay for child care. Switching back to days and hiring day care would solve any problem.

So he needs to think about child care, but other than that, it shouldn't be a big deal.

 

[LdiJ]

It could be more difficult, but lots of parents work nights and evenings and have custody. If he has child care available, it's a non-issue. Or, for all we know, he may have the ability to switch to day shift and only chose to work evenings because it meant that he and ex didn't need to pay for child care. Switching back to days and hiring day care would solve any problem.

So he needs to think about child care, but other than that, it shouldn't be a big deal.

Its not just about child care.

When you have two fit parents, its about what is best for the child(ren).

So, for an example...

Child is in school
Mom works days and is home with the children in the evenings. So, the children will be with a parent when they are not in school...both mornings and evenings.

Dad works 2nd shift and goes to work before the child gets out of school, or immediately after and is not home until after the child is in bed. That means that on dad's days the only time the child sees a parent is in the mornings before school. It is not in the best interests of the children for them to be with a daycare provider when mom would be with them.

Change it up....Dad still doesn't work day shift, but works third shift...In that instance dad can still be with the children during their non-school awake time, they just need an overnight sitting while they are sleeping...that is not nearly as bad.

So really, its all about what is best for the children, not whether or not the parent has adequate access to child care.

 

[paul-6749]

thank you all for your info. I work from 2pm to 10pm. I have child care in place now and for the for years to come. Im wondering if the judge is going to need a reason to transfer custody from me to my wife at our next date or if everything is working to just leave me with custody and keep her with weekends? The child is not in school yet.

 

[stealth2]

thank you all for your info. I work from 2pm to 10pm. I have child care in place now and for the for years to come. Im wondering if the judge is going to need a reason to transfer custody from me to my wife at our next date or if everything is working to just leave me with custody and keep her with weekends? The child is not in school yet.

I may have missed it - how old IS the child?

 

[paul-6749]

The child is 3 he will not go to school for 2 more years.

 

[LdiJ]

thank you all for your info. I work from 2pm to 10pm. I have child care in place now and for the for years to come. Im wondering if the judge is going to need a reason to transfer custody from me to my wife at our next date or if everything is working to just leave me with custody and keep her with weekends? The child is not in school yet.

See dad...this is what worries me for you. Its not so big of a deal for the next couple of years, but its not going to be too long before your child is in school. If you are still on that shift when your child is in school then the only time that your child will see you on working days is in the morning, whereas mom may be available for the child after school or in the evenings as well. That is definitely problematic. If the judge thinks ahead at all, or if mom's attorney is persuasive, that could even be a problem now.

Is there any way that you could change your shift? You are honestly on the worst shift for having primary custody of a child.

 

[gam]

Common for the other side to start about 2nd shift and 3rd shift, you just got to prepare prior to going in there. Another possibility is 50/50, since you both could be considered primary, with the way your work schedules and time with the child worked out while together. So you need to prepare on this to.

Is your 2nd shift all weeknights or do you rotate weekends in there?

 

[Proserpina]

Given how OP actually got temp custody, I still think OP has major issues here.

He certainly doesn't have a slam-dunk case here.