Clarifying and thanking you all
Thanks for all the replies, it's pretty soboring, as well as informative. I'm going to check the ref. sites tonight. To answer a few of the questions. I don't play into him, as he would never hear that there was something amiss. He KNOWS he can't tell time.....but it has to remain with me alone**************.and we don't talk about it. If he asks for the time, or is in a bind....I pick up the cue and help him. He stopped wearing a watch a long time ago so he didn't have to give anyone the time. Out of some hard slaps of reality he is coming to grips with the fact he can't move forward without help. We used the word "difference" until we were backed into a corner and had to use "disability" in the courtroom. Like he didn't feel low enough already. The fact that I didn't want to give him excuses and that I was not qualified to give a name to his struggles, kept him in the dark as the school district only saw his ability and chalked his low performance up to "defiance."
And FP, he had to drop out. He didn't want to....his heart is broken; But the school would not recognize any LD's and he had no way to succeed. They did nothing but punish him for five years....over incomplete homework, mismanagement of long term assignments**************failed it all. He taught himself to read in grade four but has no comprehension and can't hold info long enough to get it to paper. He needs a lot of accommodations but the district refused to even accept one need.
When he got in trouble he asked the judge if he could live with us and she gave him permission. We have education rights..but in reality there were no choices but one public school and Cyber School. The public school said no to even a TINY tape recorder. She said he could not have a single item the rest of the kids didn't have...he'd be a distraction (17.) So he tried Cyber School. Well, take his LD's and imagine his sitting at the computer with all reading and writing. They were great and would have helped him all day, but he felt stupid**************..particularly as he was retaining nothing. In the correct circumstances, he recalls details to a tee. Long term memory/overall intelligence is excellant. He learns on his own time....used his brain very well as a little child and builds on his knowledge constantly. Short term and force feeding......no chance. Output processing; forget it.
His mother; single until 2001 had no reason not to believe the teachers over me...so was also convinced it was behavior. Our family is now estranged and (this is how terribly serious this is) I'll never speak a word to her again in this life.
She, to this day, refuses to allow my grandson the evaluations he needs to get proper diagnosis and help. That was the question in all my rambling. CAN SHE DO THAT? At best he'll go out into the world unable to function and end up************** Or, maybe he won't make it to that point. He's so depressed. He wants to be in school so badly, but is denied any followup. The school, last May, fooled the parents again, after that whole edu. work-up and wrote another behavior IEP. Not a mention from the 26-page report.
So he's here, with no plan for the day, can't even think of a job where he doesn't have to process/respond and follow sequential directions. HE'S DEAD IN THE WATER. WHAT CAN HE/WE DO? You won't believe this...but him mom wants him to fail. She held all his clothes from him the first six months he was here with us. She was finally ordered to give them to him. She told him they'd be outside the door in bags. She was right inside when he got them, and didn't come out to day hi. Also, they were all dirty. He didn't leave home in anger, he asked the judge because she had been reportedly nasty to him. The police also felt he should be away from her. He wants his mom to love him and always has. It's like she doesn't feel. If I was fair; I'd say she is probably suffering the same thing; but she has been so cruel for so long, I can't have compassion for her.
Whoever mentioned why didn't he have outside activities? He was a boy scout and loved it. While at camp they had to hurry and learn a play for the big campfire. They had a little over an hour...he got in trouble for not getting his part down. He asked to go home. It was the time of his life being at camp, but that one thing did him in, turned buddies against him. He played basketball and a teammate told him he shouldn't have gone out if he didn't want to play...that he always made them lose (he got confused which way to turn when he got the ball) He loved basketball. As a little guy he had a harmonica, jews harp, jug, spoons, tin whistle, fife, indian flute, flute, two guitars, trumpet, drums etc. Music was his life! Teachers noted it was his strength and he should have more of it in his schedule. He playing in bed, in the car, marching in the yard, in his civil war camp, tepee etc. Finally he was able to get lessons in school**************.... he was thrown out of instruction FOREVER in front of the whole class. Why? HE DIDN'T PRACTICE. Real reason; he had no idea how to read music. HE NEVER TOUCHED ONE INSTRUMENT EVER AGAIN. So is any of that the schools fault. YES IT IS. He remained unidentified and none of us knew what to do. I studied/study this every night of my life now****************************..found and learned about it all by myself. Too bad no one would hear me**************.....to bad I was always a few steps behind him. We are all worn out and ruined. Had he been identified and received help, he would have had a life one way or the other. The light went out of his eyes a long time ago.
It's like" he's bleeding and being punished for getting it on things. They'd make a goal of making him learn not to bleed on others but not help him learn how to stop the bleeding." Did I clarify at all?
Thanks for letting me talk. I need the feedback.
