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Help with Ex-Wife and Custody

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aoyen81

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? North Dakota

OK - This will seem kind of petty but I don't see the point - I have a 4 year old daughter and a son who will be 2 in a few months. Due to the economic situation and the lack of places to live in my area I room with two friends of mine in a 3 bedroom house.

My daughter currently sleeps on a Dora blow-up mattress on the floor which she enjoys (last time I tried anything else she wouldn't goto sleep until i pulled it out and inflated it) which is in my room. Her mother is taking me to court over this - she wants me to buy a children's cot so she's up off the floor. My daughter has repeatedly said she doesn't want another bed.

As far as visitations are concerned is there anything wrong with my current arraignments? They are both young enough that them being in the same room as me isn't a concern and she doesn't want another bed - I've slept on a cot and a blow-up mattress and a cot is by far the more uncomfortable.

So my ultimate question would be is it worth me getting a lawyer or does she have actual legal ground to pursue this?
 
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tuffbrk

Senior Member
We had a fire - I'm sleeping on an air mattress but used insurance proceeds to purchase both of my sons new beds...

My 14 yo fell asleep on the couch last night - refused to get up and go to his lovely bed. :rolleyes:

My 20 yo? His preference is to keep quilts tossed on fold out beach loungers that I had brought into the house until I replaced the couch. :eek: His friends have slept in his new bed more than he has...he just loves the lounger!:rolleyes:

And yes, I have primary physical custody.

Tell the Ex that there are more important concerns on your mind and that they should pick their battles.
 
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aoyen81

Junior Member
Thats my stand on the whole thing - there are far more important things to deal with then on what our daughter is sleeping. I appreciate the input - but does she have any legal ground? If its just a matter of me going into court to defend myself I can do that - or if its something that will literally turn into a huge legal battle then I probably need to get a lawyer.
 
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Humusluvr

Senior Member
aoyen81 said:
What is the name of your state? North Dakota

OK - This will seem kind of petty but I don't see the point - I have a 4 year old daughter and a son who will be 2 in a few months. Due to the economic situation and the lack of places to live in my area I room with two friends of mine in a 3 bedroom house.

My daughter currently sleeps on a Dora blow-up mattress on the floor which she enjoys (last time I tried anything else she wouldn't goto sleep until i pulled it out and inflated it) which is in my room. Her mother is taking me to court over this - she wants me to buy a children's cot so she's up off the floor. My daughter has repeatedly said she doesn't want another bed.

As far as visitations are concerned is there anything wrong with my current arraignments? They are both young enough that them being in the same room as me isn't a concern and she doesn't want another bed - I've slept on a cot and a blow-up mattress and a cot is by far the more uncomfortable.

So my ultimate question would be is it worth me getting a lawyer or does she have actual legal ground to pursue this?
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Is mom TAKING you to court, or THREATENING to take you to court? Because it is pretty stupid on her part to retain an attorney over something she will likely lose on.
 
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tuffbrk

Senior Member
Does she have an attorney? Have you been served?

If so, does the paperwork provide any insight as to whether she is asking that you pay her attorney fee?

I would think if she is using an attorney, that this is not the only issue at hand.
 
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aoyen81

Junior Member
Right now i think she is threatening - she's using free legal advice she gets for being low income. I am not going to do anything with my lawyer until i get served with papers. The only other thing that it might be in regards to is paying half of her medical bills from our divorce (she hasn't provided me with any copies to pay and she wants me to just write her a check based on the information she gives me) - which would be a waste on her part - I'll pay them provided i have bills to verify their amounts and to who and when they were billed.

She hasn't paid a retainer fee and I'm not sure how/why she would attempt to make me responsible for her legal bills - we've been divorced for over a year now and these things are all on her own.
 
>Charlotte<

>Charlotte<

Lurker
Take a quick look around this site at all the posts from mothers who thought they could poke Dad with the "legal threat" stick because Princess wasn't sleeping on 600 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets in a bed in her own fabulously decorated room.

You can find them by looking for the padlock icon indicating a closed thread--which would have happened after just about everybody did the online equivalent of throwing stuff at her and telling her to sit down and shut up.

Don't worry about it. You're fine.
 
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Humusluvr

Senior Member
aoyen81 said:
Right now i think she is threatening - she's using free legal advice she gets for being low income. I am not going to do anything with my lawyer until i get served with papers. The only other thing that it might be in regards to is paying half of her medical bills from our divorce (she hasn't provided me with any copies to pay and she wants me to just write her a check based on the information she gives me) - which would be a waste on her part - I'll pay them provided i have bills to verify their amounts and to who and when they were billed.

She hasn't paid a retainer fee and I'm not sure how/why she would attempt to make me responsible for her legal bills - we've been divorced for over a year now and these things are all on her own.
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MOM would have to prove that she provided you with the medical bills. This could be by return receipt/certified letter. If she can't prove she provided them, then she can ask in court for you to pay your half, but only if she provides the court with copies of the bills. She doesn't get to just say - "Hey, kiddo had a three hundred dollar so give me money." The legal system doesn't go on people's word.
 
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summerdawn

Senior Member
My girls have their own bunkbeds in their room. BUT, every night they pull out two toddler mattresses from my closet, throw them on the floor with their blankets and pillows, and crash in my room. They love it.
 
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StampGirl

Senior Member
Clt747 said:
Take a quick look around this site at all the posts from mothers who thought they could poke Dad with the "legal threat" stick because Princess wasn't sleeping on 600 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets in a bed in her own fabulously decorated room.

You can find them by looking for the padlock icon indicating a closed thread--which would have happened after just about everybody did the online equivalent of throwing stuff at her and telling her to sit down and shut up.

Don't worry about it. You're fine.
Click to expand...

LOL I just had to comment and recommend this as Post of the Day!!! Right on point with this one.
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
don't feel bad. i didn't even SEE the search function until weeks later when a senior brought it up.
 
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aoyen81

Junior Member
... Not sure...

Ok - so my ex-wife just stopped by my work to ask if i was going to comply with her request (getting a different bed for our Daughter) - i advised her that I wasnt going to because she likes her current bed and I dont see any real need for it as it works and again, she likes it.

She said she was going to go through social services to get me to comply and then go to court if it was necessary.

Should I get a lawyer (i've talked to one and they said the same things all you guys have said) if she takes me to court - or is the Judge even going to really look at it as long as they have a safe home when they are with me.

Thanks again!

Andy
 
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