Help with Ex-Wife and Custody

[Humusluvr]

She said she was going to go through social services to get me to comply and then go to court if it was necessary.

Should I get a lawyer (i've talked to one and they said the same things all you guys have said) if she takes me to court - or is the Judge even going to really look at it as long as they have a safe home when they are with me.

Thanks again!

Andy

She hasn't done it yet. If she files against you, retain the attorney, and ask that she be responsible for the fees.

Or you could write her a nice email like this...

Dear EX,

On so-and-so date, you stated that you want me to buy a cot for daughter for my visitation. Daughter is currently provided with acceptable sleeping arrangements.

Our daughter's needs are met during my visitation. She is safe and well cared for.

If you make the choice to pursue this matter further in court, I will retain an attorney, and ask that you be responsible for my attorney's fees for your filing of a frivolous motion.

Please reconsider your choice. Our daughter is well cared for by me during my visitation.

Thank you."

What do you think? Heads her off at the pass, right?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Well said Humusluvr.

OP - you might want to send her on a goose chase looking for the exact statute that you must comply with. I am referring to a non-existent law.

Really, as long as the children have clean clothes, full tummies and a roof over their heads, they are fine. She cannot dictate these terms in spite of what she thinks.

Guess social services will have to take away everyone who goes camping, travelling in hotel/motel rooms, etc. Not.

 

[aoyen81]

Thats awesome advice - i was actually going to ask that next (based on the answer) if i could pursue having my fee's covered by her. I think I'll write this up and send it certified mail (or would email work just as well with a read/received receipt?).

 

[proud_parent]

I second the previous posters.

Frankly, I would not consider retaining an attorney for this, but if you do, ask for fees. Send your letter certified/return receipt so that you can include photographs documenting the acceptability of your present arrangements. (I'm imagining your four year old sporting bunny slippers and a big smile as she prepares to bunk down with Dora for the night.)

If your ex does press forward with petitioning the court, motion to dismiss. If this is truly the extent of her concern, her lawsuit would be without merit.

She may well drop her threat of legal action once she contacts social services and is told that they have no resources to pursue something so frivolous.


And if for some reason this would see the inside of a courtroom -- as your ex is the one who finds the accommodations lacking, pray the court that SHE be responsible to select, purchase, and deliver to your home such furniture as she would find preferable.

 

[aoyen81]

Thank you!

I have to express my thanks! You guys have been great and the advice has been on the spot. I think I have all the things I need to overcome this and I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks again for all the great information you provide to people!

 

[penelope10]

Ok - so my ex-wife just stopped by my work to ask if i was going to comply with her request (getting a different bed for our Daughter) - i advised her that I wasnt going to because she likes her current bed and I dont see any real need for it as it works and again, she likes it.

She said she was going to go through social services to get me to comply and then go to court if it was necessary.

Should I get a lawyer (i've talked to one and they said the same things all you guys have said) if she takes me to court - or is the Judge even going to really look at it as long as they have a safe home when they are with me.

Thanks again!

Andy

Today my Magic Eight Ball says if she takes you to court it might be a good idea to hire an attorney...LOL!!!Just being a smarty pants, sorry. But seriously, if she took you to court over something so trivial as this, I'd get an attorney that could give her a good legal spanking so she'd think twice before doing anything so petty again.

As far as Social Services goes---they probably aren't going to take what Mom says so seriously either. They see TRUE cases of neglect.


If you can't hire an attorney, you can certainly represent yourself.

 

[aoyen81]

I can definitely hire an attorney - just seemed like a waste considering what its about. Knowing that I can pursue having her pay the fee's however (quick side question - does this include my retainer - or just the actual court costs etc) I would be more likely to do it. I'm in a pretty tight financial situation but not getting screwed in court would be worth paying any lawyer.

I have a lawyer who would definitely put her in her place in court (or her lawyer i guess) - he's very expensive but he's very good at what he does.

(And the 8-ball crack made me laugh )

 

[fairisfair]

hiring an attorney, simply because you THINK a court will award you their fees, is ridiculous.

and suggesting to someone that they do so, even more.

you are STILL responsible to your attorney. And your ex is using free legal advice?? what exactly do you think the chances of her having money for your fees might be???

 

[penelope10]

hiring an attorney, simply because you THINK a court will award you their fees, is ridiculous.

and suggesting to someone that they do so, even more.

you are STILL responsible to your attorney. And your ex is using free legal advice?? what exactly do you think the chances of her having money for your fees might be???

I did not suggest that he hire an attorney now. It is up to him to hire one after service. Never said anything about attorney fees. So you and my Magic Eight Ball are in agreement. (Just teasing!)

 

[aoyen81]

I woudl'nt hire him just based on that - but if I can request for it I will. I have the retainer amount saved (have since I was divorced) for emergency situations. If there is a chance of me losing or having my visitation changed because of this I would retain his services (regardless of being compensated). I just did'nt want to waste the money I have saved for any future crap she might pull (threatening to take the kids and trying to move out of state).

Also - if it gets drug out forever (which doesnt seem to be the case) - I dont know that I can afford that since I only have enough for his retainer fee.