Which "family members" brought up the topic of a trust? That is who you should be speaking to, to see if they can give you any information (assuming that they told you the truth about the trust being in existence): the name of the trustee (who is managing the trust--probably a family member, estate executor or trust officer at a bank) or the bank where it is being held.
If they are unable to help, then go look at the father's probate file at the county courthouse of the citiy where he died. You can review the entire file to see how the estate was handled.
Trust information is private and there may or may not be any information about it in the file, but at least you can get the name and address of the estate executor who you could contact because the executor should be able to tell you where the trust money is being held (assuming the father had a will--sometimes when trusts are involved the person decides not to have a will so they can put all the assets into the trust).
Seems like the trustee should have contacted your wife by now, but maybe he/she didn't know how to locate her under her married name. Let's hope the money has been invested and has grown to a nice amount by now and is just sitting there waiting for her to claim it.
If there is no probate file, then you can start calling all banks in the Lawton area to inquire if the trust account in your father's name is being held there (I can get a list of all banks in the area if you want me to).
DANDY DON (
[email protected])