How can I get 50% custody?

[5050Dad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

What can I do to get 50% custody of my son. He is currently almost 6 months old.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

What can I do to get 50% custody of my son. He is currently almost 6 months old.

If you mean a 50-50 timeshare, it's unlikely to happen without Mom's agreement and even less likely because of your son's age.

If you mean joint LEGAL custody (decision-making), that's a different matter.

Do you have any court orders in place?

Are you legally established as Dad?

 

[ecmst12]

I really wish this question wasn't just code for "how can I get out of paying child support?"

 

[5050Dad]

If you mean a 50-50 timeshare, it's unlikely to happen without Mom's agreement and even less likely because of your son's age.

If you mean joint LEGAL custody (decision-making), that's a different matter.

Do you have any court orders in place?

Are you legally established as Dad?

I want joint legal and a 50-50 time share.

Paternity test was done when he was 5 days old. We go to the TPA hearing next week - no orders as of right now.

Would anything help me get 50-50 or close to 50-50 other than the Mother agreeing?

 

[CSO286]

I want joint legal and a 50-50 time share.

Paternity test was done when he was 5 days old. We go to the TPA hearing next week - no orders as of right now.

Would anything help me get 50-50 or close to 50-50 other than the Mother agreeing?

Not right now.

Google infant parent plans/shared parenting for babies.

 

[TheGeekess]

I want joint legal and a 50-50 time share.

Paternity test was done when he was 5 days old. We go to the TPA hearing next week - no orders as of right now.

Would anything help me get 50-50 or close to 50-50 other than the Mother agreeing?

Not in an unmarried situation. If you wanted 50-50 to even be considered, you should have been married before procreating.

 

[Proserpina]

I want joint legal and a 50-50 time share.

Paternity test was done when he was 5 days old. We go to the TPA hearing next week - no orders as of right now.

Would anything help me get 50-50 or close to 50-50 other than the Mother agreeing?

Seriously, 50-50 timeshare isn't happening unless Mom agrees.

Expect short visits at first, at Mom's place. Overnights unlikely until 1 year, unless again Mom agrees.

You're not on an even footing with Mom here.

 

[5050Dad]

Not in an unmarried situation. If you wanted 50-50 to even be considered, you should have been married before procreating.

We were living together, and she said she was on the pill. I didn't plan to procreate.

I see the baby for 8 hours on Sat or Sunday every week and an evening or two as well. The Mother is allowing me an overnight this Friday night for the first time. That is all the Mother will allow right now. Doesn't it matter that I have been seeing him since he was a day old?

 

[CJane]

We were living together, and she said she was on the pill. I didn't plan to procreate.

I see the baby for 8 hours on Sat or Sunday every week and an evening or two as well. The Mother is allowing me an overnight this Friday night for the first time. That is all the Mother will allow right now. Doesn't it matter that I have been seeing him since he was a day old?

Sure, it matters. You'll likely get several hours each week, split up so that you have a few hours in an evening and a longer period on a weekend day. Usually set up so you don't go more than 3 days or so without some time with kiddo.

If the overnight goes well and Mom agrees, you'll probably be able to maintain that overnight in the court ordered plan as well.

But no, there's nothing you can "do" in order to ensure 50% timeshare with kiddo unless Mom agrees to it. And, frankly, there isn't a really workable 50/50 plan that's going to be considered to be in an infant's best interests by the courts. Just not.

Kiddo has 6 months established as Mom being the primary care giver. That's going to be maintained by the courts. And yes, you'll pay child support accordingly.

 

[Proserpina]

We were living together, and she said she was on the pill. I didn't plan to procreate.

I see the baby for 8 hours on Sat or Sunday every week and an evening or two as well. The Mother is allowing me an overnight this Friday night for the first time. That is all the Mother will allow right now. Doesn't it matter that I have been seeing him since he was a day old?

Not really - because as of this second, you're only seeing him because of Mom's good graces.

If Mom is already allowing you regular longer access AND she's allowing an overnight already - that's good! You can certainly use that in court to try and get overnights earlier.

However, again...50-50 isn't likely to happen. At all.

 

[CSO286]

We were living together, and she said she was on the pill. I didn't plan to procreate.

I see the baby for 8 hours on Sat or Sunday every week and an evening or two as well. The Mother is allowing me an overnight this Friday night for the first time. That is all the Mother will allow right now. Doesn't it matter that I have been seeing him since he was a day old?

You still aren't going to get 50/50, especially if Mom doesn't agree.
And FYI....the pill--not 100% effective. Neither are condoms, which you should use, anyway.

But seriously--you run the risk of pregnancy every time a man has sex with a woman.....If you don't plan to procreate, get it snipped or keep it zipped!

 

[majomom1]

We were living together, and she said she was on the pill. I didn't plan to procreate.

I see the baby for 8 hours on Sat or Sunday every week and an evening or two as well. The Mother is allowing me an overnight this Friday night for the first time. That is all the Mother will allow right now. Doesn't it matter that I have been seeing him since he was a day old?

That may help you obtain a visitation schedule now, taking the child to your home etc... but it won't be any where near 50/50. Probably EOW and one night through the week. You could ask to ROFR, to get additional times if Mom goes out or something... but 50/50 is very doubtful without Mom's agreement.

 

[5050Dad]

That may help you obtain a visitation schedule now, taking the child to your home etc... but it won't be any where near 50/50. Probably EOW and one night through the week. You could ask to ROFR, to get additional times if Mom goes out or something... but 50/50 is very doubtful without Mom's agreement.

The Mother is uber controlling and would never agree to something like 50-50. She has made it clear her limit for overnights she will agree to without a court forcing her is 10 per month and that is only after he is a year/two or older. I won't agree because I feel as his Father I deserve more. If I have to take it to a trial, I will, because I feel I should stand up for what I believe in. How can some people get 50-50?

 

[TheGeekess]

The Mother is uber controlling and would never agree to something like 50-50. She has made it clear her limit for overnights she will agree to without a court forcing her is 10 per month and that is only after he is a year/two or older. I won't agree because I feel as his Father I deserve more. If I have to take it to a trial, I will, because I feel I should stand up for what I believe in. How can some people get 50-50?

Because they

1. were married to the other parent
2. can agree to having 50/50

 

[CSO286]

The Mother is uber controlling and would never agree to something like 50-50. She has made it clear her limit for overnights she will agree to without a court forcing her is 10 per month and that is only after he is a year/two or older. I won't agree because I feel as his Father I deserve more. If I have to take it to a trial, I will, because I feel I should stand up for what I believe in. How can some people get 50-50?

They get it because BOTH PARTIES AGREE to it. (as stated above!)

And in order to get and maintain it, both parties must work together and be able to communicate exceedingly well to keep it working.