Help! I think my friend is putting her husband's custody in jeopardy!

[LocalRocket]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? She's in CO

Facebook is such a lovely place, isn't it? A long-time friend of mine married a man with 2 children (girl 9 and boy 12) close to two years ago now. Aside from twice yearly visits, we normally just communicate via phone and e-mail. However, we recently became "friends" on Facebook, and I've been exposed to a whole new side of her that I can't believe is there! She has to be the ULTIMATE overstepping stepparent in every way I've heard of on this forum.

She has albums posted of "My daughter so-and-so" "our children", and all kinds of crazy comments about being so grateful that God has put her into the lives of these children so that they may see what a "real mother" is like. It goes on and on, but last night's were the most disturbing. She's "thankful" (in the spirit of Thanksgiving) that she's now able to "see THEIR kids biological mother for who she really is." She has previously made all the usual claims about CPS, drug use, mental illness, etc., but now she is saying that the kids' mother is possessed by demons, and that "Satan" has "strongholds" in mom's house and is "in charge" there. She even said that she wishes the mom would have been successful in "hanging herself" when she tried to commit suicide years ago. While some people are dealing with stepmom making the kids change clothes and shower when they get to dad's, this lady is wanting to speak in tongues and cast spirits out the children before they cross the threshold into "her" home (which is the house these kids grew up in before she came along.)

They are going to court next week for custody, and I had half a mind to let her bury herself, but feel sorry for the kids involved. I sent her a private message telling her that she needs to remove that stuff from her facebook ASAP as it could jeopardize her husband's current liberal visitation, but she said that since she's not a party to the legal matter that her stuff won't be considered. She also argued that since the mom is not her Facebook "friend" she can't see the stuff herself and so it wouldn't be admissable.

Am I jumping the gun here? What are the chances that she could negatively affect the outcome of her husband's case?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? She's in CO

Facebook is such a lovely place, isn't it? A long-time friend of mine married a man with 2 children (girl 9 and boy 12) close to two years ago now. Aside from twice yearly visits, we normally just communicate via phone and e-mail. However, we recently became "friends" on Facebook, and I've been exposed to a whole new side of her that I can't believe is there! She has to be the ULTIMATE overstepping stepparent in every way I've heard of on this forum.

She has albums posted of "My daughter so-and-so" "our children", and all kinds of crazy comments about being so grateful that God has put her into the lives of these children so that they may see what a "real mother" is like. It goes on and on, but last night's were the most disturbing. She's "thankful" (in the spirit of Thanksgiving) that she's now able to "see THEIR kids biological mother for who she really is." She has previously made all the usual claims about CPS, drug use, mental illness, etc., but now she is saying that the kids' mother is possessed by demons, and that "Satan" has "strongholds" in mom's house and is "in charge" there. She even said that she wishes the mom would have been successful in "hanging herself" when she tried to commit suicide years ago. While some people are dealing with stepmom making the kids change clothes and shower when they get to dad's, this lady is wanting to speak in tongues and cast spirits out the children before they cross the threshold into "her" home (which is the house these kids grew up in before she came along.)

They are going to court next week for custody, and I had half a mind to let her bury herself, but feel sorry for the kids involved. I sent her a private message telling her that she needs to remove that stuff from her facebook ASAP as it could jeopardize her husband's current liberal visitation, but she said that since she's not a party to the legal matter that her stuff won't be considered. She also argued that since the mom is not her Facebook "friend" she can't see the stuff herself and so it wouldn't be admissable.

Am I jumping the gun here? What are the chances that she could negatively affect the outcome of her husband's case?

you told her. that's all you really can do.

she sounds typical for an overstepper. wow. i feel bad for those kids.

but yeah, HER stuff CAN be considered. especially if the children see that even by accident.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Is her account open for all to see, or set so that only her "friends" can see?

Also, if it's been up for any length of time at all, it may just be to late, sadly enough.

 

[LocalRocket]

It's only open to friends, but in my mind, that doesn't make it secure. The way this stuff works, someone else could see it easily. For example, she may only have 50 "friends", but one of them is her own 16 year old daughter. Her daughter has over 600 "friends". If she were to comment on her own mom's post/thread, all of HER friends would have access to view that particular comment. They live in a very small town, and I think it's very unlikely that daughter doesn't have friends who are mutually friends with the children's mother or her relatives. And this is the kind of gossip that I'm sure would spread like wildfire.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly if she is doing that on facebook, I would hazard a guess that MOM knows what stepmom is. It wouldn't surprise me that stepmom has made herself and her feelings known in many ways. Your friend CAN be considered -- true she is not a party HOWEVER she is a part of the children's lives and her impact on them and on her spouse (the child's parent) can be DETRIMENTAL.

 

[frylover]

she sounds typical for an overstepper. wow. i feel bad for those kids.

From all I've read here, OP's friend is definitely making trouble for hubby.

However, maybe it's just me, but if OP's friend really believes that Satan has a stronghold in mom's home and is in control there and is wanting to cast out demons before they come in the house, I think stepmom is past a "typical overstepper". Sounds to me like she is close to going 'round the bend!

 

[wileybunch]

If Mom's just a normal Mom doing the best she can, what stepmom is doing would probably make me angry enough to consider dropping a bug in Mom's ear. I mean the REAL Mom. Not sure if I actually would do it, but it pains me to no end when I'm aware of a parent jacking with the other parent because it's so anti-children, it makes me sick.

 

[truebluemd]

I am pretty sure those kids are running home to mom telling them how crazy stepmom is if she is really doing that stuff.

 

[gr8rn]

I am with you wileybunch. That kind of crap cannot be contained on her facebook page. I am sure she is letting her feelings be known and Rocket, you did what you could but what she did is so wrong.

 

[frylover]

I am pretty sure those kids are running home to mom telling them how crazy stepmom is if she is really doing that stuff.

I think if someone had tried to "cast out my demons" when I was 12, I would have mentioned it to someone!

 

[LocalRocket]

To clarify, I no longer consider this woman a friend. What she's doing is horrible, and I've lost any respect I had for her. Unfortunately, our parents are life-long friends and I'm also friends with her siblings, so she'll always be around to some degree. I do agree with OG and others; if she's saying this stuff on Facebook, she probably says it to anyone who will listen, and Mom probably already knows...

I told her that if she really loved her husband and these kids, she needs to take that garbage, as well as some other info, off of her page ASAP. She has re-typed and posted the parenting plan modification they requested in the "notes" section for all to view and comment on. In addition, she constantly posts about her love for marijuana and why it should be legalized. She was granted a "license" to possess it for medicinal reasons (depression) from another state, so she feels that her use of it is legal and ok to do whenever. This isn't just me speculating; she specifically talks about it on her page. I'm personally not big on criminalizing pot, but IMHO, just because I think something "should" be legal doesn't give me the right to break the current law, especially when caring for children. She wants to have mom drug tested, claiming that while her personal drug use is legal, "bio"mom is (supposedly) using illicit street drugs. I'm hoping this request backfires on her, but I don't know if stepparents can be drug tested. Can they?

 

[Silverplum]

FYI: Medical marijuana IS legal in CO. She'd have to have a CO MM License, but it's legal.

IMHO...you've done what you can. There's nothing constructive to be gained by discussing her.

In addition, she constantly posts about her love for marijuana and why it should be legalized. She was granted a "license" to possess it for medicinal reasons (depression) from another state, so she feels that her use of it is legal and ok to do whenever. This isn't just me speculating; she specifically talks about it on her page. I'm personally not big on criminalizing pot, but IMHO, just because I think something "should" be legal doesn't give me the right to break the current law, especially when caring for children. She wants to have mom drug tested, claiming that while her personal drug use is legal, "bio"mom is (supposedly) using illicit street drugs. I'm hoping this request backfires on her, but I don't know if stepparents can be drug tested. Can they?

 

[ecmst12]

If CPS is getting involved, they would investigate anyone living in the same households with the kids and possibly anyone else they spend a lot of time with.

 

[LocalRocket]

FYI: Medical marijuana IS legal in CO. She'd have to have a CO MM License, but it's legal.

IMHO...you've done what you can. There's nothing constructive to be gained by discussing her.

Thanks, Silverplum. I did know that medical marijuana is legal in CO, but I also know that her license was issued in CA, and was denied a CO MM license. (She had been investigated for growing, sharing, selling to unlicensed users at the time, and in addition, they wanted her to have a reason why she was unable to take a traditional antidepressant.) Anyway, I was pretty sure that being licensed in another state was only good for that state, and that those licenses weren't automatically transferable.

At this point, I agree that I can't help her. Out of curiousity though, do you (or does anyone else) know the implications, if any, of someone with a medical marijuana license smoking pot while being the caregiver of children? Would a parent who legally obtained and smoked pot still be less fit due to regular drug use than a parent who were not using it at all? (Given there are no other mitigating circumstances, of course...) I would hope it still had some bearing, but perhaps I'm being naive.

 

[Isis1]

Thanks, Silverplum. I did know that medical marijuana is legal in CO, but I also know that her license was issued in CA, and was denied a CO MM license. (She had been investigated for growing, sharing, selling to unlicensed users at the time, and in addition, they wanted her to have a reason why she was unable to take a traditional antidepressant.) Anyway, I was pretty sure that being licensed in another state was only good for that state, and that those licenses weren't automatically transferable.

At this point, I agree that I can't help her. Out of curiousity though, do you (or does anyone else) know the implications, if any, of someone with a medical marijuana license smoking pot while being the caregiver of children? Would a parent who legally obtained and smoked pot still be less fit due to regular drug use than a parent who were not using it at all? (Given there are no other mitigating circumstances, of course...) I would hope it still had some bearing, but perhaps I'm being naive.

i would think so. i know it's been awhile since my stupid high school days, but jeez, how can you even function and be responsible for children much less yourself??