Help needed, I am being accused of libel

[BillyG]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

I called someone a stalker on a forum because they had visited my personal website and my online portfolio which was caught in the web stats for my web sites. In addition this person logs onto the forum as soon as I do (you can see who is online without being logged in) and has made reference in posts to three threads that I have visited. Again, you see where a person is by clicking on the members list. There are over 80,000 posts in this forum, yet he knows which threads I have visited, even ones I have not posted in! Quite often I would be in a thread, and moments later, his name would surface at the bottom (IOW, he followed me to that thread). I had a brief relationship with this man who I rejected and lives in the next state.

Now he is threatening me with libel since I called him out on the forums for it. I also said that he had threatened to hold a poll about me because he sent me an email saying "maybe I should hold a poll about you". He is also claiming that this was not a threat, and that I also libeled him about that. Ironically another poster posted in the thread that "others" had PM'd her about receiving similar threats.

What do you guys think? Am I in trouble?

 

[cyjeff]

I wouldn't worry about it.

I would think about an actual stalking charge... may I assume that you and this man have met IRL and dated?

 

[BillyG]

I wouldn't worry about it.

I would think about an actual stalking charge... may I assume that you and this man have met IRL and dated?

We met and dated for 2/3 weeks and I called the relationship off. He lives about 40 miles away from me.

 

[quincy]

Because stalking is a crime, falsely calling someone a stalker can be considered defamatory. However, if you prefaced your comments about him with an explanation as to why you considered him a stalker, your comments could be looked at as opinion and, therefore, not defamatory.

I doubt that you have enough for any stalking action against him if this guy is merely "following you around" online. That alone would probably not support a court issuing any restraining order against him. If, however, he were to follow you around offline (ie. showing up outside your house or at your place of business, or contacting you by phone), then it may be possible, if you fear for your safety.

 

[Alex23]

How do you know that he's not just trying to protect himself from defamatory comments from you?

 

[BillyG]

In addition, this man has sent me a video clip of my daughter and I in the audience at a concert, which he had taken from the opposite side of the arena. He also posted it on his web site.

We got into a contentious argument over a common Christmas saying and because I expressed that I did not appreciate it because of my "interpretation" he posted a "graphical representation" in his signature online so that every thread I visit had this graphic. (He has posted over 5,000 posts since the site began in September 2008 and has the most posts, and has posted several times in most threads – impossible to avoid this character). This stopped after two weeks, and he removed the graphic from his signature. Then recently when I replied to one of his "political" posts saying that it was against the rules to make political posts on the board, he replied with yet another “graphic” (which he has since removed from that post). Before all this happened, I sent him an email saying that any further email from him would be classed as spam and deleted. That is when he decided to take everything online.

When I called him out over the stalking and the threat to hold a poll, he said he wanted to post my emails online, which he has since edited and removed. He also posted a huge long post which basically made me out to be a liar. I provided documentation to disprove his post, but not before the post had been up online for a number of days. He also insinuated that we were having an "intimate" relationship in that post for everyone to see. He went on to remove/edit the post and issued a public apology/retraction of his post. Along with the admission that he has edited other posts in the forum. I do have copies of this post and a subsequent longer post and the current post which basically apologizes for his part in the "drama". I also have a screen-print of his retraction.

Lately, in other threads, he has been claiming that he likes "easy money" from winning bets etc. Hmmm...and libel cases no doubt

I suppose you live and learn....

To Quincy: I did not preface the stalker accusation with any opinion and he has since made a post in that thread that he has printed my accusation out to present as evidence. IOW, I can not go back and edit it.

 

[BillyG]

How do you know that he's not just trying to protect himself from defamatory comments from you?

Hi Alex

IMHO I don't think my comments were defamatory. I believe anyone that visits every page of your personal website, your online portfolio, follows you around online, posts a video of you online on his own web site is very stalker-ish.

He is the one that took this online, not me. I am a very private person. He has posted practically every detail of our personal relationship online for everyone to read.

He has posted in other threads about the "friend" that bailed on him etc. etc. I have been totally intimidated. How would you feel if somebody sent you an email saying "maybe they should do a poll about you online"?

IMHO, not only is this man a bully, but he is trying to take me to court to win $$$'s because he thinks I have the means to "pay up".

 

[quincy]

First, stop going online to the sites he frequents and stop responding to anything he posts and stop posting any comments about him.

I doubt if he has any defamation action he can pursue against you with any chance of success, but it is unwise to post anything about him that you cannot prove is true. Opinions are tricky and can be considered defamatory if they imply false facts. The only sure way to avoid any defamation action is to not say anything about this guy at all.

You may want to file an harassment or stalking report with the police and then you may want to go to court with evidence of his harassment and try to obtain a civil harassment or stalking protection order against him. If this guy is videotaping you and your daughter in various locations and posting these videotapes online, that can be evidence of stalking.

Should he violate a protection order, have him arrested.

 

[HomeGuru]

Good one quincy.

 

[quincy]

Thanks, HG.

 

[Alex23]

I am a very private person.

Yet you put yourself out there to be stalked in an online situation. You could easily change your user name or email and go to a different forum to distance yourself from your lover, but you choose not to. That is YOUR choice.

 

[Quaere]

>>Yet you put yourself out there to be stalked in an online situation.

Is there a way to engage in online discussions without "putting yourself out there"?

>> You could easily change your user name or email

Are you saying this individual should throw away whatever friendships/reputation she/he has built and start all over under a new name? Does he/she pretend to be new and speak to others as if he/she is not someone that ever met them before?

>> and go to a different forum

Seriously? This is your solution?

>>That is YOUR choice.

Yes, I suspect it is OP's choice to continue life as usual. I don't think these suggestions helped to answer OP's question or to resolve OP's problem.

BillyG: The guy is not going to sue you because it would cost him at least $50k to do so and no atty is going to take such a case on a contingency.

Do some reading on obsessive behavior/stalkers. The very first thing you will learn is that every time you acknowledge this person or the things he is doing, you are fanning the flames. Stop taking this person's bait. Every time you respond to him in any way, you diminish your ability to show that HE is the problem.

Good luck.

 

[BillyG]

Yet you put yourself out there to be stalked in an online situation. You could easily change your user name or email and go to a different forum to distance yourself from your lover, but you choose not to. That is YOUR choice.

I have met a lot of the members in real life. I have met their families also. They have met me and my daughter. This is a paid subscription forum, I cannot change my user name, only buy another subscription for $40 and "pretend" to be someone else? This is a true community, a club where people actually know each other.

First you believe this person to be protecting himself from defamatory statement, now you believe that "if" I am being stalked, that it must be my fault? Perhaps it would be better to stay indoors forever, never go out? never go online? Let this person win/control?

This person was not my lover. We met 4-5 times and I told him that I did not wish to pursue the relationship any further. I simply did not have any feelings for the guy.

 

[BillyG]

>>Yet you put yourself out there to be stalked in an online situation.

Is there a way to engage in online discussions without "putting yourself out there"?

>> You could easily change your user name or email

Are you saying this individual should throw away whatever friendships/reputation she/he has built and start all over under a new name? Does he/she pretend to be new and speak to others as if he/she is not someone that ever met them before?

>> and go to a different forum

Seriously? This is your solution?

>>That is YOUR choice.

Yes, I suspect it is OP's choice to continue life as usual. I don't think these suggestions helped to answer OP's question or to resolve OP's problem.

BillyG: The guy is not going to sue you because it would cost him at least $50k to do so and no atty is going to take such a case on a contingency.

Do some reading on obsessive behavior/stalkers. The very first thing you will learn is that every time you acknowledge this person or the things he is doing, you are fanning the flames. Stop taking this person's bait. Every time you respond to him in any way, you diminish your ability to show that HE is the problem.

Good luck.

Thank you for your kind words. I have done a little research online over the past couple of days.

I am automatically subscribed to this topic where all this happened and today, in my email, this person has posted three consecutive posts one of which includes two YouTube videos of people being "served".

I have to log back on to unsubscribe. I am too terrified to log back on now, I am physically shaking and in a distressed state

 

[quincy]

Then, Billy, what you really need to do is stay off the internet long enough to file a police report and go to court for a protective order. Have him arrested if he violates it.

It is certainly possible that he can sue you for defamation but, unless there is more that you said about him than what you have posted here, he will not have an easy time winning any action. Filing a police report and getting that protective order will help you to defeat any defamation action he could have against you for calling him a stalker.

Anyone can sue, Billy. Not everyone can win a suit.

And if you are served with a complaint, hire a lawyer.