Grandparents vs Cousins

[joetexas]

What is the name of your state?
Washington

Short version:
My cousin was just killed by her boyfriend and has 3 kids (15,4,1). Their grandpa will probably want to fight for them. He is a drug user (although gainfully employed) and an all around bad person (verbally abusive, etc). So I would be the children's uncle although, honestly, I've had minimal contact with them as we live across the country from each other (I live in Texas). I'm pretty confident the mother did not have a will or anything which indicated what her wishes were at death (she was 35).

Here's the question, if the grandpa wants to fight for his grandkids (most likely to get whatever money the Mom had, which we'd gladly forfeit for the kids) does he get special consideration over their uncle (me)? If it matters I've been married for 14 years and have a great job with 4 kids of my own. He's had atleast 3 children out of wedlock and tends to date/separate from women that are younger than his daughter was. Not trying a character attack here but trying to give a little bit of difference as to the character differences between him and me.

Also, what would a lawyer usually charge for this type of service (per hour??/retainer??) and would he need to cover TX and WA or since she lived in WA would it deal only with that state. Honestly, what are the chances of this thing going our way...1%, 20%???

Since I've never had to retain a lawyer not sure if my approach is even correct here, thanks.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state?
Washington

Short version:
My cousin was just killed by her boyfriend and has 3 kids (15,4,1). Their grandpa will probably want to fight for them. He is a drug user (although gainfully employed) and an all around bad person (verbally abusive, etc). So I would be the children's uncle although, honestly, I've had minimal contact with them as we live across the country from each other (I live in Texas). I'm pretty confident the mother did not have a will or anything which indicated what her wishes were at death (she was 35).

Here's the question, if the grandpa wants to fight for his grandkids (most likely to get whatever money the Mom had, which we'd gladly forfeit for the kids) does he get special consideration over their uncle (me)? If it matters I've been married for 14 years and have a great job with 4 kids of my own. He's had atleast 3 children out of wedlock and tends to date/separate from women that are younger than his daughter was. Not trying a character attack here but trying to give a little bit of difference as to the character differences between him and me.

Also, what would a lawyer usually charge for this type of service (per hour??/retainer??) and would he need to cover TX and WA or since she lived in WA would it deal only with that state. Honestly, what are the chances of this thing going our way...1%, 20%???

Since I've never had to retain a lawyer not sure if my approach is even correct here, thanks.

If the children are the main concern, what does it matter the cost?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?
Washington

Short version:
My cousin was just killed by her boyfriend and has 3 kids (15,4,1). Their grandpa will probably want to fight for them. He is a drug user (although gainfully employed) and an all around bad person (verbally abusive, etc). So I would be the children's uncle although, honestly, I've had minimal contact with them as we live across the country from each other (I live in Texas). I'm pretty confident the mother did not have a will or anything which indicated what her wishes were at death (she was 35).

Here's the question, if the grandpa wants to fight for his grandkids (most likely to get whatever money the Mom had, which we'd gladly forfeit for the kids) does he get special consideration over their uncle (me)? If it matters I've been married for 14 years and have a great job with 4 kids of my own. He's had atleast 3 children out of wedlock and tends to date/separate from women that are younger than his daughter was. Not trying a character attack here but trying to give a little bit of difference as to the character differences between him and me.

Also, what would a lawyer usually charge for this type of service (per hour??/retainer??) and would he need to cover TX and WA or since she lived in WA would it deal only with that state. Honestly, what are the chances of this thing going our way...1%, 20%???

Since I've never had to retain a lawyer not sure if my approach is even correct here, thanks.

I am a little confused. Your heading said grandparent vs cousins, but you are now stating that you are the Uncle.

An uncle vs a grandparent would be relatively equal in standing. A cousin vs a grandparent would not.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Contact the Courts for the county in which the children resided with their mother, inquire to see if the court has appointed a Guardian ad Litem for the children already, if there is, contact the GAL if not, make motion to for the court to appoint a GAL. While it is possible that GF may have been given temp custody of the children, most likely they are wards of the court already. After you know the status, then you will know whether or not you need to retian an attorney. You should be prepared to travel to WA at some point if there is a serious chance of obtaining custody.

 

[TLWE]

Because of the wide age difference in the kids...

I am curious as to whether or not the boyfriend who killed OP's cousin is the bio dad of all the children? This will make a difference on who gets custody of all the kids.

 

[stealth2]

Good point, TLWE. I'd hazard a guess (just due to the age differences) that there may be at least one other father around. In which case, he/they would be the first choice for placement of the relevant child(ren).

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Good point, TLWE. I'd hazard a guess (just due to the age differences) that there may be at least one other father around. In which case, he/they would be the first choice for placement of the relevant child(ren).

Even so, due to the tragic and untimely death of the mother and the associated legal/probate mess, most likely a GAL is or will be appointed to represent the best interest of the children, until the court can make further orders.

 

[stealth2]

Oh, absolutely.

 

[nextwife]

And it's entirely possible the boyfriend is not father of any of them.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Anyone want to be the GAL on this one? Potentially 3 different fathers, known or unknown, un fit or abusive GF with history of relationships with younger women, and mother murdered by BF, most likely children victims of some sort of abuse and/or neglect and exposure to DV? Counseling? Keep the children together? With whom? Medical insurance? Their social and emotional needs? Sorting out probate issues and rep payee for SSA and any insurance?

 

[joetexas]

Here are responses to everyone's input, thanks for your time and excuse me if I don't articulate myself correctly or appear a little rough around the edges.

If the children are the main concern, what does it matter the cost?

Just trying to get an idea of what range I'm looking at....isn't that prudent before seeking counsel? If a lawyer says it will be $50,000 (or 500 hrs) to assist and I liquidate everything I have for the children and find out later that I can do it for $5,000 (or 50 hrs) would it be me or the lawyer who was stupid? I've paid enough stupid tax in my life Excuse my response but I did take some offense to your statement, if you want a safe car for your family would you ask the cost or just buy it (who cares if it is $1K month or $60K total right?)

I am a little confused. Your heading said grandparent vs cousins, but you are now stating that you are the Uncle.

An uncle vs a grandparent would be relatively equal in standing. A cousin vs a grandparent would not.

Sorry about that, between taking family in from Katrina and this I'm a little off. I was the cousin of the woman that was killed so I guess I'd be their 2nd cousin?

Contact the Courts for the county in which the children resided with their mother, inquire to see if the court has appointed a Guardian ad Litem for the children already, if there is, contact the GAL if not, make motion to for the court to appoint a GAL. While it is possible that GF may have been given temp custody of the children, most likely they are wards of the court already. After you know the status, then you will know whether or not you need to retian an attorney. You should be prepared to travel to WA at some point if there is a serious chance of obtaining custody.

Thanks, pardon my ignorance here but what is GAL, and GF?

I am curious as to whether or not the boyfriend who killed OP's cousin is the bio dad of all the children? This will make a difference on who gets custody of all the kids.

Not all, just the 1 year old. His family, who has never met any of the children just showed up today and I'm getting feedback from someone up in WA as to what their reaction is and how they want to proceed. Unfortunately my cousin slept around so each child is from a different father.

Even so, due to the tragic and untimely death of the mother and the associated legal/probate mess, most likely a GAL is or will be appointed to represent the best interest of the children, until the court can make further orders.

If you didn't respond above please help me understand what the GAL is right?

Anyone want to be the GAL on this one? Potentially 3 different fathers, known or unknown, un fit or abusive GF with history of relationships with younger women, and mother murdered by BF, most likely children victims of some sort of abuse and/or neglect and exposure to DV? Counseling? Keep the children together? With whom? Medical insurance? Their social and emotional needs? Sorting out probate issues and rep payee for SSA and any insurance?

Thanks for your persistence and we understand there will be many issues but every child deserves a chance, right?

 

[stealth2]

GAL = Guardian Ad Litem. Basically, someone who is assigned to look out for the children's best interests.

The fathers of the two older children would be the obvious first choice of guardians for those kids.

 

[joetexas]

GAL = Guardian Ad Litem. Basically, someone who is assigned to look out for the children's best interests.

The fathers of the two older children would be the obvious first choice of guardians for those kids.

Actually neither father of the two older children has been in the picture since they were born so I'd be really surprised if they showed up. Is there a timeframe that the courts will wait to hear from the fathers or would it be my responsibility to track them down and show that they weren't interested in being part of the children's lives?

Thanks for taking the time to respond and teach.