kat1963
One aspect to keep in mind is the year of Robbie's birth, which is about 1955. This nation was financially booming and baby booming during the first decade after World War II. One of the more inhumane aspects of this time period was the pediatric communities outlook on babies--put them on formula (it was better for the babies. ha! it was better for industry); put deformed, 'retarded', or otherwise socially unacceptable babies and children, into homes and throw away the key--never look back; parents were encouraged to not even look at their affected newborns, but to simply put them in an institution and go on about having a good life.
Some parents did just that; it was good for State hospitals' business, and it was 'good' for the family's social standing and reputation. Some parents kept their children, as did my aunt and uncle, and provided for them the most normal life possible. Some parents kept their children and kept the family's shameful secret, the child, from ever being allowed into society.
During this time, and even now to a lesser degree, having a malformed child, or a 'retarded' child, was considered an act of vengence by God--the parents must have done something horrible for God to have sent them such a burden to bear.
Somewhere in the middle of the concepts that I have briefly described is the birth of Robbie--born at a time when it was socially unacceptable to have such a child; a time when there were no facilities as developed in the 60's and the 70's, such as assisted living facilities and schools specifically for handicapped persons. When Robbie was born, his parents could only foresee a future of burdening care, no employment opportunities, and no independent living for Robbie, and a life of burdening shame for Robbie and for them.
To add insult to injury, the mother died, leaving the widowed father with this burden to carry and the guilt of having to carry a burden he did not want, and the anger over his wife's leaving him the burden to carry alone. I sense a lot of unresolved grief in Robbie's father--that too, is from the 1950's way of thinking, ie grown men don't cry, grown men don't show affection and concern, grown men are heros, soldiers, leaders, achievers, not failures with afflicted children.
Unfortunately for the whole family, Robbie's Dad has maintained the role of absolute caretaker of Robbie and has lost sight of Robbie as anything but a troublesome burden with a red sign on his forehead that says 'you can't possibly love me; all you want is my money; and control of me from my dad'.
Robbie probably can't manage a week's income, much less a month's or a year's income and has no resources for financial management but his father. His sister will take over dictating Robbie's future when Robbie's father is gone. Robbie will never have the opportunity to function as an indivdual person instead of an object. This is the advantage from group homes, or assisted living; the person is safely housed and supervised, provided with a source of financial management, provided with job and social opportunities, and allowed to reach their level of maximum independent living.
I can say this, Robbie did receive education, wasn't and isn't locked up in a place he can't leave, hungry, or neglected. That is more than many of the children born with handicaps in the 1950's.
It would be wonderful if Dad could see a way to insure that Robbie is able to live without him after Dad's death. It would be wonderful if Dad could allow Robbie to make decisions, whether he fails or succeeds; it would be wonderful if Dad left Robbie in the care of a wife of his own, who would love him and take care of him.
That's not my decision to make for this family, though. They are going to have to operate within boundaries that allow each of them to function to the best of their abilities. Each member of this family has been affected as much as Robbie has. Dad sounds like a totally miserable, angry, jealous, threatened individual, but he probably has lots of good qualities that we don't know about.