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Grandmother has custody and now I don't like it..

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Pinkie39

Member
What kind of idiot parent allows their very young teenaged child to marry under ANY circumstance?
My husband's parents' married when they were 15 and 17, and had 16 kids. Although that was in the early 1950s, in Tennessee. It probably wasn't unusual in that era and place.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Lol, maybe so! I have 5 siblings, and he's the first person I met with more than me. There would actually have been 17 kids in his family, but one was stillborn.
I have six siblings as well. I met one other family while I was growing up that was larger...they had 10 kids. All of the children were named Mary. Even the boys. I kid you not.
 

Maymee

Junior Member
What kind of idiot parent allows their very young teenaged child to marry under ANY circumstance?
It used to be a common thing around these parts. Fortunately, someone with good sense finally created a bill (which passed) that, at least in Tennessee, anyone under the age of 18 cannot get married without a judge's approval; a parent's signature is no longer acceptable.

And while some county judges will still permit it for some scenarios (such as pregnancy, etc) the judges around me won't grant it for any reason whatsoever. There was even one couple, both 16, who filed a petition to get married because the potential groom was terminally ill and wanted to wed before his death. The judge said even that was not good enough cause to grant permission.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
It used to be a common thing around these parts. Fortunately, someone with good sense finally created a bill (which passed) that, at least in Tennessee, anyone under the age of 18 cannot get married without a judge's approval; a parent's signature is no longer acceptable.

And while some county judges will still permit it for some scenarios (such as pregnancy, etc) the judges around me won't grant it for any reason whatsoever. There was even one couple, both 16, who filed a petition to get married because the potential groom was terminally ill and wanted to wed before his death. The judge said even that was not good enough cause to grant permission.
Ohhh...I think that Judge took a good thing too far. Poor boy.... :(
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Both children would be covered under their parents insurance. No need to marry...BUT even IF the girl-child wasn't insured boy-childs parents wouldn't be able to put their DIL on their policy.
One of my childhood friends got married as a young teen (1980s, Massachusetts) for the purpose of getting health insurance coverage for her and her child from the father's (employment based) health insurance.

She was a ward of the state prior to that. (The parents had given up.)
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
One of my childhood friends got married as a young teen (1980s, Massachusetts) for the purpose of getting health insurance coverage for her and her child from the father's (employment based) health insurance.

She was a ward of the state prior to that. (The parents had given up.)
That's a legitimate reason...But doesn't apply to OP.
 

Pinkie39

Member
I have six siblings as well. I met one other family while I was growing up that was larger...they had 10 kids. All of the children were named Mary. Even the boys. I kid you not.
Omg, that is TOO bizarre!! I wonder if any of the kids changed their names as adults?? Lol!
 

commentator

Senior Member
Didn't George Foreman name all his children George? Not too uncommon. I grew up with a family that had 21, all same mom and dad. I knew the youngest, who said he had never actually met all his brothers and sisters, many of whom had left home years before he was born. But meantime, this couple began at 14 and don't seem terribly well prepared at 30.
 
Damn for real? I even used Grammarly?. I wrote it down as I would have said it in person. I have never got them responses before. My bad. Let me try this again when I'm not upset like I was last night.

I'm from Kentucky and I'm 30 years old... I have 3 kids. Their ages are 14,7 and 1. The cabinet had temporary guardianship. They were living with us but only because we moved in with my brother. Since we did not complete the plan but was in the midst of it but not as fast as they wanted. I and my wife would fail for drugs at the end we had like 3 in a row clean. Anyways we were still afraid and had no bad thought that he grandma would say no to anything about the kids and it was agreed to give custody out of our own accord and decided once we did the plan we would go back to court and get custody cause that's we lacked for the cabinet to be happy..the cabinet when in court did not have any beef with that but they didn't want us to live we the grandma but on that they didn't get what they wanted..so the case was done and stricken not sure what that meant. Couple months later court is done..dbcs is done... an incident occurs. I would like to keep.that personal. but I can tell u my wife and grandma got questioned by social worker and was told saying that the social worker has to do an investigation at my mom and dads house where it occurred....no social worker has been down to talk to none of us.the kids are at the grandma who has custody she won't let us take them cause she said the social worker said the kids can't come here.. She called today saying the reason why is the social worker took off from work. So what does that mean if grandma is telling truth? It must not be that bad right. i don't understand..
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
Damn for real? I even used Grammarly?. I wrote it down as I would have said it in person. I have never got them responses before. My bad. Let me try this again when I'm not upset like I was last night.

I'm from Kentucky and I'm 30 years old... I have 3 kids. Their ages are 14,7 and 1. The cabinet had temporary guardianship. They were living with us but only because we moved in with my brother. Since we did not complete the plan but was in the midst of it but not as fast as they wanted. I and my wife would fail for drugs at the end we had like 3 in a row clean. Anyways we were still afraid and had no bad thought that he grandma would say no to anything about the kids and it was agreed to give custody out of our own accord and decided once we did the plan we would go back to court and get custody cause that's we lacked for the cabinet to be happy..the cabinet when in court did not have any beef with that but they didn't want us to live we the grandma but on that they didn't get what they wanted..so the case was done and stricken not sure what that meant. Couple months later court is done..dbcs is done... an incident occurs. I would like to keep.that personal. but I can tell u my wife and grandma got questioned by social worker and was told saying that the social worker has to do an investigation at my mom and dads house where it occurred....no social worker has been down to talk to none of us.the kids are at the grandma who has custody she won't let us take them cause she said the social worker said the kids can't come here.. She called today saying the reason why is the social worker took off from work. So what does that mean if grandma is telling truth? It must not be that bad right. i don't understand..
Doesn't sound like you and your wife want custody if completing the plan was just too much for either of you. Drugs seem to be more important. If grandma is told you and your wife can't take the children, then you know it's because the social worker is back in your kids lives because of something you guys did. Don't get pissy with grandma because she's doing what she has to to ensure her grandchildren don't wind up in foster care. You should be grateful there's a family member who was there for when you stopped making your children your top priority. And whatever happened obviously was pretty bad if you won't even specify what it was that you did this time to screw up.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
once we did the plan we would go back to court and get custody
So..... did you do the plan?

Sounds as though whatever "personal" thing happened at your parents' was serious enough to have the authorities called, who seemed to find your children were placed at risk. At this point, were I in your shoes, I would (a) be speaking with a lawyer and (b) thanking whoever you pray to for sending your children an adult who cares enough to keep them safe. Not necessarily in that order.
 
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