I am using this name my friend set up this account that you very much. I don't think you need to drudge up something that has nothing to do with me or my family in this case because I am using this account to post a question ANONYMOUSLY. Did you ever think that I do not want to be known, and I will, as a mother protecting my young, go to lengths to keep myself and my family safe? What is that to you? The questions I am asking are valid.Well, to take this thread in an entirely new direction, google OP's name. I don't think she's been completely upfront.
The reason I googled is that I was so amazed that a woman who only escaped such abuse 1 month ago was able to articulate her situation in such an objective way.
Hmmmmmm....interesting reading.Well, to take this thread in an entirely new direction, google OP's name. I don't think she's been completely upfront.
The reason I googled is that I was so amazed that a woman who only escaped such abuse 1 month ago was able to articulate her situation in such an objective way.
Everyday I ask myself why, and I am seeking help to try and understand everything. I grew up in an abusive home, my mother was never around, she would fly all over Europe and I hardly ever saw her. I'd rather not delve too deeply into MY childhood, but I grew up thinking that this was how it was supposed to be in a way, my friends were HIS friends, I placed people around me who enabled bad behavior, the only thing I can compare to that is addiction. Like I said in the past year, year and a half I have met OTHER people, different people, people who understand UNCONDITIONAL love, something I rarely saw or felt myself for a looong time except from my kids. My mama bear was a shell, until my now roommate and HER family meteorically gave me a slap in the face. I was so lost in all of this. And I am ashamed.I've been in an abusive relationship before so I do understand the fear and even more so, the denial and desire to minimalize the abuse. However, when he stopped only abusing OP and began including the children in his abusive acts, I'm just surprised the mama bear instinct didn't kick in the way it's supposed to.
Ah, I see. Did it ever occur to you or your friend that using your or her real name would make it easy for your husband to find you online? Sorry, I just don't believe you. Most people who want to remain anonymous online use a name like 'username' or 'scaredmom' or 'I'mTheFather'.I am using this name my friend set up this account that you very much. I don't think you need to drudge up something that has nothing to do with me or my family in this case because I am using this account to post a question ANONYMOUSLY. Did you ever think that I do not want to be known, and I will, as a mother protecting my young, go to lengths to keep myself and my family safe? What is that to you? The questions I am asking are valid.
No I did not, I don't think either of us knew that old account still existed, she registered to this site this morning as she was helping me to build my case for the custody hearing. I frankly don't care what you think, I was just trying to get some helpful advice and didn't think to make a new account, that would seem silly since we were both using the same computer. The fact that you are trying to make this into something personal scares me quite honestly. I'm not sure what you are trying to do here as it has nothing to do with the advice I am seeking.Ah, I see. Did it ever occur to you or your friend that using your or her real name would make it easy for your husband to find you online? Sorry, I just don't believe you. Most people who want to remain anonymous online use a name like 'username' or 'scaredmom' or 'I'mTheFather'.
My gfs name is Kathryn yes, I'd rather not get her involved in all this if you please.Can we assume you're real name is Kathryn then? Or your friend's real name is?
I could not agree more. I didn't behave rationally in my abusive marriage at all, in retrospect, but at the time I was terrified and behaved in the way I thought protected the kids and me best. That meant standing by my man for a long time, long after logic would have stated otherwise.Until and unless you have been in an abusive relationship, it is very difficult to understand. It all creeps up on you, breaks you down. Until you don't know up from down, day from night, black from white...
I understand the harshness towards some posters, but I do think we could try to be a bit more gentle/understanding with abuse victims.
You made a lot more sense when you were describing your history of abuse.No I did not, I don't think either of us knew that old account still existed, she registered to this site this morning as she was helping me to build my case for the custody hearing. I frankly don't care what you think, I was just trying to get some helpful advice and didn't think to make a new account, that would seem silly since we were both using the same computer. The fact that you are trying to make this into something personal scares me quite honestly. I'm not sure what you are trying to do here as it has nothing to do with the advice I am seeking.
Oh and... that isn't anyone's name "Did it ever occur to you or your friend that using your or her real name would make it easy for your husband to find you online? " that is an old user name... not a real name... nobody is that stupid.