Home vs Custody Laws

[Juliachristine05]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? I live in Louisiana.

For the first few years my husband and I were married, his ex would burst through the front door without knocking to pick up the kids, ignore my presence in the room, and walk around the house as if she still lived there. They had already been divorced for almost 7 years when we met, so it wasn't as if she had just moved out. Anyway, I soon got tired of this because I found it disrespectful, and asked my husband to tell his ex wife to hold interactions outside of the house. He agreed with her that he could walk the children out peacefully so that the intrusion could be avoided.

He also asked her not to walk into the house anymore. For a whole year everything was fine, until one day she decided to do it again. When I asked her to step outside, she told me that she could walk into the house whenever she wants because the kids are here, and she accused us of wanting to keep her from her kids. Then, she claimed that she had never been asked not to come in the house, and raved that it is her house anyway. My husband bought the house before they married, and by law it was settled that she had no claims on it when they divorced.

Anyway, my husband made it clear that we never said she could not come see/pick up the kids. We just asked her not to walk into the house uninvited.

If she continues this behavior, what can we do? Are we obligated to let her walk in the house whenever she wants? Unfortunately, she has full custody even though we take care of the kids 24 days out of the month because she is not stable. She has never been stable. My husband doesn't want to sue for full custody because her parents are wealthy ,and he is afraid that she might try to take the kids away if he challenges her, not to mention the amount of money it would cost. We take care of the kids with no child support, so we could not afford to spend tens of thousands on a lawsuit.

Is there anything my husband can do legally to keep her from violating our personal boundaries?

 

[Zigner]

Seems to me that locking the door would be a good first step.

 

[Juliachristine05]

In the evening we keep the door unlocked because my stepson plays outside. He comes in and out.

 

[LdiJ]

Seems to me that locking the door would be a good first step.

I agree. Someone cannot barge in without knocking if the door is locked.

 

[Zigner]

Give him a key

 

[stealth2]

In the evening we keep the door unlocked because my stepson plays outside. He comes in and out.

Then perhaps that practice should end? At least temporarily? On days Mom is scheduled to pick-up the kids. Or.... Dad could drop the kids to her.

 

[Juliachristine05]

In the evening we keep the door unlocked because my stepson plays outside. He comes in and out.

Seems to me that locking the door would be a good first step.

I agree. Someone cannot barge in without knocking if the door is locked.

You all seem to be completely missing the point. The door was locked this time. My step-son opened the door to see who was at the door and she walked right in. We have already told her not to come in the house. Also, whether the door is unlocked or not unlocked, that doesn't give anyone the right to just walk into my home,

 

[Zigner]

Oh, that's different - she was allowed in to the home by the person who opened the door. Perhaps you ought to get a locking security door (ie: screen door) that allows you to open the front door while keeping somebody from barging in. Also, you should not put your stepson in the middle of this by having him answer the door.

To be clear, we are not missing your point, rather, you are missing our point. This is not something that's going to be solved by the court or the police...at least not in a way that makes anyone happy.

 

[Juliachristine05]

Then perhaps that practice should end? At least temporarily? On days Mom is scheduled to pick-up the kids. Or.... Dad could drop the kids to her.[/QUOTE

I am not asking for common sense advice. We have tried all of the things that you are suggesting. She does not care. She is walking into the house because she wants to be obnoxious and rude. Even if we were waiting outside sometimes, she finds a way to walk into the house. That is why we asked her specifically not to come in in the first place. I am asking for legal steps that can be taken to protect our boundaried.

 

[Juliachristine05]

Oh, that's different - she was allowed in to the home by the person who opened the door. Perhaps you ought to get a locking security door (ie: screen door) that allows you to open the front door while keeping somebody from barging in. Also, you should not put your stepson in the middle of this by having him answer the door.

To be clear, we are not missing your point, rather, you are missing our point. This is not something that's going to be solved by the court or the police...at least not in a way that makes anyone happy.

He has a friend who knocks on the door in the evenings. He did it without thinking. I did not ask him to open the door.

 

[LdiJ]

You all seem to be completely missing the point. The door was locked this time. My step-son opened the door to see who was at the door and she walked right in. We have already told her not to come in the house. Also, whether the door is unlocked or not unlocked, that doesn't give anyone the right to just walk into my home,

Ok, well in that case she IS knocking on the door and not coming in until someone opens it. So, what you really want it for her not to come into the house at all, ever? Then your husband needs to make that clear to her.

 

[Zigner]

You just simply are not getting it.
Ok, why don't you call the police next time she does it. Maybe she'll be arrested, right? I mean, that'd be a great thing for the kids to see.

 

[stealth2]

Are these times when she is scheduled to pick the kid(s) up? Then I would have kid(s) and stuff outside in good weather or watching for her from inside in bad. That's what I did. Or, again, Dad can drop off.

Common sense solutions are generally better than involving the law. Really.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Let me get this straight... The woman is "unstable" and you expect her to not be annoying.

Think of it this way: every time she does this, it's a vivid reminder to your husband of why he is with you and not her.

Step back. She's not over it.

The reason you are getting practical, not legal advice is twofold:
1) You have no legal standing to petition for a modification in custody/visitation.
2) Your husband's ex-wife is being annoying, not dangerous, so he'd come across as petty petitioning for a change. Pettiness is annoying. Your husband should not go out of his way to annoy a judge.

 

[Taxing Matters]

What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? I live in Louisiana.

Is there anything my husband can do legally to keep her from violating our personal boundaries?

The easiest and least costly way to do this is to lock the doors and do not give her a key. If she cannot get in, then you won't have her wandering around the house.

You could tell her in writing that any future entry she makes into the home with out invitation will be criminal trespass and that you will call the police to have her arrested for that should she do it again. The make sure you do call the police on her when she does it to back up your position. Whether the police will actually arrest her for it is impossible to predict. You can expect that sending the letter will likely increase conflict between her and your husband.

You could file in court for an injunction preventing her from entering the home uninvited. Again, though, expect that going this route will increase the conflict.

Note that since she has full custody she could simply keep the kids and not return them to your husband except for whatever visitation he was granted in the court order. If he has no visitation then she could cut him off from the kids entirely until he petitions for custody/visitation with the kids. That might well spark an expensive round of litigation to resolve.