How do i go about getting my sister out of a skilled nurseing facility after a stroke when her daughter wants to leave her there?

[Kcrose]

Everything I say you shoot me down I realize it wouldnt be easy I'm willing to take some classes what ever I have to do otherwise she will stay there till she dies that's not going to happen

 

[Kcrose]

I feel like all you want to do is argue with me I feel as if I'm doing the right thing

 

[Just Blue]

I feel like all you want to do is argue with me I feel as if I'm doing the right thing

Perhaps you would be best served by consulting with an attorney.

 

[Zigner]

Everything I say you shoot me down I realize it wouldnt be easy I'm willing to take some classes what ever I have to do...

Caring for a stroke-victim is not something that you should rely on on-the-job training for.

 

[Zigner]

Perhaps you would be best served by consulting with an attorney.

...and experts in the field of helping stroke victims recover.

 

[stealth2]

As a general matter, a person has no say in the medical and related care that his/her siblings receive. Your sister is in control of her own medical care unless she is unable to make decisions for her. If your niece has a conservatorship (which is what an adult guardianship is called in California) or a power of attorney ("POA") for medical care, then your niece gets to make the decisions.** If you want to make the decisions then one of he following needs to happen: (1) your sister needs to give you a POA for medical care (if she has sufficient mental competency to do so, in which case she can just decide for herself); or (2) you will need to go to court too obtain a conservatorship over your sister.

** - If it's a medical POA, then your mother still gets to make decisions for herself if she has sufficient mental competency. If it's a conservatorship, then your niece gets to overrule your mother (in the same way that parents get to make medical decisions for their children).




If your mother has the mental competency to make decisions for herself, she is free to leave at any time (unless she is subject to a conservatorship). At the end of the day, if she has sufficient mental competency and there's no conservatorship, then all the discussion about what you or her daughter think is best for her is irrelevant because she gets to decide for herself. If there is a conservatorship, then that's the answer to your question.

So...is there or is there not a conservatorship?

Yo, zippy. This is not OP's mother, but her sister.

 

[Kcrose]

My grandmother hated her nursing facility when she was first admitted. When she was lucid (more often than not at the beginning), she begged and pleaded with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to take her home. One grandson did, despite the family warning him against doing so. Three nights later, he and his wife awoke to her holding a butcher knife and demanding to know why they were in her house.

It was so horribly heartbreaking to see her return and her pleading intensified because it had worked once but none of us were even remotely qualified to give her proper care (and we have several nurses and a couple of docs in the mix).

The best way for you to handle this is, if you have time to provide necessary care, you have time to visit her. Every day, if you can. Leave the strenuous work to the professionals and enjoy the time with your sister. If she’s had a stroke and hasn’t been recovered enough to go home (and chances are, that is the case; contrary to popular belief, most nursing homes are at max capacity and understaffed and don’t eagerly keep patients that could be home), dementia is coming for her. Enjoy your time now rather than trying to figure out how to fight the daughter on something you’re not medically knowledgeable about to do so.

However, if you absolutely believe your sister should be home with you, you can contact a local attorney to learn about guardianship. There is a great deal that goes with that title, so be sure you’re prepared to handle it.

Whether we are young or old, we have to accept that we can’t have everything we want in life. We typically get a firm understanding of that as adults but unfortunately, as we age and medical issues are taking over us, we forget that and it becomes the responsibility of our loved ones to do what’s best for us.

Best wishes to you, your sister, and her daughter. I know it’s not easy.

Thankyou your the first person that has made any sense to me thankyou for the kind words

Everything I say you shoot me down I realize it wouldnt be easy I'm willing to take some classes what ever I have to do otherwise she will stay there till she dies that's not going to happen

 

[Kcrose]

Everything I say you shoot me down in flames

 

[Kcrose]

Yo, zippy. This is not OP's mother, but her sister.

Its not about me or my niece it's about my sister

 

[Kcrose]

Case closed thankyou for all your kind words

 

[stealth2]

@Kcrose - you do not help yourself What medical care do you feel she is not getting? Stop whining - this isn't about you.

 

[Just Blue]

Everything I say you shoot me down in flames

You came here looking for guidance...you received it. You are free to ignore us and seek to bring your sister to your home...you will need an attorney to do this. That attorney will ask the same question we have.

 

[commentator]

And if I were the niece, I'd be in favor of this aunt backing far out. If this lady is to the point of no therapy, feeding tube issues, receiving morphine, this won't be an issue long enough to make it worth her time to "take a class." But the hard feelings will linger for a long time. If she could get past her self pity and posturing long enough to talk to an attorney, she'd hear exactly what she's hearing here.

 

[LdiJ]

Everything I say you shoot me down in flames

Everything really depends on how far your sister's recovery has gone. She may need nothing more than minimal or no care, or she could need extensive care, and anything is possible in between that. One thing that you have never described to us is just how serious your sister's situation is. If she will need help with absolutely everything, that is very different than if she can do most things herself. By not describing your sister's condition, you basically leave everyone here to assume the worst, and therefore you are getting advice based on that assumption.

 

[Zigner]

Everything really depends on how far your sister's recovery has gone. She may need nothing more than minimal or no care, or she could need extensive care, and anything is possible in between that. One thing that you have never described to us is just how serious your sister's situation is. If she will need help with absolutely everything, that is very different than if she can do most things herself. By not describing your sister's condition, you basically leave everyone here to assume the worst, and therefore you are getting advice based on that assumption.

The OP has explained that the sister cannot walk and can barely talk.