Hmmm, did I got screwed

[Doji]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NJ

I have been divorced from my ex wife for 1 year. We were married 10 years, one 6 year daughter. Blah, blah internet affairs, blah, blah I divorced her. Ok, that's done. I deferred 50k of my share of the equity in the house so my daughter could stay there, mistake probably, her family is loaded and paid me the rest in cash. Ex lives in a $630,000 house making $28,000 a year and keeps coming to me for more money. Her lawyer does this for nothing. How nice. I made $82,000 the year of the divorce. My base was only $55,000, the rest was OT and side work. Blah, blah, yes, I know about that. I hope my back holds out. This year my income will be around $80,000 and will continue to drop each year. It's a Catch 22. I have to make the money to pay her and my bills. She makes $30,000 at her full time job.
I pay alimony of $1083.34 a month, CS of $605 a month or $1,688.34 total for both. I have my daughter every other weekend, I pick her up from school 3 days a week 15 miles each way, one weekday night dinner till 8, every doctor's (dentist)appointments since birth and child therapist every week. I am very close with my daughter and she is being neglected by her mother. I was told by 2nd lawyer, now fired, the law doesn't require her to be a good mother. Plenty of examples.
Questions: Am I over paying my ex? At what income level would this be lowered? At what point, is enough enough concerning neglect?

Any thoughts? Thank you. My divorce costed me 15k and ex 5k, hmmm makes me wonder?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NJ

I have been divorced from my ex wife for 1 year. We were married 10 years, one 6 year daughter. Blah, blah internet affairs, blah, blah I divorced her. Ok, that's done. I deferred 50k of my share of the equity in the house so my daughter could stay there, mistake probably, her family is loaded and paid me the rest in cash. Ex lives in a $630,000 house making $28,000 a year and keeps coming to me for more money. Her lawyer does this for nothing. How nice. I made $82,000 the year of the divorce. My base was only $55,000, the rest was OT and side work. Blah, blah, yes, I know about that. I hope my back holds out. This year my income will be around $80,000 and will continue to drop each year. It's a Catch 22. I have to make the money to pay her and my bills. She makes $30,000 at her full time job.
I pay alimony of $1083.34 a month, CS of $605 a month or $1,688.34 total for both. I have my daughter every other weekend, I pick her up from school 3 days a week 15 miles each way, one weekday night dinner till 8, every doctor's (dentist)appointments since birth and child therapist every week. I am very close with my daughter and she is being neglected by her mother. I was told by 2nd lawyer, now fired, the law doesn't require her to be a good mother. Plenty of examples.
Questions: Am I over paying my ex? At what income level would this be lowered? At what point, is enough enough concerning neglect?

Any thoughts? Thank you. My divorce costed me 15k and ex 5k, hmmm makes me wonder?

At 80,000 a year your income is approximately 6667.00 a month. Your child support and alimony combined represent approximately 25% of that.

Since child support for one child generally is equal to about 17% of gross income and your child support of 605.00 is considerably less than 17%...it doesn't look to me like you got dinged as hard as most people would have. It looks to me like they may have only taken your base salary into consideration.
However, even at 55,000 your child support is significantly less than 17% of your gross.

There is no set percentage for alimony, but its not uncommon for it to be 25% of someone's gross. Your alimony figure would represent 25% of your gross base pay of 55,000. If the alimony was then deducted from the 55,000 and the CS was calculated on that (17%)..then it would be right about what you are paying.

Therefore, based on the numbers alone....it looks to me like only your base salary was taken into consideration.

Don't forget that alimony is tax deductible to you (above the line) and taxable income to her. Child support is not. Therefore you are going to be in a good position at tax time, and she is going to be hurting badly.

 

[BrunoS]

exactly the same numbers in my divorce, except I have NO KIDS with my ex.

She's getting 1k per month from me.

So your numbers are about right.

your attorney numbers are dead on, that's why I fired my attorney after realizing both my and my ex's attorney were playing pinball with each other while I was paying for it all.

as far as child support, usually they will get base pay + 32% GROSS of any overtime.

You got an ok deal, be happy with it.

your best bet is to eliminate spousal support eventually.

the child support remains until she is 18.

Be happy.

Without overtime, making the same pay as you, I take home $2,200 after deductions...my ex gets the other 1k per month.

In my case, my ex-is getting 30% of my take-home with NO KIDS.

She also got 50% of house, cars, stuff, pension, stock plan, and 5 years of support...so she can have live-in boyfriends, party, etc, while I work rotating shift work.

She can take me back to court anytime....as can yours.

So, be happy, and be a good dad.

 

[Bali Hai]

You got an ok deal, be happy with it.

your best bet is to eliminate spousal support eventually.

that would be a good thing to do for sure...and exactly HOW is he to do this? you make it sound like a walk in the park

 

[Bali Hai]

There is no set percentage for alimony, but its not uncommon for it to be 25% of someone's gross.

when a larger portion of women start paying 25% of their gross income to men, you'll see just how "uncommon" it will become

Don't forget that alimony is tax deductible to you (above the line) and taxable income to her. Child support is not. Therefore you are going to be in a good position at tax time, and she is going to be hurting badly.

He would be in a better position at tax time not paying any alimony at all!

She is going to be hurting badly? She is paying the tax on the alimony with HIS money!! How is this hurting her badly??

 

[LdiJ]

He would be in a better position at tax time not paying any alimony at all!

She is going to be hurting badly? She is paying the tax on the alimony with HIS money!! How is this hurting her badly??

I am an accountant and a professional tax preparer and I see this over and over again.

The payer of alimony ends up with a whopping refund, because he/she didn't realize how much the alimony effected withholding.

The receiver of alimony, who usually has a low overall income and little savings, end up owing a HUGE amount to the IRS, because they didn't understand the impact of NO withholding.

This doesn't happen with child support, because child support is not taxable income to the receiver or a deduction to the payer. However it does with alimony.

 

[BrunoS]

payer of the alimony gets a whopping refund????

you've got to be kidding me!!

let's see, my 1k month support= i'm in the 15% tax bracket....that works out to saving me maybe 1,500 in federal tax.

I'll tell you what, give me 10,500$ to keep this year, mr. accountant, and I'll be HAPPY to give you 1,500 to pay to tax for me!!! you're funny

In her tax bracket, she pays almost zero taxes...

so go figure.

she got to keep the 70k stock, 34k equity from house, 50k pension, new car, almost all the house goods, and 1k month support for 5 years...not too shabby considering we were 33 years old with NO KIDS. Plus 2,200 a month and 34% GROSS of any overtime during the 1 year seperation / court dates, etc, until it was final.

just be happy.

eventually spousal support will end...read your final orders from the court, and plan on going back to court eventually.

 

[Zephyr]

I'll tell you what, give me 10,500$ to keep this year, mr. accountant, and I'll be HAPPY to give you 1,500 to pay to tax for me!!! you're funny


that would be MS. Accountant

and I do believe she said usually

 

[LdiJ]

payer of the alimony gets a whopping refund????

you've got to be kidding me!!

let's see, my 1k month support= i'm in the 15% tax bracket....that works out to saving me maybe 1,500 in federal tax.

I'll tell you what, give me 10,500$ to keep this year, mr. accountant, and I'll be HAPPY to give you 1,500 to pay to tax for me!!! you're funny

In her tax bracket, she pays almost zero taxes...

so go figure.

she got to keep the 70k stock, 34k equity from house, 50k pension, new car, almost all the house goods, and 1k month support for 5 years...not too shabby considering we were 33 years old with NO KIDS. Plus 2,200 a month and 34% GROSS of any overtime during the 1 year seperation / court dates, etc, until it was final.

just be happy.

eventually spousal support will end...read your final orders from the court, and plan on going back to court eventually.

You didn't get the point that I was making......or you don't WANT to get the point I was making.

However I think that anybody else reading the post will understand, and that is good enough for me.

 

[Doji]

Thanks for the input...I feel better

The moral of the story is....

Well, there doesn't have to be any morals in a no fault state. If it feels good, do it. Spread the lust and pesky STDs to anyone and everyone. Always remember, Herpes can be covered up on court dates.

Never marry someone with less than you because this could be a business venture too. Here's an idea to help the problem with the courts. The IRS should have a box at the end of the tax return where they could match you up (for a fee, of course) with other singles with similar incomes, assets etc. Just think, if you lie on this profile, you could go to jail.

Always use the children as leverage. They are your golden ticket. Remember, "The law doesn't require you to be a good parent" and the laws were made for you, not them. I could give my idiot every penny I make and she would still have over 15k on her credit cards.

Tired of being yanked into court everytime there's a sale at Macy's? Try this, wear a t shirt that reads "SCREW THIS COURT" next time so someone will take care of you for a while. Well deserved rest and 3 meals a day, doesn't sound too bad.

Lawyers should get your noses out of the judges' asses and stop taking advantage of productive, hard working members of this society. You can all be replaced by a CD-ROM. Yes, like the one you use.

Guys and gals, thanks again for you replies, just venting here. All the best.

 

[Bali Hai]

I am an accountant and a professional tax preparer and I see this over and over again.

The payer of alimony ends up with a whopping refund, because he/she didn't realize how much the alimony effected withholding.

The receiver of alimony, who usually has a low overall income and little savings, end up owing a HUGE amount to the IRS, because they didn't understand the impact of NO withholding.

This doesn't happen with child support, because child support is not taxable income to the receiver or a deduction to the payer. However it does with alimony.

Sinceyou are an accountant, you should instruct your alimony paying clients to resubmit a W4 each year that will only withhold the amount of the tax liability for that year.

You appear to saying all alimony payers get a whopping refund like it fell from the sky. Letting the goverment use your money all year with no interest is stupid.

 

[Bali Hai]

You didn't get the point that I was making......or you don't WANT to get the point I was making.

However I think that anybody else reading the post will understand, and that is good enough for me.

There is no point in what you are saying.

You are trying to rationalize (sugarcoat) alimony to someone who pays it with a so-called "tax benefit" as a means to try and make it more palatable.

That's just plain BS.

As the gentleman said, "let me keep MY money awarded as alimony and I'll pay the tax on it.

There are two reasons for alimony:

1. To keep women off welfare. The courts know women do not have what it takes to keep a job.

2. To keep the economy healthy. The courts know that men tend to save money because they know the value and hard work it takes to get it. Women tend to spend every dime they come into contact with.

 

[AHA]

The courts know women do not have what it takes to keep a job.

2. To keep the economy healthy. The courts know that men tend to save money because they know the value and hard work it takes to get it. Women tend to spend every dime they come into contact with.

And of course you have the statistics that prove this bullcr@p??
If not, then the bullcr@p is just YOUR personal opinion after obviously having been screwed over by a smarter woman. Bitterness is very unattractive in a person, just to let you know for when you hunt for a new woman.

 

[Bali Hai]

And of course you have the statistics that prove this bullcr@p??
If not, then the bullcr@p is just YOUR personal opinion after obviously having been screwed over by a smarter woman. Bitterness is very unattractive in a person, just to let you know for when you hunt for a new woman.

Thanks for YOUR personal opinion.

It appears that you enjoy men "having been screwed over by a smarter woman".

Not a very attractive attribute either.

Thanks but I wouldn't "hunt" for a new woman.

That would be like hunting rats.

I kill what I hunt and I eat what I kill.

 

[AHA]

Thanks for YOUR personal opinion.

It appears that you enjoy men "having been screwed over by a smarter woman".

Not a very attractive attribute either.

Thanks but I wouldn't "hunt" for a new woman.

That would be like hunting rats.

I kill what I hunt and I eat what I kill.

It wasn't a personal opinion, and you have yet to provide facts that women are worse at keeping jobs and saving money!
Good luck with your life as a single.