Help!!!! Regarding ex trying to get custody!!!

[eliandsky]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

Okay, as of march of 2007, me and my exes divorce was finalized, after being set to go to trial over custody of the kids (he wanted joint physical), the day before trial he relized that he would not win and we came to an agreement. I got physical custody with him having visitation every other weekend and on wednesday evenings as well as 2 two week visits with the kids every year. Our kids are now 2 and 3 years old and he is claiming that he is taking me to court to try and get joint physical custody. He has had 3 different jobs over the past year, and was unemployed for several months. He is now living with his fiance and her 3 children. I have been running a state liscensed in-home daycare for 4 years now, so the kids are at with 24/7 when they are not with their dad. He works from 6:30am until 6pm monday through friday and sometimes saturdays. He has a extensive criminal background, mostly drug related and robberies, from before I knew him ( i thought that people changed), he spent a total of 12 years in prison and has been out for about 6 years now. he has done many things over the past year and a half that to me prove that he is not able to care for these children on a joint custody basis. if in fact he is taking me to court, what are his chances??????

thanks, debbie

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

Okay, as of march of 2007, me and my exes divorce was finalized,

Okay.

after being set to go to trial over custody of the kids (he wanted joint physical),

Okay.

the day before trial he relized that he would not win and we came to an agreement.

That is nice.

I got physical custody with him having visitation every other weekend and on wednesday evenings as well as 2 two week visits with the kids every year. Our kids are now 2 and 3 years old and he is claiming that he is taking me to court to try and get joint physical custody.

Okay.

He has had 3 different jobs over the past year, and was unemployed for several months.

So?

He is now living with his fiance and her 3 children.

Okay.

I have been running a state liscensed in-home daycare for 4 years now, so the kids are at with 24/7 when they are not with their dad. He works from 6:30am until 6pm monday through friday and sometimes saturdays.

Okay.

He has a extensive criminal background, mostly drug related and robberies, from before I knew him ( i thought that people changed), he spent a total of 12 years in prison and has been out for about 6 years now.

And you thought him fit to have two children with. His past is irrelevant.

he has done many things over the past year and a half that to me prove that he is not able to care for these children on a joint custody basis.

What would change if he got joint physical custody? Seriously. Answer that. What would change if he got joint physical custody?

if in fact he is taking me to court, what are his chances??????

50/50. What substantial change in circumstance exists?

thanks, debbie

Welcome.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Iowa

Okay, as of march of 2007, me and my exes divorce was finalized, after being set to go to trial over custody of the kids (he wanted joint physical), the day before trial he relized that he would not win and we came to an agreement. I got physical custody with him having visitation every other weekend and on wednesday evenings as well as 2 two week visits with the kids every year. Our kids are now 2 and 3 years old and he is claiming that he is taking me to court to try and get joint physical custody. He has had 3 different jobs over the past year, and was unemployed for several months. He is now living with his fiance and her 3 children. I have been running a state liscensed in-home daycare for 4 years now, so the kids are at with 24/7 when they are not with their dad. He works from 6:30am until 6pm monday through friday and sometimes saturdays. He has a extensive criminal background, mostly drug related and robberies, from before I knew him ( i thought that people changed), he spent a total of 12 years in prison and has been out for about 6 years now. he has done many things over the past year and a half that to me prove that he is not able to care for these children on a joint custody basis. if in fact he is taking me to court, what are his chances??????

thanks, debbie

Of all the things that you mentioned, your respective work schedules are the most significant. You can be with the children 24/7, and he must be away from them for 12 hours a day, up to six days a week.

And again, as OG mentioned, dad needs a "change in circumstance".

 

[CJane]

I would recommed researching IA statutes/case law/speaking with an attorney practicing in IA.

It's POSSIBLE that dad doesn't need a change in circumstances since this was an agreed order. I can think of several states that will modify an agreed order w/out a change in circumstances.

 

[LdiJ]

I would recommed researching IA statutes/case law/speaking with an attorney practicing in IA.

It's POSSIBLE that dad doesn't need a change in circumstances since this was an agreed order. I can think of several states that will modify an agreed order w/out a change in circumstances.

That's the opposite of what I have observed. It always seemed to me like agreed orders were more difficult to modify than non agreed orders.

 

[CJane]

That's the opposite of what I have observed. It always seemed to me like agreed orders were more difficult to modify than non agreed orders.

In my observation - and again, not in IA - it's substantially easier to modify an agreed order mostly because the court hasn't heard any evidence on which to base a decision. So ALL of the 'evidence' you WOULD have used in trial the first time is still fair game.

Also, to simply change the TIME with a parent, not the CUSTODY arrangement... sometimes all that's needed is to show that it's in the kids' best interests to spend more time w/the other parent. That's not too huge of a burden.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

... after being set to go to trial over custody of the kids (he wanted joint physical), the day before trial he relized that he would not win and we came to an agreement. I got physical custody with him having visitation every other weekend and on wednesday

Why couldn't you agree to Dad having joint physical custody? Bet I know the answer.

What would change if he got joint physical custody? Seriously. Answer that. What would change if he got joint physical custody?

This answer I DO know. CS.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why couldn't you agree to Dad having joint physical custody? Bet I know the answer.
This answer I DO know. CS.

CS doesn't always change though. And I am still waiting on answers from the OP.

 

[proud_parent]

I would recommed researching IA statutes/case law/speaking with an attorney practicing in IA.

I am not an attorney, but here are some links to help OP's research along. [Pssst! Ohiogal was correct.]

Iowa Code Online (search for 598.41 CUSTODY OF CHILDREN):

http://coolice.legis.state.ia.us/Cool-ICE/default.asp?category=billinfo&service=IowaCode&ga=82#598.41


Case Law:

A party seeking a change in custody must establish that "conditions since the decree was entered have so materially and substantially changed that the children’s best interests make it expedient to make the requested change." In re Marriage of Smiley, 518 N.W.2d 376, 379 (Iowa 1994).

The parent wishing to modify custody must demonstrate superior care-taking abilities. In re Marriage of Rosenfeld, 524 N.W.2d 212, 213 (Iowa App. 1994).

 

[eliandsky]

okay, thank you all for the info that you have offered so far. to clear the air, this has absolutely nothing to do with child support, i do not need the child support that i am receiving and what i have been getting i have opened savings accts in both of the kids' names to help save for their future. i do not hate my ex, i cant hate him because we do have children together, there was alot of animosity in the beginning and i have gotten past all of that fairly well given the circumstances. please, do not go and make judgments when you dont even know the half of it, i am protecting my kids, thats all i have ever done and i didnt expect to be criticized for that. if you have a question about the the situation, than feel free to ask, but please, do not make assumptions or judge when you have no clue.

thanks again,
debbie

 

[CJane]

I am not an attorney, but here are some links to help OP's research along. [Pssst! Ohiogal was correct.]

Iowa Code Online (search for 598.41 CUSTODY OF CHILDREN):

http://coolice.legis.state.ia.us/Cool-ICE/default.asp?category=billinfo&service=IowaCode&ga=82#598.41


Case Law:

A party seeking a change in custody must establish that "conditions since the decree was entered have so materially and substantially changed that the children’s best interests make it expedient to make the requested change." In re Marriage of Smiley, 518 N.W.2d 376, 379 (Iowa 1994).

The parent wishing to modify custody must demonstrate superior care-taking abilities. In re Marriage of Rosenfeld, 524 N.W.2d 212, 213 (Iowa App. 1994).

Yes, but.

It actually sounds like OP's ex wants to change the VISITATION and not necessarily CUSTODY. THAT is what OP needs to determine and base the search on.

Because there IS a difference.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

..... if you have a question about the the situation, than feel free to ask, but please, do not make assumptions or judge when you have no clue.

thanks again,
debbie

Ok, well instead of defending yourself that it isn't about CS, answer the questions that Ohiogal(y'know, I just now caught the double entendre of your name) asked you in post #2.

 

[CJane]

Ok, well instead of defending yourself that it isn't about CS, answer the questions that Ohiogal(y'know, I just now caught the double entendre of your name) asked you in post #2.

Heh. I just 'got' it in the past month or so. Seriously.

We're like molasses darlin.

 

[eliandsky]

Ok, well instead of defending yourself that it isn't about CS, answer the questions that Ohiogal(y'know, I just now caught the double entendre of your name) asked you in post #2.

okay, as far as why did i see him fit to have children with, it was because i was young, stupid, naive and thought that he was a wonderful changed man. what would change if he got joint physical custody????? a ton would change...... first off would be the fact that they would be enrolled in a childcare for 12 hours a day rather than be in a at-home environment with the kids that are like brothers and sisters to them. for a 2 and 3 year old that is a huge deal!!!! they have no bedrooms at his house, my 2 1/2 year old daughter sleeps in a pack and play while at his house and my 3 year old son sleeps on the floor, both of them in his fiances 7 year old daughters room. they smoke cigarettes in the house constantly and my son has asthma, everytime they come home from dads my son has an awful cough and weezing and has to do breathing treatments. there would be a huge difference.

 

[eliandsky]

Heh. I just 'got' it in the past month or so. Seriously.

We're like molasses darlin.

??????????? im not sure what your referring to?