disgustedbydeception
New member
NC
Long but trying to get important details. So as these stories tend to start, I met a guy. On a dating app. First I should mention, I lost my husband to an impaired driver in December of 2018. Probably I wasn’t really ready to date. This is somewhat important later. So met the guy in July. Talked on the phone and texted some, met in person. We seemed to get along well.
We were seeing each other up until mid December. Now, the husband part comes in because I received funds from life insurance and a settlement. This guy figured out that I had some money because I took two months off from working, July and August. Just needed the mental break as I didn’t take enough time off after he died. So predictably he starts asking to borrow money. Me being me, loaned him money on several occasions for things like car repairs, a down payment on a car, and what he told me was attorney fees for custody issues with his ex. Somewhere around $5000. Always he said he was going to pay back.
I actually attempted to end the relationship on a few occasions because I felt like something was off. Blocked his phone number, ignored calls he’d keep sending messages and texts begging me to be patient with him.He talked about issues he’d had in the past with women cheating and told me he was just nervous. Finally we reached sort of a point in December where we argued and agreed to be just friends.We planned to meet and talk about things on a specific day. On the day in question I sent him a message letting him know I was on my way there. No reply but wasn’t unusual due to his odd work schedule and sleep.
Well I got to his house, he is there and also when pulling into the driveway I can see a woman in the house. I’d been to his house just maybe a week or two before. Put the car in reverse because I had a feeling I’d figured out the issue. Before I could leave he’s in the driveway by my car yelling at me. Then the woman comes out and decides she wants to speak to me and gets in my car. We went to a restaurant. This woman had probably 8 drinks and we talked. Turns out he had been seeing me behind her back the entire time. He lied about what he was borrowing money for. This woman got very emotional and began talking about burning his house down and things like that. She said repeatedly that she was going to jail that night.
I was pretty concerned at this point. Convinced her it would be better to go to a friends. Took her back to his house, she is screaming, it comes out that she had stolen his sons adhd meds, just lots of chaos. I’ve told her I will give her a ride. I just didn’t want anyone in trouble. Get her things get her dropped off. By then he’s calling me. Telling me she’s a horrible monster and that he’s glad she is gone etc. I tell him I understand it’s a difficult situation. We had a long conversation, he apologized for the deception talked about repaying me.We talked back and forth a bit for a day or two and he’s swearing he’s done with her. Then she texts me. Wants to make sure he isn’t talking to me. Told her the truth. So he blows up at me. Ended up blocking my number. I sent a few emails (asking about property that belonged to me at his house, asking about the money and when he plans to repay, and about changing the name on a cruise that he was supposed togo on so I could bring someone else) at no point did he ask me to stop. He did ignore. Was not sure if he was getting the messages so I sent his mother a text asking her to please have him contact me about a specific item that he had in his possession that was very important to me. He does text me back then. We had a phone conversation. Several conversations back and forth after that about repayment.
Next thing I know the sherif is at my door. He’s made a complaint for harassment. This occurred the day the girlfriend texted me (the complaint) but it was two weeks later that they came to my home. Now obviously I don’t feel like anything I did was harassing in nature. I honestly feel like this person purposely led me on for the purpose of obtaining money from me.
Im concerned about what could happen in court. Does the fact that he continued to have conversation with me after he filed these charges have any bearing on the outcome?
Long but trying to get important details. So as these stories tend to start, I met a guy. On a dating app. First I should mention, I lost my husband to an impaired driver in December of 2018. Probably I wasn’t really ready to date. This is somewhat important later. So met the guy in July. Talked on the phone and texted some, met in person. We seemed to get along well.
We were seeing each other up until mid December. Now, the husband part comes in because I received funds from life insurance and a settlement. This guy figured out that I had some money because I took two months off from working, July and August. Just needed the mental break as I didn’t take enough time off after he died. So predictably he starts asking to borrow money. Me being me, loaned him money on several occasions for things like car repairs, a down payment on a car, and what he told me was attorney fees for custody issues with his ex. Somewhere around $5000. Always he said he was going to pay back.
I actually attempted to end the relationship on a few occasions because I felt like something was off. Blocked his phone number, ignored calls he’d keep sending messages and texts begging me to be patient with him.He talked about issues he’d had in the past with women cheating and told me he was just nervous. Finally we reached sort of a point in December where we argued and agreed to be just friends.We planned to meet and talk about things on a specific day. On the day in question I sent him a message letting him know I was on my way there. No reply but wasn’t unusual due to his odd work schedule and sleep.
Well I got to his house, he is there and also when pulling into the driveway I can see a woman in the house. I’d been to his house just maybe a week or two before. Put the car in reverse because I had a feeling I’d figured out the issue. Before I could leave he’s in the driveway by my car yelling at me. Then the woman comes out and decides she wants to speak to me and gets in my car. We went to a restaurant. This woman had probably 8 drinks and we talked. Turns out he had been seeing me behind her back the entire time. He lied about what he was borrowing money for. This woman got very emotional and began talking about burning his house down and things like that. She said repeatedly that she was going to jail that night.
I was pretty concerned at this point. Convinced her it would be better to go to a friends. Took her back to his house, she is screaming, it comes out that she had stolen his sons adhd meds, just lots of chaos. I’ve told her I will give her a ride. I just didn’t want anyone in trouble. Get her things get her dropped off. By then he’s calling me. Telling me she’s a horrible monster and that he’s glad she is gone etc. I tell him I understand it’s a difficult situation. We had a long conversation, he apologized for the deception talked about repaying me.We talked back and forth a bit for a day or two and he’s swearing he’s done with her. Then she texts me. Wants to make sure he isn’t talking to me. Told her the truth. So he blows up at me. Ended up blocking my number. I sent a few emails (asking about property that belonged to me at his house, asking about the money and when he plans to repay, and about changing the name on a cruise that he was supposed togo on so I could bring someone else) at no point did he ask me to stop. He did ignore. Was not sure if he was getting the messages so I sent his mother a text asking her to please have him contact me about a specific item that he had in his possession that was very important to me. He does text me back then. We had a phone conversation. Several conversations back and forth after that about repayment.
Next thing I know the sherif is at my door. He’s made a complaint for harassment. This occurred the day the girlfriend texted me (the complaint) but it was two weeks later that they came to my home. Now obviously I don’t feel like anything I did was harassing in nature. I honestly feel like this person purposely led me on for the purpose of obtaining money from me.
Im concerned about what could happen in court. Does the fact that he continued to have conversation with me after he filed these charges have any bearing on the outcome?