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He kicked me out, took my vehicle and denies me access to my kids and my belongings!

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brookec

Junior Member
#1
Paris Tennessee

My On again off again partner in a 10+yr relationship and I have 3 kids together. On April 9th 2018, he kicked me out of our shared home and continues to deny me access to our children, my vehicle and most of my belongings. He took all of my resources! In my opinion, in the attempt to gain the upper-hand! Let me start by saying that I have not done anything to cause this to happen. I've never cheated or lied or stolen or ANYthing of that sort. He is a narcissistic and a major control freak. I was unaware until we already had children. Now he just uses them as leverage! I believe this is because I just started working again since 2009. He use to complain how I never contributed but now that I have a job, its that Im never there and he has to now work 2 jobs. I think hes trying to "show me" how much he does for me....and how much he can take away!!

He has moved a lot of my personal belongings (clothes, toiletries etc.) to a storage facility which is already full of stuff belonging to my kids and myself. But, the storage unit is in his name. He has offered to bring the storage balance current, put it in my name and pack and move the rest of my things there, himself. In exchange.....he keeps any household items, furniture etc. that he wants! He would also be willing to store the furniture that's sentimental to me in his house until i get "situated"! 80% of everything there is mine already and the rest we acquired together! We moved into that place together in 2014. I believe we HAD a lease but we are currently just on month to month.

The truck (that he is keeping from me) was purchased specifically for me. I have always been the primary driver. But, it's titled in both of our names. He owns another truck that has been his daily driver!

He has a daughter(17)from a previous relationship which ended with him spending 4 years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon(i believe). He reentered her life when she was approx 6. Together we have a son (9) that we have joint custody of, and a set of boy/girl twins (5) that I have sole custody. They have all lived with us... full time.

He has put me in such a position by taking all my resources that IF i were to get someone to drive me to pick the kids up, i would have no place to take them that we could stay and I feel comfortable with it! I have had very minimum contact with our kids since April 9th. A couple phone calls and text messages. I did attend a school event called "muffins with mom". Supposedly they missed the bus and he carried them late, causing our already short 30 minute breakfast to an even shorter 10 minutes. My kids were very upset when I had to go. Especially my 9 year old. This is obviously not what is in their best interest!. I have sent several messages to his phone. I talked to him this morning (April 21) on the phone and he said no, i could not see them. They were busy. I could see them in a couple of weeks when he's had time to get a few things in order!

I have never had to be apart from my children and see no reason i should have to be now! At this point I have NO clue what to do. I have VERY limited resources. It seems he's holding all the cards**************.Meanwhile, I was unaware we were even playing a game! :(

I started working again since 2009. I believe that to be the cause of him kicking me out. He's afraid of me being financially stable! He wanted the upper-hand. It's disgusting!!! I have no clue what to do! Help??
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
#2
Paris Tennessee

My On again off again partner in a 10+yr relationship and I have 3 kids together. On April 9th 2018, he kicked me out of our shared home and continues to deny me access to our children, my vehicle and most of my belongings. He took all of my resources! In my opinion, in the attempt to gain the upper-hand! Let me start by saying that I have not done anything to cause this to happen. I've never cheated or lied or stolen or ANYthing of that sort. He is a narcissistic and a major control freak. I was unaware until we already had children. Now he just uses them as leverage! I believe this is because I just started working again since 2009. He use to complain how I never contributed but now that I have a job, its that Im never there and he has to now work 2 jobs. I think hes trying to "show me" how much he does for me....and how much he can take away!!

He has moved a lot of my personal belongings (clothes, toiletries etc.) to a storage facility which is already full of stuff belonging to my kids and myself. But, the storage unit is in his name. He has offered to bring the storage balance current, put it in my name and pack and move the rest of my things there, himself. In exchange.....he keeps any household items, furniture etc. that he wants! He would also be willing to store the furniture that's sentimental to me in his house until i get "situated"! 80% of everything there is mine already and the rest we acquired together! We moved into that place together in 2014. I believe we HAD a lease but we are currently just on month to month.

The truck (that he is keeping from me) was purchased specifically for me. I have always been the primary driver. But, it's titled in both of our names. He owns another truck that has been his daily driver!

He has a daughter(17)from a previous relationship which ended with him spending 4 years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon(i believe). He reentered her life when she was approx 6. Together we have a son (9) that we have joint custody of, and a set of boy/girl twins (5) that I have sole custody. They have all lived with us... full time.

He has put me in such a position by taking all my resources that IF i were to get someone to drive me to pick the kids up, i would have no place to take them that we could stay and I feel comfortable with it! I have had very minimum contact with our kids since April 9th. A couple phone calls and text messages. I did attend a school event called "muffins with mom". Supposedly they missed the bus and he carried them late, causing our already short 30 minute breakfast to an even shorter 10 minutes. My kids were very upset when I had to go. Especially my 9 year old. This is obviously not what is in their best interest!. I have sent several messages to his phone. I talked to him this morning (April 21) on the phone and he said no, i could not see them. They were busy. I could see them in a couple of weeks when he's had time to get a few things in order!

I have never had to be apart from my children and see no reason i should have to be now! At this point I have NO clue what to do. I have VERY limited resources. It seems he's holding all the cards**************.Meanwhile, I was unaware we were even playing a game! :(

I started working again since 2009. I believe that to be the cause of him kicking me out. He's afraid of me being financially stable! He wanted the upper-hand. It's disgusting!!! I have no clue what to do! Help??
Go home. Just go home. He can not just "kick you out". The only "power" he has is that which you gift to him.
 

brookec

Junior Member
#5
He would make it unbearable for me, which would not be good for the kids. I don't want them to have to deal with any more drama ** than they already have! And I don't know how much more I can take!!


Go home. Just go home. He can not just "kick you out". The only "power" he has is that which you gift to him.
 
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brookec

Junior Member
#7
Before we had the twins I left him at one point,
of course with my child. He took me to court and the court granted joint custody. Then we ended up back together because of course he was very sorry and it would never happen again. It's the best thing for our kid.
I will admit any fault I have in the situation.
It takes 2. And God knows I've made mistakes.
But, NOthing to call for this!!




Yes, legally the explanation matters. How did you end up with this arrangement? Please don't be coy with your answers, because they DO matter.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
#8
He would make it unbearable for me, which would not be good for the kids. I don't want them to have to deal with any more drama *** than they already have! And I don't know how much more I can take!!
Define "unbearable". What do you mean by that. Give an example.

And please don't use foul language. It violates the TOS .
 
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brookec

Junior Member
#9
He calls me names. Tells me I'm a terrible mother in front of my kids. I don't have a very big support system so he says nobody else cares about me nobody wants ne, not even my mother. He called me the big "C" word 2 times the week before I finally left before 6 am!!
I can sit and keep my mouth shut and that's what I've done, to keep from escalating the situation!
NOT for my sake, but the sake of our kids!
He put me out after 10 years of me trying to do right by him, try to please him.... Put me out with nothing, like nothing! And tell me my kids have never been better!!
Mentally, I'm done! I can't anymore!!
I'm exhausted! I have hours of voice recording of him SCREAMING at me for hours. Relentlessly!
Then make me believe he couldn't help it when he acted like that! I even kinda felt sorry for him!
I know.... Twisted!


Define "unbearable". What do you mean by that. Give an example.

And please don't use foul language. It violates the TOS .
 

quincy

Senior Member
#10
He calls me names. Tells me I'm a terrible mother in front of my kids. I don't have a very big support system so he says nobody else cares about me nobody wants ne, not even my mother. He called me the big "C" word 2 times the week before I finally left before 6 am!!
I can sit and keep my mouth shut and that's what I've done, to keep from escalating the situation!
NOT for my sake, but the sake of our kids!
He put me out after 10 years of me trying to do right by him, try to please him.... Put me out with nothing, like nothing! And tell me my kids have never been better!!
Mentally, I'm done! I can't anymore!!
I'm exhausted! I have hours of voice recording of him SCREAMING at me for hours. Relentlessly!
Then make me believe he couldn't help it when he acted like that! I even kinda felt sorry for him!
I know.... Twisted!
Where are you currently staying?

Have you contacted a domestic violence organization/shelter?

Have you spoken to a lawyer about a divorce?
 
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brookec

Junior Member
#11
I am currently just staying wherever I can.
Friends couches motels. I'm trying to get an attorney but currently super low on funds!
It costs a lot to be homeless... Ironically
We are not married... Just been together a long time!!

Where are you currently staying?

Have you contacted a domestic violence organization/shelter?

Have you spoken to a lawyer about a divorce?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Just Blue

Senior Member
#14
He calls me names. Tells me I'm a terrible mother in front of my kids. I don't have a very big support system so he says nobody else cares about me nobody wants ne, not even my mother. He called me the big "C" word 2 times the week before I finally left before 6 am!!
I can sit and keep my mouth shut and that's what I've done, to keep from escalating the situation!
NOT for my sake, but the sake of our kids!
He put me out after 10 years of me trying to do right by him, try to please him.... Put me out with nothing, like nothing! And tell me my kids have never been better!!
Mentally, I'm done! I can't anymore!!
I'm exhausted! I have hours of voice recording of him SCREAMING at me for hours. Relentlessly!
Then make me believe he couldn't help it when he acted like that! I even kinda felt sorry for him!
I know.... Twisted!
I'm confused. In the ^ post you said you left before 6...and then say he put you out. Which is it?
 

brookec

Junior Member
#15
He told me to leave. Which isn't the first time. I stayed for a few days because I thought it would blow over. After a period of time of him verbally telling me over and over that I'm not welcome, bringing dinner home for everybody but me. Making arrangements for somebody to be at the house for our kids when they got off the bus, even though I was still there. I asked him why, he says because he's hoping every-day when he leaves for work that I wouldn't be there when he got back. THEN I left. Like I said, only so much a person can take! So, yes he kicked me out (not by force) but I eventually made the decision to leave. So, however you want to look at it.


I'm confused. In the ^ post you said you left before 6...and then say he put you out. Which is it?
 
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