How do you get a court order forcing your spouse to move out?

[Just Blue]

Equally important, how is she going to convince the court that it's an emergency when she's subjected their children to it for 10 years?

Exactly. And how will it look to a Judge that this guy has essentially emotionally tortured his children for ten years and Mom did nothing?? Not good.

 

[LdiJ]

Exactly. And how will it look to a Judge that this guy has essentially emotionally tortured his children for ten years and Mom did nothing?? Not good.

I think that's a little harsh...this has probably been a gradually escalating thing or the marriage would have ended sooner.

Or, maybe she believed in the "for better or worse" but just cannot tolerate it any more.

 

[Just Blue]

I think that's a little harsh...this has probably been a gradually escalating thing or the marriage would have ended sooner.Or, maybe she believed in the "for better or worse" but just cannot tolerate it any more.

According to the OP she has had these issues for ten years.

 

[loco19]

According to the OP she has had these issues for ten years.

No, I said I have been working at home for the past 10 years so that I could take care of my children. His spiral into alcoholism and mental illness has been a relatively recent thing, within the last couple of years, after his mother disappeared from home. I dealt with it for a while because he had suffered a terrific loss with unanswered questions and that would drive anyone a little crazy. However, he is refusing to help himself and he is making us all miserable.

We've had our problems off and on throughout our 19 years of marriage, but nothing so severe. Is that enough background for you?

Oh and by the way, where I come from a "pisser" is a disagreeable person or something that is unpleasant. And believe me that is how I meant it.

 

[bluestblue.]

No, I said I have been working at home for the past 10 years so that I could take care of my children. His spiral into alcoholism and mental illness has been a relatively recent thing, within the last couple of years, after his mother disappeared from home. I dealt with it for a while because he had suffered a terrific loss with unanswered questions and that would drive anyone a little crazy. However, he is refusing to help himself and he is making us all miserable.

are you saying he had something to do with his mothers dissaperiance? because that might be interesting.

 

[loco19]

are you saying he had something to do with his mothers dissaperiance? because that might be interesting.

No, he did not have anything to do with her disappearance. He was living in another state at the time. However, he does believe his father had something to do with it and that has eaten away at him mentally.

 

[bluestblue.]

yea, that sucks. i can only immagine how my -already kinda pain in the ass- hubby would loose his mind if his mom disapeared. pshhh.

maby you will calm down and get him into a hospital or something. (not that that has anything to do with any legal advise you have recieved here. )

good luck.

 

[CourtClerk]

How old are the children?

 

[Just Blue]

No, I said I have been working at home for the past 10 years so that I could take care of my children. .

No. You did not say that.

I have been working from home for the last 10 years so that my children are taken care of by me because he cannot be trusted.

Get your story straight before you talk to your Judge...

 

[LdiJ]

No, he did not have anything to do with her disappearance. He was living in another state at the time. However, he does believe his father had something to do with it and that has eaten away at him mentally.

I can definitely see how that could drive someone around the bend.

Your husband needs help. If he refuses to get help I can understand why you no longer are able to tolerate things.

However, realistically if he refuses to leave, your only viable option is to file for divorce or separation and get an order for exclusive use of the marital home.

 

[loco19]

How old are the children?

My kids are 8 and 16 year old.

 

[loco19]

No. You did not say that.




Get your story straight before you talk to your Judge...

Sorry, that post was unintentionally misleading. Ten years ago when I started working for home, he was not suffering mentally as he is today nor was he an alcoholic. He was, however, going to college and spending more time with his buddies than he did at home and so I could not rely on him to be home to watch the kids. Me working from home was the best solution. And in recent years, it has become a blessing and a necessity.

I hope that clarified things a bit. I want to make it very clear that I was not subjecting my children to "emotional torture" for the last 10 years. He was not always this unstable and the kids were not always upset with his presence. There was a time that when he was a decent father. He's never been that great a husband, but now he's neither.

 

[mistoffolees]

I hope that clarified things a bit. I want to make it very clear that I was not subjecting my children to "emotional torture" for the last 10 years. He was not always this unstable and the kids were not always upset with his presence. There was a time that when he was a decent father. He's never been that great a husband, but now he's neither.

But you said he's been unstable for 'the last couple of years'. That's going to make it pretty hard to argue that you need an emergency hearing. If you put up with it for 'a couple of years', there's no emergency.

It's also going to be hard to argue that he's unfit to be around the kids if you've put up with it for a couple of years.

You're going to need a solid, convincing, FACTUAL story for the judge. An even marginally competent attorney could make mincemeat of what you're saying.

I would suggest you drop all the attacks on him - there's no need for it and it only makes you look bad. You want a divorce? File for divorce. You want custody? Then prove that the kids are better with you than with him. You want to get out of paying alimony and sharing property with him? Sorry, not likely.

 

[LdiJ]

But you said he's been unstable for 'the last couple of years'. That's going to make it pretty hard to argue that you need an emergency hearing. If you put up with it for 'a couple of years', there's no emergency.

It's also going to be hard to argue that he's unfit to be around the kids if you've put up with it for a couple of years.

You're going to need a solid, convincing, FACTUAL story for the judge. An even marginally competent attorney could make mincemeat of what you're saying.

I would suggest you drop all the attacks on him - there's no need for it and it only makes you look bad. You want a divorce? File for divorce. You want custody? Then prove that the kids are better with you than with him. You want to get out of paying alimony and sharing property with him? Sorry, not likely.

I wouldn't be quite so definite on the issue of alimony. We have no idea what her income is.

 

[mistoffolees]

I wouldn't be quite so definite on the issue of alimony. We have no idea what her income is.

Of course - and I stated that earlier.

The point was that she's not going to get out of paying alimony simply because she doesn't want to -- which is what she suggested earlier. if he's entitled to alimony and asks for it, he'll get it - her wishes are irrelelvant.