Help! :Emancipation:

[Ienay]

talking about marriage is way premature.

I agree with you in this case, yet if it is a way to get her out of that home any complications that could arise do to our hastened decision would be worth taking on knowing she’s away from them.

 

[Ienay]

Thanks again, you two helped me out and will have helped her in the long run. I will return but I'm feeling quite ill again.

 

[stealth2]

The thing you both need to understand is that, so far, there's not been anything that's been said that would lead to her removal/emancipation.

* If her cousnin's violated parole - he'll be taken away and that will be that problem solved.

* Grandma's smoking and religion - neither are illegal.

* Dad's not doing anything illegal either.

* People driving by the house and blasting their horns - not gonna rise to the level of removing her from the home.

What it really seems to come down to is that OP doesn't like living by her grandmother's rules. Well, that's kind of life as a teen. Most teens don't like their parents' rules. That doesn't rise to the level of abuse or neglect or warrant emancipation. Believe me - when you're older and have teens of your own - you'll gain a whole new appreciation for why your parents/guardians were such a$$holes.

Ienay - you've mentioned your parents adopting her. You realize that would then preclude your relationship, right? 'Cause you would then be her brother. You've also kind of slid by Carl's question about your age. How old ARE you? I suspect that's going to be an issue.

 

[CdwJava]

Stealth beat me to the dodged question about age.

And I'd like to point out that you wrote, " ... I’m sure your aware of this because if WE were to take these people to court with false claims ..."

You ARE aware that there is no "we" in this situation, right? You have NO legal standing in this affair at all. None. Zero. Zippo. And your attempting to interject yourself would only hurt her case because it would become clear to the court that this is about your relationship and not about her situation.

And to reiterate my query - and Stealth's - how old are you?

- Carl

 

[CagedHeart]

back

To clarify...

1) I do not have access to a computer everyday so I am not always able to be here to speek for myself.

2) I'm aware he can't help me in court. I don't even want to bring our relationship in court because I know full well the consequences. Although, its not a bad move to have help in gaining information along the way.

3) I'm not able live on my own because my grandmother will not let me go! The applications I have in are all good paying jobs, so I will be able to support myself, but... I won't be able to be living by my self because I need her OK on leaving her home... which she WILL NOT allow. I dont understand how to get through that step. I have to be living on my own when I apply, but, I am a minor and can't simply "get up and go" without her permission. If I am to be living on my own when I apply, which I need permission from her for, which I am trying to get past by applying for emancipation but cant apply without... what am I supposed to do?

4) The ages he answered. I am 15 (due to be 16 in April) and he is 16 (due to be 17 in May)

5) Marrage- We've spoken of this as an option (maybe), but I know its more complicated than emancipation alone. Its nice to think about but we know its too soon. Thank you for your concern about us as people and not just as posts.

6) I understand what being emancipated is and I've been searching around for options even before I met him, so to those who think thats the only reason why I want it, no. My whole life Ive been surrounded by people who care nothing for me and I came to know the world as, as I heard it "a cruel, uncarring place. Succeed or be stepped on." I thought thats just how it was. CPS had failed me and I had no hope of getting away, and I was on the verge of suicide.((Say what you wish about this...I care not.)) We met and were in contact no less than 2 months (durring which I was still sceptical) before I found there are genuinly good people out there, he being one of them. I abandon suicide and kept looking for ways out. One I found was to my grandfathers, which I and my mother were kicked out of due to his re-marrage. I was bounced to my grandmother here is San Diego. None of the places I've been are, in several other's oppinions, stable, or good for me to be in. I'm tired of haveing people, who claim to look out for me, have control over my life, than just screw me over again and again. On the night I asked my mother if I could take a trip to Missouri with my oldest cousin, which was a chance to gain life experience, get a job for a few months, learn to drive(not a big deal but something good none the less), and see something of the country...she was on her way to her friends house to get high. The people who have say in my life have no control over thier own! Is any of this typical?...like "I hate having to follow authority because I'm a whinny teenager and I just want to be left alone, eventhough later I'll realize I was ignorant and it was all for my good and they didnt do anything wrong raising me the way they did." Because stop me if it sounds as such.

7) As to CPS... I have tried when I lived with my mother. Who do I speak to to get CPS's attention? Last time they turned their heads and gave me counceling while my mother drank, did drugs and mentally abused me. My social worker pretty much left me there in that drug infested town, with my mother now knowing I wanted out. She was not happy with that.
There aren't any school concelors that would help me because they all have spoken to my grandma and think her to be a "lovely, caring woman". She can be a "lovely, caring woman", but most of the time she's easilly agitated, angry at someone, quick to deny me a ride to school because she's mad, or spouting off about her religion. I know none of these are illegal, but not getting me to school because she's irritated...? I'm not sure how that would look in the court's eyes.

8) I'm having to walk everywhere. School, library, and to potential working places to scedual interviews. I have no complaints, I like walking, but I fear that because her car is dead and she has no spare money to fix it, her cash flow will deminish, considering that ontop of dissability, she takes jobs as a nurse. Is it illegal to be on dissability and also be working? I thought it was considering she told me no one was to know. In conclusion, the people who drive past me and slow down, I fear being kidnapped and I do not feel safe even when I do get home due to my father's habbits.

Anything else I need to clear up to get some answers?

((thank you for helping me to those who ARE helping))

 

[cbg]

((thank you for helping me to those who ARE helping))

Since I'm quite sure this is directed at me...

If you only realized it, I was helping you. But since I wasn't doing it the way you wanted me to, you chose to get on your high horses about it.

Sure, you can spout the requirements for emancipation. That's a far cry from understanding what it actually involves and more than once you have shown that you don't. Stealth has pointed some of these out.

But since you don't seem to be open to any options except the one that is NOT going to happen, I'm not quite sure what help you actually expect.

 

[Ienay]

Income: heading in for an interview today and has a few applications elsewhere
Once again she mis-phrased herself. It is an independent study course not home schooling, thought even home schooling is an accepted way to graduate is it not? Basically I should think all they require is that the person applying for the emancipation is still acquiring credits at an acceptable rate. But I’m not sure and that’s why we came here. The judge’s decision is an uncontrolled variable, thus leaving her living away from her family My guess is she could prove to the courts that her income is high enough to support herself outside of family and friends homes by bringing in a few pay stubs and apartment advertisements within her range. But, once again that’s why we’re here to find this information before taking this case before a judge, we have a few months yet to become further knowledgeable about the subject. I believe we have enough evidence against her family to weigh in our favor some, I’m pretty sure withholding the fact that Luke has violated his parole numerous times by using marijuana in her home is quite illegal.

Thank you, you’re the first person to honestly look into what we’ve posted.

EDIT: Sorry to leave, I need to get some rest in hopes of recovering from this ailment.

Just to clarify I had not evaded the question.

 

[Ienay]

You ARE aware that there is no "we" in this situation, right?
- Carl

Yes I am aware that I have no standing in this case, but the fact of the matter is I am going to help her research and prepare. Also I would like to point out the fact that I have repeatedly asked for alternative options yet both active aids seem to think that emancipation is the one and only option we are willing to try. At the moment it is the only option that seems to get her out of her families "care" and out of that area. Also I was under the impression that my mother would be taking legal guardianship over her not actually to be considered my sister nor my mothers daughter, now this may have been mis-communication between us, not her wording.

 

[AHA]

One thing that bothers me is the marriage thoughts you said you're having. Contemplating marriage at 16 is definately not an adult mature decision, so to have any chance of being emancipated those thoughts need to be put to sleep for several years, there are far more crucial hurdles(as listed repeatedly earlier) to climb over. Marriage should be last thing on both your minds!!!

 

[Ienay]

Contemplating marriage at 16 is definately not an adult mature decision, so to have any chance of being emancipated those thoughts need to be put to sleep for several years, there are far more crucial hurdles(as listed repeatedly earlier) to climb over. Marriage should be last thing on both your minds!!!

Explain your opinion please.

 

[CdwJava]

Also I was under the impression that my mother would be taking legal guardianship over her not actually to be considered my sister nor my mothers daughter, now this may have been mis-communication between us, not her wording.

If she were to be taken from her home, your mother would not get even temporary guardianship. The goal is always family re-unification, so for at least the first year she would be in foster care or with a relative in the same county (or nearby). After that, then a family member would get the chance to obtain guardianship.

Oh, I'm also a foster parent and work closely with our local CPS in several different programs.

The only way that CA would grant any temporary guardianship to your mom would be if her mom agreed to it and signed over that responsibility to your mom.

- Carl

 

[Ienay]

-such back and forth through the post on special occasions/ holidays we celebrate.

Now to wait to be ridiculed for having such a long distance relationship…

EDIT: forgot ages Shannon is 15, 16 as of April 25th;
I am 16, 17 as of the 22nd of May.

Quoted the wrong one... oops

 

[AHA]

Explain your opinion please.

What's to explain? It's crystal clear.

 

[stealth2]

Also I was under the impression that my mother would be taking legal guardianship over her not actually to be considered my sister nor my mothers daughter, now this may have been mis-communication between us, not her wording.

Your girlfriend asked if your parents could adopt her. That would make her your sister, legally.

Here's the problem. There is a requirement that she be living on her own. Now, we know that she isn't going to be able to meet that requirement because her guardian will not allow her to move out on her own. The solution proposed was to have documentation to show that she *could* support herself if she were emancipated. But that doesn't address the "why" of that requirement.

If the two of you were to scan this board - in even the most cursory manner - you'd see that it is full of kids like Shannon, who want to be out on their own for any number of reasons. It wouldn't be all that tough to amass the funds over the space of a year or so, to build up documentation that shows they have enough money to pay for stuff. But what it DOESN'T show is that the kid has the responsibility to actually spend that money the way it needs to be spent. When push comes to shove, budgeting their earnings wisely to ensure that the essentials are covered. Choosing to pay rent, utilities, health care premiums, car insurance premiums, school fees, etc and forgoing the clothes, movies, dinners out, junk food, etc. when money's tight. Saying, sorry Ienay - I can't pay these phone bills anymore - and sticking to it. There is no track record. And that's what's needed to prove to a judge that you are mature enough to be on your own. That's why the law requires a minor to be living on their own and to be self-supporting before legally emancipating him/her.