Holiday travel

[coolmomof4]

What is the name of your state? GA

For those who don't already know, my husband has custody & bio-mom has visitation of 8 year old. According to the order, this year, Bio-mom has visitation for Thanksgiving from Tues-Sun and Winter visit from Dec 26th-Jan 2. She is responsible for all transportation for both visits this year. There is currently no provision for airline travel, because at the time the order was signed, my step-son was 4 1/2 and no agreement for it could be made.

Well, the expected phone call came from bio-mom last week. She wanted help with transportation again for the holidays. We have always helped in the past with holiday and summer trips when she was supposed to do it all. But I told her that since we were away last year for Thanksgiving and Chrsitmas, we would not be traveling this year. She brought up air travel again and offered to drive here and pick him up at the beginning of each holiday and fly back with him at the end of each. I talked with my husband about it and we agreed to that.

When I called her back to tell her, she asked if we were expecting her to pay for her tickets and his. I said yes, because the transportation this year is her responsibility and she offered to fly back with him, and that her argument had been that she didn't want to drive four round trips in two months. She then said she would have to think about whether or not she would be able to do this financially. (From what we KNOW to be true, I don't believe finances are a problem for her)

She has since asked if we would pay for all or half of her tickets since we are the ones insisting she fly with him both times, or else let him fly alone at Christmas and she'll fly with him at Thanksgiving. We think he should not be flying alone for the first time during the holidays, into Atlanta. Plus she was the one who offered to fly with him. She asked for us to let him fly and we agreed. And, she doesn't pay support.

Once again we feel like she is trying to get out of her responsibility while putting it on us.

What do you all think?

 

[stealth2]

If she's responsible for all transportation, then she either drives, or pays for it. The hitch comes in with whether or not he is old enough according to the airlines to fly alone as a UM. If he *is*, and you refuse to allow that, then I think you're responsible to pay at least half of the accompanying adult's fare.

 

[sunshyne_828]

you probably wont like my reply, but it is just my OPINION so dont take it personaly. We are in the same situation with our 6 yr old who lives in FL and we live CO. The mom didnt want the child flying alone on the 3 1/2 hour flight. We are paying for the child's ticket and we told the mom that if she felt the child shouldnt fly alone then she could certainly buy her own ticket, but we will not pay for the extra ticket. The mom knows per the court order she has no choice but to put the child on the plane so she is doing it. If you are the ones insisting that the child not fly alone then i believe it is your responsibility to pay for the extra ticket. I know it is difficult and i dont mean to sound cold or uncaring but divorce is not easy and the transportation isnt always ideal for any of us.

 

[coolmomof4]

Under trypical circumstances, I agree with you completely. He is legally able to fly with an escort, either from the airline or known adult. I guess my husband's issue is that she offered to do this, and she hasn't ever paid support, although she works. The holidays are a bad time for a child to fly alone for the first time. We just want to get through the holidays and then he can fly alone from then on.

 

[JaneyS4]

Well, if its really an issue, you can always just tell her that he will be ready and available for her to pick him up at her visitation time and it will be up to her to show up to get him and up to her to get him back on time and refuse to discuss it with her. Kinda mean but if this is really happening over and over again, you gotta get through somehow.

As for flying, can't you just refuse to let him fly period? She'd have to take you back to court to make you let him fly alone wouldn't she? Of course she'd probably get it, they let them fly alone at 6 or so don't they?

Sounds to me like she's trying to make you pay for HER time though, yes.

 

[coolmomof4]

Janey-

Yes, she would have to take us to court which is want we want to avoid. We don't live in NC anymore which has juristiction.

She told me her attorney said last week that she could file for a hearing and it would be heard in a week, which can't possibly be true. Our attorney told us there is no way that's possible and the court wouldn't see it as an emergency either in case she tried to get an emergency hearing.

We should have seen it coming. We agreed with her for once and she's trying to get more.

 

[sunshyne_828]

where does the mom live and how long of a flight are we talking about?

they would make you take the child to the gate and sign the child over to the airlines and then at the other end the mom would have to be there to sign for the child's release from the airline. at least that has been our experience in the past.

 

[stealth2]

Under trypical circumstances, I agree with you completely. He is legally able to fly with an escort, either from the airline or known adult. I guess my husband's issue is that she offered to do this, and she hasn't ever paid support, although she works. The holidays are a bad time for a child to fly alone for the first time. We just want to get through the holidays and then he can fly alone from then on.

yeah, but y'all know that support and viz have nothing to do with one another. I'm not disagreeing with you on the holiday flying - it's not the best time for him to do his first solo... but if she *does* file for it (and you never know how her lawyer plays it -she could get it in quick) - you're gonna be stuck with at least half her fare. How about you offer to pay for half for *ONE* of those holiday trips?

 

[ellencee]

Where is the mother's home? I didn't see that. Father is in GA, right? Order is in NC. Depending on where in GA the father is and where the mother is, flying into Hartsfield Airport and out of Hartsfield Airport takes longer from the time you get to the airport and get in the air, or land and get out of Hartsfield, than it does to drive to Atlanta from NC.

I know the courts order it, but I strongly object to someone's telling me I have to let my child fly 10,000 feet above the ground just to see anyone!

If it is a drive-able distance, and it must be since that is an option to flying--why not meet this woman half-way with the child? It's less expensive; I'd like to think it's safer even though statistics say otherwise (I don't want my child falling from the sky without me with them).

I am strongly opposed to letting the courts have control of any family. Anytime you can stay out of court, the less control the court has on you and your family. Can't you work this out without letting a judge tell you how to live your life?

PS--I meant to tell you that it is possible to get into a family court next week if that particular court has openings or if the judge is hearing issues in chambers in order to move the dockets along faster and free up the courtrooms for criminal or 'bigger' civil issues.

 

[JaneyS4]

Hey Sunshyne, here in the airports in GA, things don't work that way anymore since 9/11. You aren't allowed to even go to the gate. You can't wait on someone any closer than the luggage pick up area. But then, I don't know how it works with a child traveling alone. But I sure wouldn't want my small child in Hartfield alone UNLESS mom could be right at the gate the minute he stepped off the plane. And I'd worry even then.

 

[sunshyne_828]

i am still trying to figure out the distance here? is there an alternative, like maybe a greyhound bus which is usually pretty cheap for a child and adult? she could probably get the bus tickets for both her and the child for the same cost as one plane ticket. I do agree though that if she wants to see the child and it is ordered that she pays for it then she needs to figure out the $$$ situation.

 

[coolmomof4]

Sunshine - The flight is relatively short - 1.5 hours. And yes, we looked into all the security stuff. We would have to do the same with sign in etc. We're okay with that. She probably doesn't know about it though.

Momma T - Yep, I know about the support & viz. At this point, I'm not speaking legally, since court is not involved yet. It could be a good argument between her and hubby, tho.

Also, You're right about court. Who knows? But if she were to attempt that, can't we file an answer for support? Not that I think it would come to that, just a question.

 

[sunshyne_828]

well our 6 yr old is flying out of tampa international and flying to denver international and we have been told by the airline that she will be escorted to/from the plane directly to/from the parent. I know it is really different after 911 but for the kids they still have to sign them over.

 

[coolmomof4]

Ellencee - I could kiss you...NO ONE seems to ever understand that!!!!!!!!!

 

[ellencee]

Your attorney could file a request for modification as regards support, but as visitation and support are two separate issues, the judge would more likely than not require two separate hearings. The visitation issue is going to be a single issue and uncomplicated decision; the support hearing would be longer and would require evidence, etc.