What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
If you can take me at my word for now, that my grandson began his schoolyears as gifted/learning disabled**************.....and imagine the worst that could happen to a child in this situation;(when they refuse to recognize the struggles), then understand that the parent had no reason not to believe it when the school district convinced her it was all behavior...it will save me some time. Anything and everything that could be done to him was, He is now a beaten 17 yr old.
I saw some rough answers to a few parents and I hope this doesn't get me one but; to avoid the trouble I could see ahead, I actually urged my grandson to quit school this year. He was already out of the abusive one. In Aug. 2004, I took him to see an excellent neuropsychologist in Allentown (parents made the appointments.) GS had his first hope in his educational life**************.bonded with Dr. and felt hope. He ASKED to be tested, knowing very well he could never succeed in high school. Was never prepared for the last four years he struggled through...they were totally wasted and very harmful to his mental health.
Parents got Dr. report...were already suing school (for want of the proper term) for younger son who seemed to be following the same path (found to be dyslexic and parents won comp. amt of $10.000.) In this time the Dr. report was given to the school for the older grandson. They played around with it from the first week in October and wrote an IEP in May. It was useless, it was behavior and up to GS to control his behavior. He had such an unimaginable disabling year**************......with NO SOCIAL ACTIVITY.
He was moved all over, didn't have a permanent schedule, they pulled him, isolated him, gave him five study halls a day and literally made him feel his time was his own....setting him up to be tossed out. In the report, Dr. said he needed stimulating work for his abilities and should be prepared for college. He had severe processing deficits, ADHD, depression, post school related stress disorder, and so much more. He needed so much and he needed it NOW. Dr mentioned he needed to be evaluated for CAPD, seen for depression etc. Parents didn't do a thing, school didn't recognize any of it. They refused to test in grade six, seven, eight and eight a second time. Once we did it on our own and they saw the report, they said they had to test him. He was really getting humiliated by them AGAIN. He didn't complete their testing. Naturally, what they found was way higher than our Dr. report. they used his refusal to finish testing as a reason to write the IEP in May. They wanted to do lifeskills type stuff and send him out on jobs for part of the day. They were STILL not going to educate him. He can't read a clock and has no idea of the passing of time, he has to count change by feeling it in his pocket. He can only remember a phone number, or any series of numbers by feeling the numbers on a phone pad. HE NEEDS HELP. Sending him out to a job was also setting him up for trouble and they knew it. He is now out of school but still in need of all the testing mentioned in 2004.
In March of 2005, and sorry if this seems like I'm making excuses**************.....he gave up. For the sake of being on line "they said" that he used marijuana(not in school) . School said he was leaving the building and not coming back and that the Dr testing was probably flawed because of "drug use" and all that ridiculous stuff. (I still think daughter won the comp hrs for him too...but probably lost it all. Anyway, This is a kid who ASKED/BEGGED for help.... Went willingly for testing and hoped for good things to happen. All people involved in controlling his life have listened to the advice of the school system and TO THIS DAY HE NEVER GOT ANY HELP. They have all tried to insinuate the Dr. was a quack and said they don't have to recognize her work. Parents won't allow him to return (at my expense) and he loved her/trusted her. He can't process and respond on demand, he misses intent, **************..... is socially crippled. Dr. said "How could you let this happen to him?" I hear the words everyday.....and wonder the same thing. I should have taken off with him like they do with kids who are being molested.
I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more but want to get to my question. HOW CAN EVERYONE**************.MAINLY HIS PARENTS.....GET AWAY WITH REFUSING HIM THESE EVALS? Particularly for CAPD? It's vital to every aspect of his life. He's already 17. We are his guardians right now. I am willing to pay cash and he is willing to sign. I won't go into it now, but please believe me so we can move to the help I need**************.he NEVER had any social activity in four years. The principal kept him from everything:"forgot book three times in April...no dances or school related act. in May" Was late to class three times in Mar...no school activities in April" It was done for four years. They knew he couldn't process/manage time etc. He now drives and is always making wrong turns on very familiar roads****************************************** can't get left/right establised. He has to get a friend to go along in order to get places.
There is no way he'll ever succeed. He is very depressed and I know he'll never be able to cope if he doesn't have ONE YEAR OF SCHOOL like all kids dream of**************....going to sports, dances, not being in detention for inability to perform at your mental ability. He's a sad boy. Is there any way**************....if what I tell you is true****************************.that he was very seriously educationally abused and neglected, that they could be made to allow him a year of school without any failure (recorded grades) or punishment (for frivilous things?) For his mental health, he NEEDS a school year. He lost out on all his passions one at a time. Music was his strength and his love**************....noted by teachers in writing. He was thrown out of band instruction in grade five (FOREVER) for "not practicing." He practiced ALL THE TIME. HE COULD NOT READ MUSIC. He passed to grade four without being able to read**************.....but was not three years behind overall and could not get an IEP. He was tested at our request in grade five and found to have mixed dominance (ended in summary by saying he was being cute with it) noted that Dr. diagnosed ADHD but tester wrote that "Mom woudn't use meds" They had an eye specialist report saying he could not sustain visual focus **************.all that stuff**************It quoted my grandson as saying he was worried because he was losing his friends**************......then said "he didn't get from them what he felt he deserved." Each need got a nasty comment and IEP was denied. Instead, a recommendation went out to teachers that they nip any behavior in the bud and call mom at onset "before he can paint a different picture and we make excuses for him" (like saying he had processing disabilities) He was totally denied what he needed most****************************......social/emotional support. He's a boy who is alone, immature, depressed. He lost both jobs he had and loved because he couldn't follow sequential directions and got salads mixed up....other job got sandwich ingredients mixed up. He's not equipped to succeed at any level without a program to unite the workings of his brain. I begged the school for Orton Gilliam, Fast Forword etc. from grade one. I said if they got it I'd learn to do it with him******************************************.all denied. I will NEVER have a negative opinion of welfare people again. THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THESE KIDS TO GO; jobs will fail, relationships will fail, intelligence can't help (actually hinders); there is low income housing**************.alcohol and drugs**************...TV**************...or prison. When you are going under for the last time****************************.it's all you see. I can totally see why the majority of unsupported CAPD victims commit suicide.
If anyone can sort through all this****************************.can you help me?
I'm really not up to the harsh replies right now cause I'm going down for the last time myself. This has been on my mind 24 hrs a day since my GS was in first grade. He was so eager and wanted to know about EVERYTHING. He was so prepared for the adventure he thought school would be. He lost EVERYTHING one thing at a time.... sees himself as a "total "f-up"
Thanks for every bit of help I hope I get from this forum.
If you can take me at my word for now, that my grandson began his schoolyears as gifted/learning disabled**************.....and imagine the worst that could happen to a child in this situation;(when they refuse to recognize the struggles), then understand that the parent had no reason not to believe it when the school district convinced her it was all behavior...it will save me some time. Anything and everything that could be done to him was, He is now a beaten 17 yr old.
I saw some rough answers to a few parents and I hope this doesn't get me one but; to avoid the trouble I could see ahead, I actually urged my grandson to quit school this year. He was already out of the abusive one. In Aug. 2004, I took him to see an excellent neuropsychologist in Allentown (parents made the appointments.) GS had his first hope in his educational life**************.bonded with Dr. and felt hope. He ASKED to be tested, knowing very well he could never succeed in high school. Was never prepared for the last four years he struggled through...they were totally wasted and very harmful to his mental health.
Parents got Dr. report...were already suing school (for want of the proper term) for younger son who seemed to be following the same path (found to be dyslexic and parents won comp. amt of $10.000.) In this time the Dr. report was given to the school for the older grandson. They played around with it from the first week in October and wrote an IEP in May. It was useless, it was behavior and up to GS to control his behavior. He had such an unimaginable disabling year**************......with NO SOCIAL ACTIVITY.
He was moved all over, didn't have a permanent schedule, they pulled him, isolated him, gave him five study halls a day and literally made him feel his time was his own....setting him up to be tossed out. In the report, Dr. said he needed stimulating work for his abilities and should be prepared for college. He had severe processing deficits, ADHD, depression, post school related stress disorder, and so much more. He needed so much and he needed it NOW. Dr mentioned he needed to be evaluated for CAPD, seen for depression etc. Parents didn't do a thing, school didn't recognize any of it. They refused to test in grade six, seven, eight and eight a second time. Once we did it on our own and they saw the report, they said they had to test him. He was really getting humiliated by them AGAIN. He didn't complete their testing. Naturally, what they found was way higher than our Dr. report. they used his refusal to finish testing as a reason to write the IEP in May. They wanted to do lifeskills type stuff and send him out on jobs for part of the day. They were STILL not going to educate him. He can't read a clock and has no idea of the passing of time, he has to count change by feeling it in his pocket. He can only remember a phone number, or any series of numbers by feeling the numbers on a phone pad. HE NEEDS HELP. Sending him out to a job was also setting him up for trouble and they knew it. He is now out of school but still in need of all the testing mentioned in 2004.
In March of 2005, and sorry if this seems like I'm making excuses**************.....he gave up. For the sake of being on line "they said" that he used marijuana(not in school) . School said he was leaving the building and not coming back and that the Dr testing was probably flawed because of "drug use" and all that ridiculous stuff. (I still think daughter won the comp hrs for him too...but probably lost it all. Anyway, This is a kid who ASKED/BEGGED for help.... Went willingly for testing and hoped for good things to happen. All people involved in controlling his life have listened to the advice of the school system and TO THIS DAY HE NEVER GOT ANY HELP. They have all tried to insinuate the Dr. was a quack and said they don't have to recognize her work. Parents won't allow him to return (at my expense) and he loved her/trusted her. He can't process and respond on demand, he misses intent, **************..... is socially crippled. Dr. said "How could you let this happen to him?" I hear the words everyday.....and wonder the same thing. I should have taken off with him like they do with kids who are being molested.
I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more but want to get to my question. HOW CAN EVERYONE**************.MAINLY HIS PARENTS.....GET AWAY WITH REFUSING HIM THESE EVALS? Particularly for CAPD? It's vital to every aspect of his life. He's already 17. We are his guardians right now. I am willing to pay cash and he is willing to sign. I won't go into it now, but please believe me so we can move to the help I need**************.he NEVER had any social activity in four years. The principal kept him from everything:"forgot book three times in April...no dances or school related act. in May" Was late to class three times in Mar...no school activities in April" It was done for four years. They knew he couldn't process/manage time etc. He now drives and is always making wrong turns on very familiar roads****************************************** can't get left/right establised. He has to get a friend to go along in order to get places.
There is no way he'll ever succeed. He is very depressed and I know he'll never be able to cope if he doesn't have ONE YEAR OF SCHOOL like all kids dream of**************....going to sports, dances, not being in detention for inability to perform at your mental ability. He's a sad boy. Is there any way**************....if what I tell you is true****************************.that he was very seriously educationally abused and neglected, that they could be made to allow him a year of school without any failure (recorded grades) or punishment (for frivilous things?) For his mental health, he NEEDS a school year. He lost out on all his passions one at a time. Music was his strength and his love**************....noted by teachers in writing. He was thrown out of band instruction in grade five (FOREVER) for "not practicing." He practiced ALL THE TIME. HE COULD NOT READ MUSIC. He passed to grade four without being able to read**************.....but was not three years behind overall and could not get an IEP. He was tested at our request in grade five and found to have mixed dominance (ended in summary by saying he was being cute with it) noted that Dr. diagnosed ADHD but tester wrote that "Mom woudn't use meds" They had an eye specialist report saying he could not sustain visual focus **************.all that stuff**************It quoted my grandson as saying he was worried because he was losing his friends**************......then said "he didn't get from them what he felt he deserved." Each need got a nasty comment and IEP was denied. Instead, a recommendation went out to teachers that they nip any behavior in the bud and call mom at onset "before he can paint a different picture and we make excuses for him" (like saying he had processing disabilities) He was totally denied what he needed most****************************......social/emotional support. He's a boy who is alone, immature, depressed. He lost both jobs he had and loved because he couldn't follow sequential directions and got salads mixed up....other job got sandwich ingredients mixed up. He's not equipped to succeed at any level without a program to unite the workings of his brain. I begged the school for Orton Gilliam, Fast Forword etc. from grade one. I said if they got it I'd learn to do it with him******************************************.all denied. I will NEVER have a negative opinion of welfare people again. THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THESE KIDS TO GO; jobs will fail, relationships will fail, intelligence can't help (actually hinders); there is low income housing**************.alcohol and drugs**************...TV**************...or prison. When you are going under for the last time****************************.it's all you see. I can totally see why the majority of unsupported CAPD victims commit suicide.
If anyone can sort through all this****************************.can you help me?
I'm really not up to the harsh replies right now cause I'm going down for the last time myself. This has been on my mind 24 hrs a day since my GS was in first grade. He was so eager and wanted to know about EVERYTHING. He was so prepared for the adventure he thought school would be. He lost EVERYTHING one thing at a time.... sees himself as a "total "f-up"
Thanks for every bit of help I hope I get from this forum.
