Hold My Hand Please

[CJane]

We have a hearing date - September 24 @ 9am.

In an effort to keep me from freaking out, will someone who's been through it please post, as if I were a complete idiot, what my next steps are.

I'm heading up to pick up the kids soon, so may be away from the computer... tonight I'm going to put together my binders, but I also start a new job tomorrow and so will have VERY limited time to do anything courthouse related between now and the hearing. I'll need to REALLY maximize my time.

Help?

 

[LdiJ]

We have a hearing date - September 24 @ 9am.

In an effort to keep me from freaking out, will someone who's been through it please post, as if I were a complete idiot, what my next steps are.

I'm heading up to pick up the kids soon, so may be away from the computer... tonight I'm going to put together my binders, but I also start a new job tomorrow and so will have VERY limited time to do anything courthouse related between now and the hearing. I'll need to REALLY maximize my time.

Help?

The key is to pull together all of your evidence, so that it is very clear and concise. That is really all of the preparation that you need to do...other than perhaps a bit of practice on presenting yourself in court....possibly using family and friends as an "audience".

Index cards outlining what you want to say can be helpful.

 

[CJane]

The key is to pull together all of your evidence, so that it is very clear and concise. That is really all of the preparation that you need to do...other than perhaps a bit of practice on presenting yourself in court....possibly using family and friends as an "audience".

Index cards outlining what you want to say can be helpful.

So I pretend I'm back in debate class.

Ok... but I guess my biggest concern is figuring out what happens in a contempt hearing. Is it like the custody trial and there's lots of attorney interplay? Since HE has to show cause why he SHOULDN'T be held in contempt, is most of the burden on HIM? Will we be expected to testify/cross-examine/etc? I was hoping I'd be able to sit in on some hearings before this, but with starting a job tomorrow, I won't be able to.

I really have NO IDEA what will happen in there. And that's what's freaking me out.

 

[CourtClerk]

CJane:

Wanna hear something funny? I work in a courthouse, I'm in a courtroom all day long. When I get in front of the judge on my own crap... I lose my mind. My BFF tells me it's the control freak in me and I lose it because I know that in this one instance, my life and the life of my child are NOT in my hands... (she's the same way, we're gonna get help for that one day... not anytime soon, but one day )

Anyway, here's what I do. Like LD said, I write talking points. He makes me so mad I get flustered and forget or get tongue tied. It's ridiculous and I think most times I'm having an out of body experience. I don't use index cards, because I don't think Wal-Mart sells enough but I type them out and read them over and over and over. The morning of court, I reread them, then when I get into the courtroom, I read them again. Refresh my memory, envision myself saying this clearly and consicely without the excessive babble.

It has worked each and every time. Court is done now, but if I ever have to go back (God forbid) I'll do the same thing.

Good luck.

 

[CJane]

Ok, I just took a deep breath.

The way that the restraining order hearing went is this...

Neither of us was represented.

I sat at one table and Stupidhead and Stepbitch sat at the other. The judge asked questions of each of us, and let each of us respond to the other person. He maintained control of the situation without input from either of us. He asked if either of us had any evidence to present. Neither of us did.

No one got on the stand.

He issued his order, asked if we understood what the restraining order meant, and had the bailiff escort me from the room to go to the clerk's office and get my copy of the restraining order.

Once I had left the building, Stupidhead and his wife did the same.

 

[CourtClerk]

Oh... AND CONGRATS ON THE NEW JOB!!!!! Unemployment is officially over. What you needed to do is get a job in someone's attorney's office, but whatever you're doing, no doubt you'll do well.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Write out your questions ahead of time .... think about what the end result that you are trying to achieve.

Be prepared for him to skirt the answers and make you look bad.

Practice on your family. Have someone pretend to be stupidhead.

don't keep anything 'in your head' ... write EVERYTHING down.

congratulations on the new job!

 

[CJane]

Oh... AND CONGRATS ON THE NEW JOB!!!!! Unemployment is officially over. What you needed to do is get a job in someone's attorney's office, but whatever you're doing, no doubt you'll do well.

I would LOVE to work in an attorney's office. But, that's not in the cards for me.

And actually, this job is SO temp. Has to be as it barely pays more than unemployment. I have an interview Tuesday night for the job I REALLY REALLY want. Cross your fingers I get THAT ONE.

 

[CourtClerk]

Ok, I just took a deep breath.

The way that the restraining order hearing went is this...

Neither of us was represented.

I sat at one table and Stupidhead and Stepbitch sat at the other. The judge asked questions of each of us, and let each of us respond to the other person. He maintained control of the situation without input from either of us. He asked if either of us had any evidence to present. Neither of us did.

No one got on the stand.

He issued his order, asked if we understood what the restraining order meant, and had the bailiff escort me from the room to go to the clerk's office and get my copy of the restraining order.

Once I had left the building, Stupidhead and his wife did the same.

Your contempt hearing will be similar to this...

 

[CJane]

Your contempt hearing will be similar to this...

Good. Because I rocked at that.

I wrote my petition in outline form, so I'll go through it and make note cards for every main point. My binder will be organized exactly the same.

I NEED the dental records, like NOW. Bastages.

Once I have the binders together and know he's been served, I'll have the binders file stamped at the court house and CRR one to Stupidhead so he can't say he didn't have the info.

Three kids and I use my Lamaze breathing NOW. heh.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Gee ... the prayer list is getting longer! Between you and mojomom1!

 

[CJane]

Gee ... the prayer list is getting longer! Between you and mojomom1!

And I'm loving my judge even more... she's still waiting on a hearing for a family access motion and i have a hearing for a contempt motion filed 2 weeks AFTER HER?

 

[LdiJ]

Good. Because I rocked at that.

I wrote my petition in outline form, so I'll go through it and make note cards for every main point. My binder will be organized exactly the same.

I NEED the dental records, like NOW. Bastages.

Once I have the binders together and know he's been served, I'll have the binders file stamped at the court house and CRR one to Stupidhead so he can't say he didn't have the info.

Three kids and I use my Lamaze breathing NOW. heh.

I am going to disagree....sorry.

You will likely have to do questioning on this one, particularly if Stupidhead shows up with an attorney....and I think its possible that he will for this one. He has to either know that he has messed up this badly, or he is going to find out that his wife has.

Therefore it won't be the same as the restraining order hearing. You are likely going to have to be prepared to question/cross examine at least stupidhead and his wife...and deal with questions from stupidhead's attorney.

 

[CourtClerk]

Perhaps you've sat in on a few more contempt hearings in MO than I have, admittedly, I've never been to MO a day in my life. That's not the way they do things here though (irrelevant, I know).

 

[LdiJ]

Perhaps you've sat in on a few more contempt hearings in MO than I have, admittedly, I've never been to MO a day in my life. That's not the way they do things here though (irrelevant, I know).

I haven't...but I have sat in on cases in other midwestern states.